Public transport gives me anxiety.

StarryEyed · December 2025

Still.....

Amaya_Ringo · December 2025

I'm sorry you had such a bad time :/ It does seem like people have less consideration/patience just in general than before the pandemic.

I had a horrible experience last summer on a well known long distance train operator route where overcrowding is very common…

The journey down, at least the guard tried to help, even though there wasn't really a means to do so - she did find me somewhere out of the most crowded part, even though it meant sitting on the floor.

The journey back, I got a lecture from that train manager, who presumed she knew what I could/could not do better than me, after having met me for ten minutes. I complained, I got an apology from the company.

I like travelling, generally. I like buses and trains because they mean I don't have to navigate a route for myself, and I'm also pretty used to both. BUT at the same time, I have had some really silly experiences (mostly on trains rather than buses). Like being moved out of the disabled area for a bike…

I'm autistic, my disability is invisible. That's an issue sometimes. I am also always happy to move from the disabled area for a wheelchair, or a person with limited mobility, or a person with a guide dog/someone with more need than myself. But not for a bike. Or someone else's bag/suitcase/buggy. Or definitely not a dog.

StarryEyed · December 2025

@geckobat yes for sure. It also doesn't work for all situations.

@ryleyyg I appreciate every comment here too. I have no one in my group of friends and family who are in a similar situation either with my psychiatric or physical disabilities. And I don't qualify for government supports because I'm not considered sick enough by their measuring stick. I've worked really hard to adapt to my situation, so by the time they evaluated me a couple of months ago I had made such strides on my own that I no longer qualify for government supports - as things are now. So that's why I joined this forum, for group therapy, peer support. And moving around is exactly what I'm working on right now. So thank you for starting this thread.

As to why we have problems being in social environments is probably a really complex, twisty network of wiring in our head going all the way back to childhood. It's hard to tell even if it's staring us in our face, like bullying or another childhood trauma. It's not like Hansel and Gretel collecting the bread crumbs along a single path in trying to get back home to our True Self. There are bread crumbs all over the forest I'm sure for all of us. I think what really matters is just starting from the here and now and not judging it as being good or bad or the right way or the wrong way. Because the judgement is really irrelevant. It just boils down to the fact that moving around is a necessity, and therefore if you can't move around you have to figure out how to move around. So my approach is to just set to it and figure out how to embrace my fear and my anxiety and use those as my guide to let me know how to learn to move in this world. Simply put, I just want to be comfortable in the world. Perhaps you can try that approach? It's like @Littlefatfriend says, to love yourself. I think I'm this case accepting your fear and anxiety is the best way to love yourself.

Regarding your thinking of others, I wonder if you might find the advice my brother gave me about 15 years ago. I used to ruminate endlessly about what others were thinking about me and what they really meant by what they did and said. I used to really struggle with paranoia that fed the ruminating. This advice is so simple it sounds insignificant but it changed my perception of the world.

#1.

ME - LOOKING FOR HIDDEN THOUGHTS: Thinking a million things about what a person is thinking about me.

MY BROTHER: You have no way of reading their mind. Eliminate the possibility of knowing.

#2.

ME - LOOKING FOR HIDDEN MEANING: Thinking a million things about what a person really meant by what they said or did.

MY BROTHER: The possibilities may be endless. Focus only on the surface possibility - exactly what they said or did. No hidden meanings. Take things at face value.

#3.

ME - LOOKING FOR MOTIVE: Thinking a million reasons of why they did or said something.

MY BROTHER: The possibilities may be endless. You have no way of knowing this. Eliminate the possibility of knowing.

Over the years, this has changed pretty much every interaction I have and it has freed up soooooooo much brain space and heart space.

Well, that's all I've got. I hope you or someone else found this helpful. If not, it's nice to think that perhaps it's helpful.

This is so awesome to have you people in my life to talk about this stuff. 😊

StarryEyed · December 2025

There's the post I made last night!! Yippee!!! 😁

Thank you sooooo much for fixing that @Admin_Scope 🙏🏼👍❤️

Umbrellabel · January 4

Jumping in on this older post because I wondered if anything has changed for you since then. One thing that’s helped me on tense journeys is planning a “focus point,” like a simple game on my phone or a calming playlist, so I’m not scanning everything around me. Have you found anything that makes public trips feel a bit safer or easier?

66Mustang · January 4

I came here to add my thoughts on people looking at me, but have little that hasn't already been written

All I have to add is some stuff I’ve learnt about how we interpret faces – and sorry if I'm going over stuff you already know

With some conditions (PTSD being a primary but not exclusive one) you can develop something called "hypervigilance". This is a kind of primal survival mechanism whereby the brain scans for signs of any danger to keep you alive

They don’t have to be semi-rational, unfriendly faces are an example of a danger signal. A look of contempt might precede danger, even if not physical, as mere rejection/isolation could lead to exclusion in prehistoric times which often meant not surviving

A nice way it was described to me is it’s like a fire alarm (this being your emotions like anxiety) are working just as they should do; but the smoke detector (your receptiveness to triggers of those emotions) is much too sensitive

Because of all this, we assume the worst… In your case you know that 9 people out of 10, even 99 out of 100, who make a face aren’t doing it on purpose, it’s just their natural expression! However, wrongly assuming safety can cost us our life; whereas wrongly assuming danger “only” causes us anxiety; so we’re programmed to favour the latter as our primitive brain decides we'd rather live in constant anxiety than be dead

I hope this helps a little, I might be in a minority but I find understanding the mechanics of it helped me, it kind of removes some power from the problem to know how how and why it happens

WhatThe · January 4

Public transport is stressful. That's why people walk, cycle, drive or use cabs to get somewhere.

I don't think anybody enjoys using public transport, do they? People on city buses always look anxious, suspicious of others, take up two seats for as long as they can, yell on their phones, it's pretty horrible. Trains are easier and I will walk through several carriages to find somewhere quiet and not facing anyone.

I don't think we are meant to 'enjoy' public transport. It's a means to an end and if the end - cinema, library, work - is what you want, you'll put up with the discomfort of those journeys.

Facing backwords on any journey is easier on my eyes.

StarryEyed · January 5

@66Mustang what a fabulous description you've written.

@WhatThe I don't think any of us here are referring to a normal distaste for public transport. It's like saying to someone who has depression that everybody gets depressed, or someone with Alzheimer's that everyone has memory problems, or someone who has PTSD that everyone has experienced trauma....

WhatThe · January 5

StarryEyed,

I don't think we are either but that's a tad insulting to anyone with Alzheimer's or PTSD. The difference is nobody uses public transport 24/7 and there are plenty of options available if public transport is too stressful.

Avoiding other humans is another matter. This thread is about public transport.

Public transport gives me anxiety.

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