Hi, my name is Amante! Motobility stopped, but I'm on high mobility.

Amante
Amante Online Community Member Posts: 2 Listener
edited April 7 in Transport and travel

Hello to the Scope community 😄

I'm referring to a lady who said her online application was stopped on the motability site. She had been awarded 4 years PIP at the higher mobility rate so well within date. The DWP confirmed her higher rate mobility award (didn't say whether PIP any other info). but it said she couldn't have a car.

This same thing has happened to me today. My next PIP assessment won't be until after 29th Nov 2033. More than just one year by far. I'm also on the higher mobility rate. As my husband has recently passed away, I was in no state to look for another car, so for now, I've just extended the lease but want to get the same car as now, just the updated version

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This is the response. I'm absolutely flummoxed as my next award review is so far away. I'm hoping that this won't be a problem if I fill in the application form at the car dealership. I've got photographic proof of my award but I can't find all my details as they've been needed for proof for so many things with my step mum dying the year before on Christmas Day & this year just gone, my husband passed away on Christmas Eve. Can't something go right for once. I've not got support at home and I'm trying to do my best as Executor of two wills. I could do without this making life harder.

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Comments

  • Albus_Scope
    Albus_Scope Posts: 9,532 Scope Online Community Coordinator

    Hey there @Amante and welcome to the community.

    Firstly, I'm so sorry for your loss, that can't be easy to deal with. Are you receiving any support for the grief?

    The motobility situation certainly does seem like an odd one. Is that the only reply you've had for them, as that's not exactly a great explanation as to why you were turned down for it. Could it be you can't get the specific car? I know they only allow newer cars to be leased.

  • Amante
    Amante Online Community Member Posts: 2 Listener

    Thank you for your support. At last a bit of good news. I have found my award letter & I think that what has happened is that the motability form hasn't got an 'after' box. When I had to write in the PIP review date, I haven't got one apart from it being 'after' 29.11.33. So. I put 29.11.33 & of course, that isn't exactly true as it's going to be at some point after that date. I can only think this is what's caused the issue as the programme doesn't have a box to tick with 'before' or 'after' so people like me, can't give an exact truthful answer. I'm not going to worry, I have the award letter phew!

    On the other front, at our surgery, we have a social prescriber who referred me to two charities offer ending grief counselling. One is a listening service run by a hospice (you don't need to have accessed any of their services). The other was at a fairly local community hub that is absolutely excellent helping so many in different & often fun ways. The venue is always buzzy and before using their food club, I also used to meet my friend there for coffee. Now I'm having a 1:1 with someone who tells me she's not qualified but is there to talk to, get things off my chest & have an hour of 1:1 in peace over a cuppa. This same place is also going to set up a grief group and I'm sure that will be very interesting. Thought reaching out on Next Door (?) on Facebook, I've also been given details of a group that's already in existence about 14 miles away aka next door where I am. I've had to work to get this point, it's not been given to me as a matter of course. Not everyone feels confident enough to start asking for help. It's a worry that those who have yet to find their voice are suffering so badly in silence. Maybe there ought to be more leaflets (not everyone is tech savvy), more care by the doctor knowing a patient has lost their partner to reach out to them, or if a hospital was involved to have information given them & also in writing for them to refer to.

    Wouldn't it be good if there was more national and local information on the loss of a loved one and coping with grief?

    I've bought two books to read but so far have been too busy to read them but I will, when the time is right, at the moment I'm not ready.

  • MW123
    MW123 Scope Member Posts: 1,077 Championing

    @Amante

    Thank you so much for sharing. Your words really resonated with me. I’ve been a widow for five years now, and my husband passed away at 59, just six weeks after going to the doctor feeling unwell and being diagnosed with a cancerous brain tumour. The shock of it all was overwhelming, and nothing can truly prepare you for that kind of loss. We had been together since we were 16, so for over 43 years, and in the blink of an eye, it felt like my whole life had been turned upside down and wiped away.

    It takes a long time to adjust, not just emotionally but in so many practical ways too. People often assume you "move on" much quicker than you really do. For me, one of the biggest challenges has been house maintenance. My husband always took care of that side of things, and I still find it hard. I do have six sons, and while they have their own families and busy lives, which I completely understand, I did once ask about help with the garage roof. The response was, "Oh, just get someone in to do it." Since then, I haven’t asked again. It’s not that I want to burden them, but there are times when I feel like I’m facing it all on my own. The practical tasks that my husband once handled now seem overwhelming at times, and even after all these years, it is a reminder of how much has changed.

    I completely agree with what you said. It really shouldn’t be so hard to find help. Not everyone feels able to speak up, especially when they’re grieving and feeling vulnerable. I do think GPs and hospitals could do more. Just something as simple as handing out written information or keeping leaflets on grief support would be a start. Not everyone is online or in the headspace to go looking for it themselves.

    It’s heartening to hear about the help you’ve found. The social prescriber sounds like a real lifeline, and the community hub sounds lovely. Just having someone to talk to one to one in a relaxed setting like that, with a cuppa, makes a huge difference. The idea of a grief group there sounds really positive too. I still work 30 hours a week, so I threw myself into my work. My office became my safe space as that was the only part of my life that wasn’t affected by my husband’s loss. I also had the support of other colleagues who I’ve known for decades.

    Sending you warmth and strength, and thank you again for speaking so openly. It really does help to know we’re not alone in all this. xx

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