Catching up

Hi StarryEyed,

Soz I didnlt get back to you earlier. Been immersed in the garden over the weekend for some therapy against the madness of the hospital situation. Been chasing a new date since last week after being dropped from the weekend date given and now shut down with a reply to my complaint telling me to just wait and that transport has been cancelled. I've been a bundle of fury!

But back to the garden. Love your description of the fig leaves being 'unapologetically large'. They most certainly are, creating a magical carpet of golden hue. Here's a pile I made yesterday.

They tumble throughout the day, adorning all that stands in their way.

Still have a fair few left to collect.

It's a real mix with the unrobing of Autumn and small blasts of colour.

These guys have been a triumph. Got them to celebrate my dad because he loved the vibrant colour and pattern.

I have quite the woodland feel with mature trees creating deep and dappled shade. I can imagine you'd need that in Spain. My parents holidayed there but I've not been. Canaries mostly. Visions of bank robbers on the run in the eighties spring to mind (my sarcastic humour for anyone taking offence).

So my list would be very practical - deliveries, plumbing, heating, etc. I'm sure you have all of that covered already. We have alarm buttons here for falls in the home. GP, NHS, Council would be good for info. I'd be alright with flooding as I'm midway up a bank. Can't really think of anything else. The NHS has a buddy service which I'm going to explore re my agoraphobia. I lead a very sheltered life now. No more partying and going on a mad one for me! It's still hard to accept that this is my life. But creating variety throughout the day helps. I create my textile artworks in winter and garden from Spring through to Autumn. Keeps me out of mischief. If the internet conked out I'd literally not be able to function.

Have a food delivery in a mo so will grab my bags in prep. Lovely having a pal to chat to! I might have mentioned making friends on the bereavement site after my mam and then dad passed. Absolute lifesaver. Reaching out is key in being pro active, whatever that looks like.

Must dash. Lots of love xxx🤩

Hi Starry,

I take pics of everything I do in the garden to create a seasonal catalogue and share with the bereavement group. I find sharing helps others and spurs me on to keep going when each day drifts into the next. I'll be sorting my winter garden, repositioning shady pots because I had to cut away at the fence to add huge plastic panels to deter my creepy neighbour watching me through the fence. It's an ongoing situation. I'd hear comments made to others about the perfume I was wearing, not aware that he was close enough to me to smell me through the fence. And then other times I would see his feet under the fence, or his shadow. I now have cameras everywhere. It started 15 years ago when he moved in. So being out there is to be hyper vigilant. Not exactly the most relaxing experience but I still feel better once I ease into it. My task for today is to get the potted ferns to the little pond and all the filters and pumps from the big because it has dried up. That will be a massive task to empty all the mud and reline. Shame because my plants were doing well.

Your poor friend. You must miss him terribly. My parents moved into an assisted living place where there is help on hand if needed with carers but maintaining an independence. They had a roof garden which I helped rejuvenate. They created beautiful gardens wherever we were. I miss the old garden before they moved. It was a proper cottage garden, a sanctuary for all wildlife. They had bats flitting about on an evening when we'd sit by the firepit after a bbq in the summer months. I miss my old life. Everything I did was with them. Getting upset now so I'll stop there.

I agree with your plan of getting one hard task done a day for your list. Feeling overwhelmed or avoiding things we don't want to do is human nature. I find making a start the hardest and then it will flow. If everyone has the completed list they can add to it. Can't imagine being flooded or having blackouts. I know it happens here, every year. The peeps can't move because they can't sell and can't get insurance. I panic if a fuse blows. I need to be in control. The massive mirror fell off the wall the other week and was only saved by the buddha's in the shrine. I managed to get it trussed up again and recreated the shrine (in memory of mam and then dad joined her there). I was so lucky it didn't smash everything. Here it is.

It is comforting knowing they are together, with my beloved cat, Porscha. Feels like everyone I love has died. I still have two sisters and their families but they are so far away. Babe, I'm getting too upset so I'll go for now. The shrine is a creative space in which to remember them but when I do I can't cope.

