How is your day going?

I get nightmares too

Theu seem. Very real

I'm. Tired this morning

Still having more problems again with my mum cannnled my work today but I don't even want to say at home and yet I want to go to work and I know is goings to be stressful. Niw my mum will make is worst by not exposing myself to anxious

I just had a home visit from a community health and well being team.

I was referred by my Doctor.

They are coming to see me again next week.

They weren't much help to be honest lol.

Morning all.

Another lovely half four start for me.

Hey I'm still frustrated about my WiFi not working at on my Nintendo and yep I had went to YouTube and tried the method to get to work but nothing. Still not getting anything throught from mum and still going to get a blood test instead of going to doctors. My mum control my healthcare and booking appointment. I'm just stuck and I do feel trapped and I can't do nothing but control myself and forget about my mum.

Hi everyone I hope yous have been enjoying the lovely weather we’ve had, it’s another nice day here but the weathers meant to change from tomorrow.
I’m delighted I got a dress yesterday for my son’s wedding next month I thought I was never going to find one lol
I hope yous all enjoy the rest of your day. 😊

@chiarieds
Aww I’m sorry for the late reply and I’m so sorry I haven’t emailed you in a while, life has been so busy the past while with one thing or another.
I hope you and your family are doing well.

@Teigr
All good at my end thanks.

@Amberpearl
Yes i remember you loosing your beloved cats, it was a horrendous time for you, tge last thing you need is your daughter telling you off, I know that feeling only to well.

❤️

Yes they keep interfering I my life

Surely it's up to me what I. Do with my life

Just a meh day to say the least 😒 just used vital money I need for bills and ordered take aways again the last few days. Just have no self control, let alone any energy to cook. I honestly said to a neighbour the other day “that I’ll be glad when it gets to 2027 and some of my funeral will be paid off as then I’ve got a guaranteed cremation in place when I commit suicide” I honestly don’t have a care in the world about myself, my quality of life or if I wake up, I am always disappointed to do so. I’ve been on waiting list for counselling and a social prescriber, the local community mental health team are few and far between with contact and my GP recently upped one of my antidepressants. I’m just planning on staying inside my flat, isolating myself from the world, I’m supposed to go to Cape Verde next year, but once I’ve paid off the deposit I’m pulling the plug as it’s just going to overwhelm me, not do me any good and in all honesty I just don’t have the confidence to go. I’ve stayed sat on the bed watching the iPad again today and just struggle to get out of bed. I just know I’m responsible for so much hurt, anger and have left many that have been in my life for the last 42 years saying “we are not surprised, you’ve made your bed now you have to lay in it” I always say to myself “why did I have to survive in 1983 and not another baby when I was born premature, I just shouldn’t have existed at all” I’ve negatively impacted every single poor person that’s been unfortunate to have to have to be part of my life” I’ve got stuff that belonged to my late grandfathers, alongside family photographs that I’m going to send back to my parents house as I don’t deserve to own them. People would often say “stop feeling sorry for yourself” but when your mental health has been weaponised against you by someone you thought you’d spend the rest of your life with, by saying “You Just Don’t Want To Get Better” or by so called parents stating “You Can’t Do That, Or Do This” just makes me feel ashamed to be alive, let alone still be breathing. I’m just going to live out the rest of my life quietly, however the short a time I have left on this planet, I’ve no plans to act on the dark thoughts for now, but like 2020 sometimes you can’t take it anymore. I’m sorry if this is hard to read, it may be best for admins to probably delete my profile as I don’t deserve to be on this fine site with such inspirational people.

Evening @durhamjaide2001