PEOPLE STARING

Manjinder
Manjinder Online Community Member Posts: 20 Listener
in Coffee lounge

Hi Folks

Do you find that people stare at you because of your disability?

If so, how do you react? Do you try and ignore, stare back, or ask them if they are curious about you?

Thank You

Comments

  • Bluebell21
    Bluebell21 Online Community Member, Scope Member Posts: 11,921 Championing

    Hi @Manjinder when my daughter was in her wheelchair and on oxygen people used to stare. We tried to ignore them. Or sometime I would ask them if there was anything I could help them with.

  • Ranald
    Ranald Online Community Member Posts: 1,148 Championing

    I was filmed by a drunk couple at about 11:30 last night. They also found it hilarious to make 'vroom vroom' noises as I passed them.

    They are now the proud owners of the world's most boring phone film footage. Lucky them. I just carry on and don't react.

  • Ranald
    Ranald Online Community Member Posts: 1,148 Championing

    @Manjinderr, i would never answer back, as I am at much too convenient a height for a size 10 in the chops. I find it annoys the hell out of them that I don't react.

  • luvpink
    luvpink Online Community Member Posts: 2,208 Championing

    No I haven't experienced anyone staring at me but my disability is 'invisable'.

  • jopops01
    jopops01 Online Community Member Posts: 8 Connected

    I’ve had people stare at me for all my 58years, more so when I was younger. Kids staring I can understand as they may be genuinely curious. It’s when adults stare that really, really drives me mad. Most of the time I’ll just ignore them, or as they pass me I’ll say something to my mum like “she’s/he’s quite a chubs, isn’t she/he” just loud enough for them to hear.
    As my physical disability has deteriorated, I’m either in my chair or pushing my rollator, so this can be a magnet for staring. So if I’m having a bad day, I just can’t hold it in sometimes and say things to them that I can’t repeat on this forum 😀😀

  • WhatThe
    WhatThe Online Community Member, Scope Member Posts: 4,059 Championing

    I used to get told off by my daughter for staring at people but I don't think I'm staring. I'd get a nudge or a "MUM!" when we were out walking. I'm more inclined to give someone a smile than make them feel uncomfortable.

  • Ranald
    Ranald Online Community Member Posts: 1,148 Championing

    The weirdest encounter I had was a woman who walked over to me, laid her hands on my shoulder, and started praying!

  • Ranald
    Ranald Online Community Member Posts: 1,148 Championing
    edited June 12

    @Wheeled_Weapon The fat is called 'shortening' in McDonald's parlance. It always used to remind me of the movie 'Highlander' (The Quickening).

  • WhatThe
    WhatThe Online Community Member, Scope Member Posts: 4,059 Championing

    The weirdest encounter I had was a woman who walked over to me, laid her hands on my shoulder, and started praying!

    Did it work? Did you get up and walk?

  • Ranald
    Ranald Online Community Member Posts: 1,148 Championing
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1036638#Comment_1036638

    Silly sod must have done it wrong, it didn't work.

  • Ranald
    Ranald Online Community Member Posts: 1,148 Championing
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1036638#Comment_1036638

    Btw, I can actually walk, just not that far. My 2 sets of wheels are mobility scooters, but I would be in the market for a powerchair next time. A powerchair would be much better using public transport ( I gave up my Motability car early).

  • Fledgling
    Fledgling Online Community Member Posts: 4 Listener

    Hi,

    I remember when I was a child ( long time ago I'm over 60 now), there was such a fear of being rude to someone disabled. My mum used to anxiously whisper not to stare.

    The upshot was that as someone disabled entered the space, say a supermarket, everyone would turn away and look busy. I used to wonder how that person felt - they must've felt invisible, excluded.

    When my own children were young, they would stare. Instead of turning away I would make a point of exchanging a few words with the person - the price, the weather or just say sorry she's never seen a wheelchair before or some such. But I'd try to just engage so that my child didn't find it anything out of the ordinary that someone looked different.

    I don't know if that was right? But I think children learn their reactions from adults.

  • Wheeled_Weapon
    Wheeled_Weapon Online Community Member Posts: 71 Contributor
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1036970#Comment_1036970

    I much prefer when people (adults and children) engage rather than not. However I'm fairly outgoing so it's usually me doing the engaging 🤣

  • Ranald
    Ranald Online Community Member Posts: 1,148 Championing

    A bloke tonight did the usual 'can I get a shot, mate?' When I passed him and his son out on bikes. It reminded me of the 'Father Ted' episode with Richard Wilson.

    They need to try and be more original.

Categories