Lots of love xxx😥

Hi @ChristineC1 👋🏼 😊 ❣️😘

What a delight to hear your insights and what's happening around you. It feels like we're hanging out in your garden, chatting over tea while Sweetie sits curled up under a luscious, leafy bush, watching us, with just one eye half open - as kitties often do.

If you were to give sadness an image, what would she/he/it look like?

I too had cancer. It was breast cancer, diagnosed in 2014 just the week before moving to Spain. And a month before that I was diagnosed with peripheral neuropathy in my feet. Those diagnosed were after a lifetime of other illnesses, so I applied for and started disability pension. I'm so sorry you've had a cancer recurrence. Are you going through treatment other than surgery?

Yes, I FINALLY finished my contact list last night. Having read your post gave me the push I needed to finish. Thank you for that. Pretty soon I'll have enough done to start our emergency preparedness thread. I'll let you know here when I start it. Or perhaps you want to start it?

Here are some flowers for you that I've seen recently.....

With much softness and love to you and Sweetie

💕✨ 🥰 ✨💕

Hi @ChristineC1

I'm so happy you like your flowers. Yay!

So your first cancer was breat cancer? If you would like, you could give me the date and time of your presentation to hospital so that I can synchronise with you to send you loving vibes at that time by chiming my meditation bells, lighting a candle then lighting an incense stick. Would you like that?

Yes, we get some select Cadbury products here. Otherwise I would have to move. ;)

Here are some recent pics of my kitty Angel...

In her new basket (can you see her?):

From her mountaintop, waving hello:

Maybe Angel could join you, Sweetie and me in your garden? 💓

Here is my favourite mourning song, which I discovered in May 2023. That was the first time I lost someone very close to me. Perhaps this may speak to you in your mourning?

With much light and love to you and Sweetie 🕯️💓😊🤗

@ChristineC1 on second thought, maybe it's too personal for you to divulge the date and time of your surgery. If you want, you can pick any date and any time for me to send you vibes through the aforementioned steps.

@MadMilan2019 what an intriguing perspective in your poem. Wow. And the imagery is magical. Thank you for sharing that.

Tomorrow I will start the thread on emergency preparedness and post a link here. By committing to this now, that will give me the auto-boost to do it tomorrow. 😊

Hiya,

Soz I'm late in getting back to you. Been knee deep in soup making yesterday. Machine broke half way though and so my second batch is waiting for a new one to come Fri. So annoying. And I did my smoothies this morn. Check out Rhonda Patrick for healthy eating and longevity. The batch cooking fits in with your emergency planning, although I'm not sure how that would pan out if the freezer were to go off. But if you all gathered together to feast on the spoils it would help many in a crisis. I actually contacted Red Cross but they were tied up and not accepting anyone in any capacity, mine being for transport if the hospital continued to refuse, but that is all set for next Tues at 11. I think your chimes and good vibes is a magical thing. Fingers and eyes crossed it goes ahead this time. Having the date set again allowed me to move out of the angst and onto normal everyday tasks. It's only because of the rain that I stopped gardening but it's glorious out there now so might pop out, even to get some pics to post of what I've been doing. Lots of emptying pots and repotting, planting up the new raised bed, ordering plants and having tubs filled ready. All a huge undertaking but I do love being immersed in the garden.

I agree that poem is fabulous. We so often forget to be kind to ourselves and look outward to find wellbeing. It's all inside of us.

Already had my own emergency this morn rescuing a blue tit from Sweetie. She was a stray when she came to me, fighting the foxes for the dog food. She hasn't tamed that wildness with a fierce instinct to capture everything, including the massive crows and magpies (2 for joy earlier) that visit the garden. She's such a loving and happy soul but still a cat by nature. My Porscha was not at all cruel, but then I had her from being very little (another rescue). She loved watching the baby birds coming to paddle in the pond with their mothers. Two extremes but loved equally. Sweetie always comes searching for me through the window if she can't see me. She's sitting here now on the bed having a wash. Shining in the sunshine.

