As We Near World Mental Health Day – Tips For Looking After Our Mental Health 💆

Hi MadM!

Love your title. As an agoraphobic for 20 years I am physically very isolated. My parents have passed and my sister and her family moved away. I have my sis up north who is coming to be with me for my cancer surgery next week but only for a couple for days. I have my therapist once a week for one hour to keep me balanced. It is tough being self reliant, but I do enjoy the freedom of living alone and being creative as an artist and keen gardener. Popping in here keeps me motivated. Creating friendships are key in feeling connected to the world, even if it is online. Still very real.

I've been inspired myself to write poetry which I hand embroider into my textiles. Real experiences captured in thread. The essence of. Haven't got it to hand but will try to find it to post.

Nice to meet you hun xxx😁

Hi Starry,

So annoying when that happens. Not sure if there's a history where you can recover old posts. But not to worry if it's lost. I'm feeling the good vibes anyway!

Having a lazy Sunday with Sweetie curled up on my knee while I linger over coffee and my puzzle book. Already done an Amazon Fresh for delivery this afternoon, getting goodies in for sis arriving tomorrow lunchtime. Clotted cream strawberry scones (mam's fave), viennetta icecream from when we were kids, trifle and chunky soups. Surgery Tues seems a long way off in my head. Already got my bag sorted weeks ago so nothing to prepare. Have the housework to do today and change the bedding tomorrow. Not sure what we'll do in the afternoon. Hoping for a swim to get me started again so I can work it into my weekly schedule like I did before. Was lashing down again so everything is soaked. Still be nice to get to the woods though as it was closed for high winds last time.

Managed to get my tv set up with all the extra channels. Such a palava. Good timing with the rain as I've been unable to get on with the garden. Have plants arriving Mon so will just have to go with the flow. My therapist accuses me of trying to control the universe, which is true! I do like to have a schedule and stick to it. But if I can achieve it all by xmas I'll be happy. Have my roses arriving by end Nov.

Already looking to after surgery when it's all done and I'm recovering. Therapy has taught me to look back at what I am dreading so it is behind me, putting it into context. It does work, providing balance.

Sweetie is wanting another bite of her breakfast. Like me to sit with her in the kitchen, on look out. She does the same for me when I'm on the loo!

Will let you know how it goes. My sis will take Sweetie if I don't wake up. She'll have a fab life with my sis as her big garden overlooks the farmers fields. So lots of things to chase and explore.

Lots of love xxx😀

@Admin_Scope thank you for sorting out this post from last night. Much appreciated 👍🏼

@ChristineC1 that last post by me that was just posted this morning is the one I was trying to post last night. You may have figured that out. Anyway, good to hear you're hanging in there and still on schedule with your preparations. Yay for you!

Hi @ChristineC1

I hope you're okay. Yes, the incense holder is a boat, specifically a canoe. It's very powerful. I brought it with me from Canada when moving here in 2014. It's solid wood, made by a Native Canadian. I'm settled into my hotel, sending you healing vibes 💗😘

(P.S. I just realised I misunderstood your incense request, so I'll have to give you a raincheck on my return.)

Hi Starry,

Just a very quick catchup. Sis has gone for her train. Had to stay longer than planned as in such a state but healing well now. One week since surgery. Getting some face shape back after being a puffa fish! Sis took pics to get a timeline so will post later. Will have to go for a nap in a mo but will catch up soon.

Hope you are having a great time on your hols. Beautiful virtual pressies! Have to eat soft foods with the handle of a teaspoon as could barely open my mouth and need a drinking straw. So those chocs would still be tempting me if they were real. Ice cream, hummus, soups. Getting some soft cheeses in with crumpets.

Off for a nap hun but see you later xxx

Hi Starry,

Thank you for the hugs and kisses and relaxing music. I'm more a hip hop, old school rave, techno kinda gal. But I do like ragga and reggae. When the neighbours put music on in the garden I blast my own just so I don't have to listen to them.

Glad your hols gave you good experiences to use again. And next time I buy incense I'll get that Goloka (or Golum so I can remember it).

Quite relieved to get my own space back again with sis gone home. We don't really get along naturally so not not a relaxing vibe. She's very easily offended and I'm very much without a filter, open and honest. So I've been catching up on washing and general tidying. I realise I like how I live and the freedom of living alone. We couldn't be more different and even as kids it was difficult. But I kept thanking her for all she has done in caring for me because I do appreciate it. Not sure how I would have managed without her. Will see her again very soon for the follow up next Tues. No more treatment. Just regular checkups 3 monthly for 2 years and then less frequent after that for 5 years. So certainly keeping an eye on me. And I'll get to see sis throughout the year.

