Suicidal teenager

Hi @Jane315STARX I am so sorry you are in this incredibly stressful situation. I have been where you are with 3 of mine and this is what I have learned:

Teenagers are very impulsive. Often they don't want to die. They want to rid themselves of their inner turmoil and pain.

You must lock away any tablets, knives, ropes etc and lock doors at night, removing the key.

The fact that he has told you is excellent - that means he is reaching to you for help.

Unfortunately, as you are finding, CAMHS are buckling and not always that great when you get there.

Is your son autistic - or neurodivergent? If so, it's highly unlikely he is getting the support he needs at school and this could be at the root of everything.

Autistic young people worry intensively about life. The whole pressure schools apply about passing exams, going to uni, getting a career. It's too much. If your son expreeses anxieties about these aspects, please ensure he knows that study and uni are not the only avenues.

When my daughter took an overdose at 16, helping her make plans that did not involve going to uni transformed her outlook. She did well in her exams and all her pals stayed on at school but she left and went on to a 3 day a week non academic college course. Took the pressure right off. We paid for a private autism assessment and she is autistic and i think that helped us to know why she was struggling.

So - school and the upcoming pressures of adulthood can be overwhelming.

Try not to fall into the role of "the fixer" Be the listener. Don't be the judge. Be very mindful when your son is talking to you that you stay quiet and, if you must say something, things like "i hear you, i see, it's difficult, we are here for you"

Never dismiss feelings

Don't tell him he's doing great at school when he's told you he's failing. Don't tell him he's handsome when he says he's ugly (examples, obvs!)

Say " tell me more about that. Talk to me about when these feelings started"

Keep the suicide chat open - it is so hard to hear i know but asking directly "are you having thoughts of suicide?" will not increase the likelihood of him going through with plans.

Gps are reluctant to prescribe anti ds for under 18s. In fact, many should not be prescribed to children so, although your GP was less than helpful, he might have been right in not offering meds.

I think also breaking things down into smaller steps for your teen can help. Finding out what is overwhelming and writing it down can help.

With my daughter, she could not see the wood for the trees - she had "so much" school work and about 3 parties to go to in the week of her OD.

Once i wrote down for her each thing she needed to do, it didn't look as much. Cross off each thing when done. Once she got her autism diagnosis, she never went to another party!

And being with them. Sometimes just going and sitting with them in their rooms of an evening helps.

My son walked out in front of a lorry when he was 14 (he's almost 29 now and doing fine) After he came home from hospital, i read him so many books. I don't know whether or not he listened but it meant i was with him and not worrying what he was up to alone in his room.

Just to add, my son showed really erratic behaviour for a good year after his suicide attempt but was refused any medication due to his age. He came through his feelings without meds and has never taken any meds. He himself refused an autism assessment at 14 but I'd bet my bottom dollar he's autistic.

Far happier out of the school system.

All the very best to you and your son.