Must crack on with the day. I have new inks for the printer to sort out (always tricky getting them to settle in) and a tv to set up (hate tech so will see how that plays out!)

Glad to see you are getting on with the old list. A back up generator is a thing in end of the world scenarios so that could be worth investing in to keep the electrics powered. But obviously a bulk buy in candles would be worth while. And plenty of firewood and that gadget camping men use to strike and light the fires. Light, heat, food store (a pantry stockpile of tins and cold things) and a pump for flooding. Boats have a build in bilge system. I remember having to do that when we ran into a massive tree under the water and mam went off for help while me and dad frantically stopped the boat sinking! I can picture mam clinging onto the side of a boat taking her off to the boat yard. She couldn't swim and must have been terrified. Brave!

Whatever you are doing today make it count. I keep a diary and plan ahead. Every tick has a feel good glow. By end of week large jobs can be accomplished or carried over as a major task. Keeps me motivated. Bobbing along on the sea of grief.

Lots of love xxx😉

Hi MadM!

Love your title. As an agoraphobic for 20 years I am physically very isolated. My parents have passed and my sister and her family moved away. I have my sis up north who is coming to be with me for my cancer surgery next week but only for a couple for days. I have my therapist once a week for one hour to keep me balanced. It is tough being self reliant, but I do enjoy the freedom of living alone and being creative as an artist and keen gardener. Popping in here keeps me motivated. Creating friendships are key in feeling connected to the world, even if it is online. Still very real.

I've been inspired myself to write poetry which I hand embroider into my textiles. Real experiences captured in thread. The essence of. Haven't got it to hand but will try to find it to post.

Nice to meet you hun xxx😁

Hi Starry,

So annoying when that happens. Not sure if there's a history where you can recover old posts. But not to worry if it's lost. I'm feeling the good vibes anyway!

Having a lazy Sunday with Sweetie curled up on my knee while I linger over coffee and my puzzle book. Already done an Amazon Fresh for delivery this afternoon, getting goodies in for sis arriving tomorrow lunchtime. Clotted cream strawberry scones (mam's fave), viennetta icecream from when we were kids, trifle and chunky soups. Surgery Tues seems a long way off in my head. Already got my bag sorted weeks ago so nothing to prepare. Have the housework to do today and change the bedding tomorrow. Not sure what we'll do in the afternoon. Hoping for a swim to get me started again so I can work it into my weekly schedule like I did before. Was lashing down again so everything is soaked. Still be nice to get to the woods though as it was closed for high winds last time.

Managed to get my tv set up with all the extra channels. Such a palava. Good timing with the rain as I've been unable to get on with the garden. Have plants arriving Mon so will just have to go with the flow. My therapist accuses me of trying to control the universe, which is true! I do like to have a schedule and stick to it. But if I can achieve it all by xmas I'll be happy. Have my roses arriving by end Nov.

Already looking to after surgery when it's all done and I'm recovering. Therapy has taught me to look back at what I am dreading so it is behind me, putting it into context. It does work, providing balance.

Sweetie is wanting another bite of her breakfast. Like me to sit with her in the kitchen, on look out. She does the same for me when I'm on the loo!

Will let you know how it goes. My sis will take Sweetie if I don't wake up. She'll have a fab life with my sis as her big garden overlooks the farmers fields. So lots of things to chase and explore.

Lots of love xxx😀

@Admin_Scope thank you for sorting out this post from last night. Much appreciated 👍🏼

@ChristineC1 that last post by me that was just posted this morning is the one I was trying to post last night. You may have figured that out. Anyway, good to hear you're hanging in there and still on schedule with your preparations. Yay for you!

Hi @ChristineC1

I hope you're okay. Yes, the incense holder is a boat, specifically a canoe. It's very powerful. I brought it with me from Canada when moving here in 2014. It's solid wood, made by a Native Canadian. I'm settled into my hotel, sending you healing vibes 💗😘

(P.S. I just realised I misunderstood your incense request, so I'll have to give you a raincheck on my return.)