Socialising

Anglocath

Hi,  been looking for opportunities to socialise with other disabled people. We have a day centre about 5 miles away but it's a long way to go on a  mobility scooter and they no longer do transport. Anyway I always feel like I'm trapped without my scooter. So nice to find this site even if it's not direct correspondence. I also feel a little like I'm going to be defined or be labelled if I'm at a day centre. Does anyone else get anoid when people assume you can't do things because your on a scooter or in a wheel chair. Or they assume your brain doesn''t world because your mobility is limited 

Alex_Alumni

Hello there @Anglocath and welcome to the community It's great to see you've made it over to the Coffee Lounge already! I hope the community here can be a supportive and friendly place for you.

I'm sorry to hear your day centre no longer offers transport, I'm sure that feels isolating for many people in your community. 

As a wheelchair user myself I can completely resonate with the sense of freedom and independence that comes with using a mobility aid, as well as the assumptions that others can make, often based on negative and outdated stereotypes!

It can be tricky balancing all these feelings, especially when you're just trying to go about your day, so I can understand your worry about feeling defined or labelled too. 

Do you have friends from the day centre that you're in touch with locally?

L_Volunteer

Hi @Anglocath. Welcome to Scope's forum. It is great to see you have joined us. How are you at the moment?

Thanks for briefly introducing yourself and your reason for joining Scope's forum. Your positive feedback is always appreciated and we are so glad to hear you found it nice to find this site. 

It sounds like you have negative experiences with day centres - for example, no longer doing transport and feeling like you are going to be defined/labelled.

Would anything, in particular, help you to access more positive experiences with day centres and cope when you feel trapped without your scooter? 

Yes, I definitely find it annoying when people make assumptions about abilities/disabilities. Please don't hesitate to let us know if we can do anything to support you 

Anglocath

Thank you for your offers of support and I have never actually been to my local day centre. I was planning on it when it moved to 5 miles away lol. I rang and they said they had a waiting list and didn't do transport . Anyhow I am going to join a over 50's club its meets this Wednesday we'll see how it goes. 
On a new subject. 
I wonder if people know when they are being patronising? Just took Molly for a walk. A friendly lady went on to ask if Molly could meet her little fluffy dog so they sniffed each other. Now the lady says in a kind of louder higher voice the kind of voice people use when talking to a toddler  I've seen you around with your dog, I think your amazing getting off to pick up the poo. She then says something like it's really impressive, so I change the subject and we talk about the dogs and her voice goes back to normal. I ride a mobility scooter because I have limited mobility. Why is something every responsible dog owner does amazing. I know people mean well but it's like I have been relegated to a toddler again lol. Got to smile no use crying I have a BA and a DipHE. Does anyone have any idea why people act like this. It seems a regular occurance. Molly & Fluffy dog wagged tails though seemed happy to meet. 

Tori_Scope

I hope that you enjoy going to the over 50s club on Wednesday @Anglocath! It sounds like good fun Is there an activity you can take part in, or is it more of a general chat?

That's an interested question about whether people realise they're being patronising. My guess is that many people don't realise that's how they're coming across, which I suppose comes from a place of ignorance in terms of how disabled people should be treated.

You might be interested in reading our recent research into attitudes towards disabled people.