Frustration and upset

Liz13

Recently been through a little nightmare...

So whilst working one day my shoulder started really hurting and to cut a very long story short here I am 2 months later no use of my arm and in tremendous pain. Its got to the point where I have to get my partner who is working full time and enjoys his job, to look after me when he comes home like cooking, cleaning and all the chores we used to share. He even washes my hair for me as I'm unable to do that at the moment. So... now we have applied for UC but honestly don't think we will get much as he is working full time and also applied for PIP as I'm just useless to everyone at the moment but also can't see us getting anything from them as only a small percentage of new claims are accepted. It just doesn't seem fair at all that I have no money coming in and my partner not only has to work more hours now to support me but also has to be a carer 24/7 when he is at home. Really disappointed with the system and just needed a little rant. Thank you for listening 👍

poppy123456

For PIP you need to have had the conditions for at least 3 months and expect them to last at least a further 9 months. Whether you're entitled will totally depend on how your conditions affect you against the 12 PIP activitites.

Whether there's any entitlement to UC will totally depend on your joint circumstances. Before you claimed did you use a benefits calculator?

Are you currently claiming SSP from your employer?

Cartini

Liz13 said:

Recently been through a little nightmare...

So whilst working one day my shoulder started really hurting and to cut a very long story short here I am 2 months later no use of my arm and in tremendous pain. Its got to the point where I have to get my partner who is working full time and enjoys his job, to look after me when he comes home like cooking, cleaning and all the chores we used to share. He even washes my hair for me as I'm unable to do that at the moment. So... now we have applied for UC but honestly don't think we will get much as he is working full time and also applied for PIP as I'm just useless to everyone at the moment but also can't see us getting anything from them as only a small percentage of new claims are accepted. It just doesn't seem fair at all that I have no money coming in and my partner not only has to work more hours now to support me but also has to be a carer 24/7 when he is at home. Really disappointed with the system and just needed a little rant. Thank you for listening 👍

Hi,

I`m sorry, but I fail to see how "the system" is at fault because of your misfortune.  You are luckier than a lot of people on here in that you have someone  who 1) Works and therefore brings money in and 2) Can look after you.  Some people on this forum don`t have that luxury.

Andy

ladyluck

According to information received when I was struggling to get my award, there are many tens of thousands more people now applying for pip. I’ve spoken to some who have had a straight refusal. It seems the assessors reports aren’t being translated into decision makers results. Many are arguing that the reports aren’t fair. Personally I was refused, got my MR lodged, and won my appeal. Don’t give up. If you are genuinely ill, keep going. I know it’s stressful when you’re ill but keep going. Every penny has to be paid from the moment you make tryout claim. Government departments are very, very slow at the moment. Strangely, when I complained, the decision was made very quickly, in my favour. For every person that wins an appeal against refusal, heads must roll at the dwp. It perfectly illustrates that something is very wrong with the whole system. My gp, nurse and pulmonary team were with me all the way, and told me to persevere, many thanks to them.  

Jules_H

My comment isn't so much benefits related. I can say though, from experience, I do know and can empathise about the frustrations of not being able to help, even relying on him to wash your hair. I bust the fluid sac between the ball and socket of both shoulders so my arms were basically useless. My ex partner has to do everything for me, then I had a stroke while asleep that paralysed my right hand. Being right handed, even cleaning my own teeth meant a face covered in toothpaste using my left hand. Then my disabilities left me bed ridden for over three years. My ex wasn't the best cook and had no idea about house work and had no idea how the washing machine worked. But he did what he could.

So I can relate to the mental and emotional struggles you're going through, and I really feel for you on this.

What I did not know that my ex was using my condition as an excuse not to work. He was telling people he was my full time carer, when infact he only did things for me when really pushed, then or was half hearted. Things for worse with him to the point I now live alone. I've been on my own since March last year so I'm back to trying to do everything myself.

I do get benefits but I was one of the few who fell through the cracks when UC started. For some reason it didn't affect me. I get help financially but avoided UC. I applied for ESA, PIP and disability benefit. If you get anything, it's better than nothing, as so many are refused flat.

Have you looked in the Disability Rights website or their book? It goes through all different situations, the various results then all the options we have on what's next. It really is full of extremely useful information, and will include your situation. 


I really hope it works out in a beneficial way to help you, even on days/nights when your husband is working and you're coping on your own. 

L_Volunteer

You have been really brave and strong in sharing this with us @Liz13, especially when you are quite new to Scope’s forum. We are all listening to you and can hear you are disappointed with the system.

I appreciate the courage it probably took to write this thread. It sounds like you have been through so much in such a short period of time too.

Though, it sounds really positive that your partner takes care of you. How have you found applying for UC and PIP?

We are here for you and listening to you if you would like to share more with us. I can hear that you feel useless to people and like you have been unfair to your partner.

Is there anything, in particular, that might help things to feel more manageable for you at the moment? We are all here for you and listening to you.

You don’t have to face this, or anything else, alone if you don’t want to. Please feel free to keep us in the loop with how you are doing and if you need any further support