Worried about coping alone

hopeinthestorm

I’ve been living with family since April as I wasn’t coping living alone. I was 2 and a half hours away from all my support and it got to the point where I had no choice. Now my flat is going to be ready next week, but I’m so worried. I don’t think I’m going to cope physically or mentally and I don’t know what to do. I can’t stay with family any longer it’s just not feasible. 

My mental health is really bad and I’ve tried to tell my family my worries but they just think I’m just overly anxious about it. I’m fully wheelchair bound and have complex physical health. But after my carer left last year and the stress from dealing with her emotional abuse and her leaving me living alone and responsible for 3 pets, I relapsed with anorexia. Which I’d been recovered from for nearly 10 years. This has further weakened my body as my weight is now so low . I just feel really lost now, and I’m completely fed up of my life. I feel like a massive burden who just causes more stress and problems. I’ve tried to get a doctors appointment but there’s nothing available and I can’t access services without help, and my aunty is very limited to days and times she can help me. And it just makes me feel like a complete nuisance and I just keep wondering that everyone would be better off without me. I’m not suicidal I’m just fed up and just feel lost. I just wish I wasn’t me anymore  

Sandy_123

Hi @hopeinthestorm have you managed to get care set up ready for moving? That might be a good step. It's good your aunt can suport you when she can as well. Some helplines below, you may find useful.

• Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM). You can call the CALM on 0800 58 58 58 (5pm–midnight every day) if you are struggling and need to talk. Or if you prefer not to speak on the phone, you could try the CALM webchat service.

Samaritans. To talk about anything that is upsetting you, you can contact Samaritans 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. You can call 116 123 (free from any phone), email

I hope you settle in your new home.

hopeinthestorm

Teddybear12 said:

Hi @hopeinthestorm I am sorry that you are not looking forward to moving into your flat and are dreading living alone. Where I live we have Healthy Minds which is Counselling for Mental Health you can self refer. Do you have anything similar in your area? You are not a nuisance you just need some help. What are your plans for care once you move?  Take care.

I’m not eligible for care on the nhs. My aunty can only help me some of the time, not everyday. She works and she has her own kids. I don’t have a relationship with my mom, and my dad is very unreliable as he’s an alcoholic. I was living with him before I came here, but he left me in 32 degree heat with no drinks or food and took my wheelchair away so I was confined to the sofa. I have problems with my communication and because I have ptsd I find talking and meeting new people difficult. Before I moved in with my family I’d stopped eating and I was in bed most of the time because I was so exhausted with daily activity

hopeinthestorm

And my aunty has just told me that she has to pull back on caring for me because she has too much going on. I understand and that’s okay, I always knew that she’s busy and the world doesn’t revolve around me.  but I just felt so happy to be moving home where she could help me. But now she won’t be able to. I honestly just wish I could disappear. I hate not being able to do these things for myself and that I have so much trouble with communicating. I literally don’t know where to turn 

hopeinthestorm

Sandy_123 said:

Hi @hopeinthestorm have you managed to get care set up ready for moving? That might be a good step. It's good your aunt can suport you when she can as well. Some helplines below, you may find useful.

• Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM). You can call the CALM on 0800 58 58 58 (5pm–midnight every day) if you are struggling and need to talk. Or if you prefer not to speak on the phone, you could try the CALM webchat service.

Samaritans. To talk about anything that is upsetting you, you can contact Samaritans 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. You can call 116 123 (free from any phone), email

I hope you settle in your new home.

I haven’t got any care set up, and my aunty told me today she has to pull back on helping me because she has too much on. Which is okay I understand. But it’s just left me feeling even more hopeless. I just hate that I can’t do these things for myself 

Tori_Scope

It's good to hear from you @hopeinthestorm, though I'm sorry it's not under better circumstances. 

I've sent you an email from community@scope.org.uk, so please do keep an eye out for that  

hopeinthestorm

Tori_Scope said:

It's good to hear from you @hopeinthestorm, though I'm sorry it's not under better circumstances. 

I've sent you an email from community@scope.org.uk, so please do keep an eye out for that  

Thank you, I replied 

L_Volunteer

You are welcome @hopeinthestorm. It is the very least you deserve. We are all here for you. You don't have to face this, or anything else, alone if you don't want to 

hopeinthestorm

L_Volunteer said:

You are welcome @hopeinthestorm. It is the very least you deserve. We are all here for you. You don't have to face this, or anything else, alone if you don't want to 

I move in this Thursday and I’m so scared my aunty has now told me she’s going to have to take a step back after I move in (which is fine I understand things change), but the only other support I have is my dad, but he’s not reliable. I was living with him but he was neglecting me so I had to come back to my aunty and uncles. I don’t know how I’m going to cope. The flat is accessible but the kitchen isn’t adapted so that’s going to be a struggle, and as I’m struggling with my eating disorder it’s just going to make life so difficult.  And every time I try to talk to my family about it they brush me off. I’ve never successfully lived alone before. I’ve always become really unwell mentally, and it’s just a disaster waiting to happen  

SueHeath

Morning @hopeinthestorm how are you today ?
I can sense that you are frightened to live an independent life, do you think that this is what your family are trying to help you achieve, are you going back to your original place or are you moving into a new area darling ?

Adrian_Scope

Hi @hopeinthestorm, I've just sent you an email.