PIP help - lies are making me suicidal

I have aspergers syndrome, irlens syndrome, anxiety dissorder and very bad depression, i have knee problems, im tired all the time, i applied for pip over a year ago, and it went all way up to the tribunal and i got refused as the assessor twisted everything i said and scored me 3 points, i gave up hope of getting help, but i applied again this year as i been told so many times i should get, so i had my assessment over a month ago i managed to tell her my problems alot better than usle and my partner helped with telling them how much i struggle he lady seemed so friendly and understanding that i fort she was writing what we telling her so i fort id be awarded this time and finaly get the help ive never had
well i got my letter ive been refused the lady lied and missed stuff out she scored me 0points im so angry that im going to hurt myself to show them how much pain and suffering im going through if it goes to tribunal im going to tare the place down im 32 years old never coped in work ive got 3 kids took from me ive no income living off my partners uni loans which only just pays bills, im getting closer and closer to not being scared of ending my life because i feel i have no purpose and the fort of liveing another 40 or 50 years this way is more scary than death, i dont no what to do no more,