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photojim
photojim Online Community Member Posts: 53 Contributor
in Relationships
Since my spinal nerve damage my wife finds it hard to touch me, let alone have sex. She says it's because she is frightened of hurting me. Hasn't done a lot for my self esteem or sexual feelings

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  • Leo_Aces
    Leo_Aces Community Volunteer Adviser, Scope Member Posts: 104 Contributor
    Hi @photojim, I echo @Teddybear12’s comment. Opening the lines of communication is always a good starting point. If you are both able to share your experience and feeling with each other, you may find the apprehension lifts
  • Sandy_123
    Sandy_123 Scope Member Posts: 60,454 Championing
    Hi ya @photojim do you usually find it painful or hurting your spine? Maybe look at other ways that might be easier. I have a link below that you might find a useful read

    https://www.healthline.com/health/back-sex#:~:text=Missionary,or kneel over their partner.
  • photojim
    photojim Online Community Member Posts: 53 Contributor
    edited November 2022
    @Sandy_123 an interesting website, thank you.
  • photojim
    photojim Online Community Member Posts: 53 Contributor
    @Sandy_123 I have slight discomfort, but I'm willing to put up with it.
  • Sandy_123
    Sandy_123 Scope Member Posts: 60,454 Championing
    Have a read of the link it suggests more comfortable ways with spine problems
  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Scope Posts: 12,452 Championing
    I just wanted to reiterate what other members have said, in that the best thing would be to talk to your wife about your concerns, and her concerns @photojim :) Is that something you'd feel comfortable doing?

    It can sometimes be awkward to talk about these things at first, but it's usually worth pushing through! Some people find it helpful to write down a few questions or discussion prompts beforehand, to get the conversation going.

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