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photojim

Since my spinal nerve damage my wife finds it hard to touch me, let alone have sex. She says it's because she is frightened of hurting me. Hasn't done a lot for my self esteem or sexual feelings

Leo_Aces

Hi @photojim, I echo @Teddybear12’s comment. Opening the lines of communication is always a good starting point. If you are both able to share your experience and feeling with each other, you may find the apprehension lifts

Sandy_123

Hi ya @photojim do you usually find it painful or hurting your spine? Maybe look at other ways that might be easier. I have a link below that you might find a useful read

https://www.healthline.com/health/back-sex#:~:text=Missionary,or kneel over their partner.

photojim

@Sandy_123 an interesting website, thank you.

photojim

@Sandy_123 I have slight discomfort, but I'm willing to put up with it.

Sandy_123

Have a read of the link it suggests more comfortable ways with spine problems

Tori_Scope

I just wanted to reiterate what other members have said, in that the best thing would be to talk to your wife about your concerns, and her concerns @photojim Is that something you'd feel comfortable doing?

It can sometimes be awkward to talk about these things at first, but it's usually worth pushing through! Some people find it helpful to write down a few questions or discussion prompts beforehand, to get the conversation going.