How can I help my brother?

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girldream

who's deaf in one ear and doesn't hear well in the other? He wears hearing aids and goes to mainstream school but sometimes he doesn't understand everything and there are gaps in conversations and he is ashamed and doesn't talk much

But he gets bullied for talking too loud and wearing hearing aids and sometimes that he has to ask what they said. He says he doesn't care but I know he does.. what can I do?

Alex_Alumni

Hello there @girldream and thanks for your query, it's clear that you care very much about your brother, and I'm sure he's glad to have your love and support  

As a disabled person who went to mainstream school, I can relate in some way to how your brother might be feeling. It can be very hard managing school when you're disabled, you're trying to work out who you are and your place in the world.

Understanding that your disability is not a problem to be fixed, not wrong or bad- this can be hard work, even more so for the non disabled kids around you. 

The Scope website does have some information about 'talking about your disability', I think something which might help is just for him to talk about it more, help him to see that explaining things, asking for accommodations is okay, and not something to be ashamed of, or embarrassed by.

Unlearning the feeling of shame or stigma we have around our disability can take a very long time, and might benefit from specialist support, such as counselling or other mental health support. It is something imposed by society's ableism and the negative attitudes of others, and is not the fault of the individual. 

Childline also have some tips on making friends, with links to building confidence that might be useful for you to share.

I'm so sorry to hear he's being bullied, is he getting support from the school, and are they aware of what's happening?

People can make inconsiderate or offensive comments because they’re ignorant or they’re feeling nervous. Given the chance, many people are open to learning and will adjust how they think about disabled people. If your brother feels comfortable, talking about his disability can help them feel less awkward. 

I know this is a long read, but I hope it's helpful and make sense for you. If there's anything else we can do, please ask, and let us know how you're both doing  

Alex