How is your day going?

25 degrees now

I am sorry @roughyed1485. I don't and shouldn't tell people what to do or how to think so I won't, but..... when I'm feeling really low it does sometimes help me to remind myself of the principles and read one of my Buddhist books or my Reiki books.

I can't always do that but it always helps when I do. You have been very eloquent in sharing your knowledge and thoughts, especially about Buddhism, I have meant to tell you that before so I'm sorry I've not. It has helped. Take very good care of yourself. I hope you don't go back into the shadows, your posts indicate how well-informed, self-reflective, compassionate, caring and funny you are too. I try to keep a sense of humour, it fails me too often but I try. An old friend said to me the other day, 'you're bright, resourceful and not daft' 🤣, I thought ok, I'll take that.

When it feels right, maybe focus on your plans to get a dog and a parrot. You don't have to make any decisions today, about your holiday (? Cape Verde I think) or anything. Just be. Just eat what you want, when you want. There's no rules, only your own, self-imposed. Be kind to yourself - as you are to others on here. Tomorrow's a new day, we're here for you when you want us to be ❤️ 💜 🙏.

I’m taking my meds each day as best I can, just fighting to get through each day. I must admit, it may come across as crass that I wish ill on some people, but when those people are ones you thought were meant to protect you, love you and nurture you through life turn out to be very fake, cruel people and ones you thought you knew, then I guess I have a right to wish ill will.

The people that masceraded as my parents never wanted me, the woman who raised me wanted to give me up at birth, she only wanted one child, was always begging authorities for funding to keep me at boarding school 365 days a year and never told me I was loved, the same goes for the man who was distant, emotionally abusive, controlling, had a temper and in my whole life I was treated as something picked up on the carpet unlike the girl that I shared a house with who I was treated inferior to and she was more like the prodigal child. I’m glad I’ve not seen or spoken to them in nearly ten years, best thing I ever did was cutting off all contact and ties, it’s because of them and other members of his family that I was diagnosed with BPD.

same muck, different day! Just yet another day with zero air and in a sweat box of a flat. Oh well that’s just life in a nutshell