My 20 year old son has an undiagnosed condition

Davina20
Davina20 Online Community Member Posts: 2 Listener
edited February 2023 in Rare, invisible, and undiagnosed conditions
Hi all

I’m new to this site but in desperate need for some help/advice/guidance.

I cannot get my son to go to doctors or anything for that matter… he just won’t leave the house.  He doesn’t want to work but I believe he has an undiagnosed condition but cannot get him to go anywhere or do anything.  He wakes about 7pm or thereabouts and goes to bed about 9am or thereabouts. When I’m in bed he’s no regard and making himself something to eat through the night.  His bedroom is a tip and has no regard whatsoever for house rules.  He left school at 16 and was a struggle to keep him there but he is very intelligent.

Can anyone please give me some steer with this.  I’ve tried so many agencies and friends and family.  The same issue comes back that unless he engages then I can do nothing and nothing that anyone else can do.  It has now had a knock on effect on me and it eats away at me every night and day.  I believe if I can get him help or to admit he needs help then I’ll be ok.  I worry about him taking his own life.  Is this depression I’ve no idea and need to get him help.  A family friend suggested it’s 

I have tried so many things including no money, removing phone, removing other items but he is 20 not 5.  It made no difference anyway.   I’ve also had colleagues try to speak to him but to no avail.  I’ve also tried not nagging for a while.  

I would love for someone to tell me what it is that I need to do as I simply cannot watch him waste his life like this.  He is very intelligent and his other siblings have tried very much with him also in different ways.   

Thanks folks but it took a lot to make this online plea so I’m hoping someone has something.  

Comments

  • Alex_Alumni
    Alex_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,538 Championing
    edited December 2022
    Hello there @Davina20 and thanks for reaching out, it's a big step to make a post so well done for being so open and honest about your concerns. I know there are members who have been/are going through similar, and I hope we can help support you :) 

    I'd encourage you to take a look at CAMHS and Young Minds for some guidance and support. I know you've mentioned having trouble getting him to the doctors, can I ask if you've spoken to your GP about everything, and how it's impacting on you both? 

    What sort of support is he getting for his mental health at the moment? Could you tell me more about his undiagnosed condition?
    I worry about him taking his own life.
    Is there anything in particular that's causing you to worry about this?

    It can be distressing to deal with these worries, so I'd encourage you to contact Samaritans on 116 123 or jo@samaritans.org to have a chat with the team. 

    You can contact the Scope Helpline by email or phone, if you'd prefer to run through everything with one of our advisers. I'd like to share a few different organisations below: 

    • If you're looking for any local support, you can search Hub of Hope
    • The Mix supports adults under 25. They have a helpline, email and live chat service where you can talk to an adviser about anything you're worried about.
    • CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably) runs a confidential information service. You can call or use webchat. Staff are trained to listen, support, inform and signpost, and it's open from 5pm to midnight.

    I hope I haven't asked to many questions, but please let us know if you feel we can offer any additional support, and we'll do what we can to help :) 

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