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Hi, my name is littlelav! I'm my OH's carer. Looking for advice

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littlelav
littlelav Community member Posts: 4 Listener
edited September 2022 in Start here and say hello!
Hi everyone.
Just looking for advice as I'm unsure where to turn next.

I'm currently caring for my oh at the moment and still doing a full time job,as I can't drop down to being his carer as the money just won't cover all his and my needs,the normal stuff like rent,food etc.

So my oh has Been working right up until December last Yr,with his health getting wost.

So moved forward to now,he has heart conditioning still waiting to hear what is wrong,he has osteoarthritis everywhere,which is getting wost.

A broken arm,which is a bone graft but it hasn't heal since he had it done in 2011,he has broken the plate and screws in if,only found out in December last Yr,still waiting for date for it to b fixed.

He is an ex cancer patient so I'm sure the chemotherapy has played apart in why his health has gone down.

So his mobility side has gone down,he has stick when he can walk,but now he is in his mobility scooter so he can get out and about.
He sleeps most of the time due to the pain he is in.
So for him he doesn't have a life.


So my question are really where do I turn to now.
He has had ot out so they have got the basic things to help him,currently we are fighting pip,but who isn't.got a blue badge,as I do all the driving for hospital appointments and anything else.


I know he could do with the support for himself,as well as I could do with it.
Currently renting private but will have to change housing needs,knowing what housing is like at the moment.

I'm trying to think outside the box,as I know his health will go down,and the mobility side will.

Any advice would be greatly appreciate thanks.


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Comments

  • Sandy_123
    Sandy_123 Scope Member Posts: 52,535 Disability Gamechanger
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    Hi @littlelav welcome, it sounds like your oh is going through it all at the moment. Good luck with your pip claim.  Have you had a care needs assessment done? Information below

    https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/social-care-and-support-guide/help-from-social-services-and-charities/getting-a-needs-assessment/

    I hope you can get some support 
  • littlelav
    littlelav Community member Posts: 4 Listener
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    Yes we have had them out,but as we lived in private rented,there isn't much he can have.
    So when the tenancy comes up I'm going to have to move somewhere else,landlord wouldn't let me change anything.
    So that will b the next battle.
    Thank you for sending the link.
  • Sandy_123
    Sandy_123 Scope Member Posts: 52,535 Disability Gamechanger
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    That's a mightmare for you with the landlord. I think you may benefit from having carers in place.  
  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Scope Posts: 12,504 Disability Gamechanger
    edited September 2022
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    Welcome to the community @littlelav :) Thank you for joining us, and for telling us about your situation.

    It sounds as though things are very difficult for both you and your husband at the moment. You've mentioned in your post that you're looking for advice. As you've mentioned a few different concerns in your post, I'm wondering what you think the main thing that needs to be sorted is? Then perhaps we can all try and work through each issue methodically, and see whether we have any suggestions. 
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  • littlelav
    littlelav Community member Posts: 4 Listener
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    Thanks for that,I don't know where to get carers and if he needs  respite as well as me.also I forgot to say he has a slip disk aswell.
    I know its going to be a long rocky road
  • littlelav
    littlelav Community member Posts: 4 Listener
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    He could do with any pain management for his osteoarthritis or even a support group.
    Housing I think I won't get any as there aren't any for most people and u can wait yrs by the look of it.
    Apart from rightmove I don't know if there is any other housing that has disabled access as for his needs,at the moment that is where I'm looking for like gf,or open living rooms.

  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Scope Posts: 12,504 Disability Gamechanger
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    Perhaps you could try getting in touch with Carers UK @littlelav? They may be able to talk to you about things like respite care, and have lots of helpful information on their website.

    Has your partner been referred to a pain management clinic to help him manage his pain? 

    In terms of support groups, it'll depend on your area I think. This article on To Better Days outlines some organisations that run support groups across the UK. I believe that larger organisations like Versus Arthritis run some, too. Have you tried googling 'chronic pain support groups in [your area]'? When I searched online for my area (Leeds) I got a few results.

    Yes, waiting times for housing can unfortunately be really long, and accessible housing is sadly in short supply. We have a page on our website about getting home adaptations, which you might find useful to read if you go down the route of trying to make a property more accessible.

    Other than that, you could have a look on Habinteg's website, who are an accessible housing association.
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