Will be catching up on my jigsaw puzzle today. Have to rest between doing everything physical. Even getting ready is exhausting. But I'm healing well. Still waiting for sis to send me the pics.

Will keep popping in to say hi. Having a new friend is nice.

Lots of love xxx😀

Hi Starry,

Still finding my feet but recovering well. Loads of stitches inside my mouth on one side. Can't wait to clean my teeth with a toothbrush! The Corsodyle mouthwash is antiseptic / anti biobiotic but I have a thing about cleaning my teeth so not the best. Sis said I'm a very bad patient and have no patience. I had to tell her I'm not one of her childa! I'm elder by 3 years and she's always fought with me. Half the time I have no clue why. Her issues, whatever they are. But I am grateful to her for caring for me. She's ignoring my phonecalls and texts so I've given up trying. Will see her when she comes back.

Been catching up on housework and washing the crystal for candles and xmas greenery in preperation. Ordered some tartan bedding greens and reds) and a fun peppermint sticks furry one for xmas day. Since mam passed 4 years ago I couldn't bear everything about xmas - no food or treats, tv, decs or pressies. All of the xmas decs from my parents are in the loft and I still can't open the boxes. Just too painful. But having sis over has sparked a light for a new type of xmas (decor - house and garden).

I have another batch of plants arriving soon so if I can I'll get planting up. If I make a start it's better than not. I've missed being out there, although it has been raining a lot.

Will keep in touch. Thanks for the music babe. Listening to some R&B soul at the mo. Need to feed my wild things. Sis said she wouldn't do it and they aren't real pets. But they are to me. I love my fox cub and have been feeding him since he was born. Sweetie would wait and dart out at him with her hands in the air, standing up like a meer cat to frighten him. He'd go squealing up the garden with his egg!

Lots of love xxx😀

Hiya,

Haven't started on xmas decs yet but did get my plants delivery and it took about an hour to unbox and sort through. And with the rain I didn't have to water any of it. Hope I can start potting up tomorrow. Have a range of white, blue and purple pansies and viola's with blue grape, hyacinths (white and blue's) and crocus I think. Have a bunch of pastels too. Garden was drenched when I was out there. But we have 2 clear days ahead to make a start. Going to turn cold at night with a few minus. Got a banana plant in the sale so I'll have to remember to take it in.

I only started chatting with sis again when my mam passed about 4 years ago so still getting to know one another. She's so very outspoken and really quite rude. She even made comments about me back answering her because I wouldn't do as I was told! Si I'm hoping her next visit will be less strained. She'd go off on one if I behaved like that towards her. I refuse to be her project. She sees my honesty as being unfiltered, as if that's a bad thing. I have no time for mind games.

Yes the mouth is still incredibly uncomfortable. More of a pressure than actual pain. But the swelling continues to go down. I now have a cheekbone again but still very distorted. Sis is ignoring me and won't send the pics of my surgery to me. Posted to the group chat so I don't understand it. Hope I can see my therapist in the next day or two. Will be good to vent about sis. Get it out of my system.

Sweetie has been out chasing the little fox when he came to collect his eggs. She's so hostile towards anything that ventures into her garden. I gave him an extra few eggs to console him!

Love that you embrace your darkness too. Part of life. I must have been quite wicked in my past lives to have had cancer 3 times (in my mid twenties, thirties and now fifties). But the silver lining is that it was a random thing and they don't know why. Don't know how long it will take to actually heal so I can brush my teeth. Tried a finger swab and had to stop. Can't open my mouth enough on that side. Will need to whiten my teeth after all this is over. That's if I have any left!

Night hun xxx😉

Hi Starry,

So pleased your xmas preps are going well. I slept and rested a lot of yester. No gardening or housework apart from the usual routine of dishes and washing / drying. Watched Saltburn again. Such a fab film. Didn't get into the garden so might try again today. If I can get my pansies and viola's done that will be a massive achievement. My hostas in hanging baskets have been drenched so will probs take them down to store if I can. Just have no oomph at the mo.

Not at all sure why sis was so wound up when she stayed. I was enjoying her being here. She did say that she'd never been away from her family for a week and because I wouldn't just be a child and do as I was told I think she felt rejected. Not mine to own. She's coming back again tomorrow so I'll see how she is. Not a long stay as just a checkup.

Really uncomfortable with the stitches all along the teeth line. Still can't open my mouth wide enough to get a toothbrush in. Driving me mad!

Much love to ya xxx