Step daughter issues advice needed!!

john1980
john1980 Online Community Member Posts: 11 Connected
in Families and carers

I have a 25 year old stepdaughter my partner and I have lived together 5 years and she has always had a issue with me, ignores me in a room and constantly asks partner to do things just then which I do understand and acknowledge and advocate that it is important they spend time just them, whenever we visit their home I feel ignored and when they visit us I am ignored again also, things like birthdays not even a txt or a card not that I want or need anything other than a acknowledgement of my exsiatance we never have really had a argument but I'm now at a point where after four years of constant effort on my part I've given up,

Birthday has just passed and yet again not even a txt, we always make a fuss of the kids mine and partners (all adults) no children involved

I am honestly not jealous I actively encourage them to spend quality time together and tell partner go do whatever you need to do, we are always there for both kids mine and partners and both are treated equally so really cannot understand daughters attitude towards me!

I have discussed with partner how much her behaviour upsets me, they agree it's not good and don't know what her issue is but refuse to say anything,

It's getting to point I either say something and I'd do it nicely or I honestly just leave her to it as I carnt cope with it no more I don't want a argument and I don't want it to affect my relationship I'm kinda at a loss to know how or what to do

I had alot of issues with ex partner and their family and it led to breakdown of our relationship and I ended up. Leaving as a result we are not a live in each other's pockets family all do our own thing most of the time,

Am. I wrong to wish partner would stand up to her a little. Past experience may be affecting my feelings this I'm not sure how to proceed I really don't want a war but she's abit of a drama queen and I really feel I'd end up the bad one, my mental health isn't good so not sure if I'm been unreasonable paranoid or a idiot advice would be great and thanks to anyone whom takes time to advise!

Comments

  • Bluebell21
    Bluebell21 Online Community Member, Scope Member Posts: 11,800 Championing

    Hi @john1980 I am so sorry you are having difficulties with your step daughter. I do feel that after five years she should have accepted that you and her mother are together even if she does not like it.

    When she visits your and her mothers home she needs to respect that it is your home and treat you with respect. Deliberately excluding you in the way she does is not acceptable.

    Her mother is the one to have a discussion with her and tell her you are in a relationship and when she visits your home you are not to be ignored.

    Perhaps leave visiting your step daughter with her mother at her house so they can be together then.

    Not getting a birthday card or a text is a childish way on her part of having a dig at you.

    You are not being unreasonable and it needs to be sorted especially as it is affecting your Mental Health.

    Please take care of yourself.

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