Social services have told my sons school im seeing a therapist
II'm A so stressed out now that social services are involved in my sons life and now I dont feel I have a life of my own.i cannot even speak to anyone because anything i now say will be judged that im not safe to look after him.i had a meeting last week at my sons school to discuss the severity of the situation with this girl who has coerced him ( which he still cannot see and its now affected his behaviour at school).but the teachers attitude toward me although very pleasant as usual had clearly changed and it they very obviously guarded and had been told ( I think) that I suffer with mental health.Which im furious about because its never put my son in danger or been in any danger and I have been the one to alert everyone about this girl as the safeguarding issue.I don't see how I can ever return to the school or now see a therapist when everything is shared
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Taking children into care is only rarely a move that is in the child's best interests, and it is also very expensive for the local authority.
The social worker is there to help you both.
In practical terms there will be occasions where you need to attend the school in future, and your therapist would only ever disclose information that they felt applied to safeguarding. Otherwise anything you say is confidential.
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It really does sound as though this whole situation has been deeply upsetting for you, and that’s completely understandable. When you’re focused on protecting your son and then suddenly feel the attention shift onto you, it can feel unsettling and unfair.
Schools often become more formal once social services are involved. This is usually a procedural response rather than a judgement about you as a parent. The safeguarding concern remains about what your son has been involved in, not about blame being placed on you.
Try not to withdraw from your therapist during this time. They are there to support you and to offer a confidential space where you can process how all of this is affecting you. Unless there is a clear safeguarding risk, they will not disclose your conversations.
With their help, you can begin to understand why this feels so overwhelming and rebuild your confidence. That can make it easier to engage with the school again and gently but firmly steer the focus back where it belongs, on supporting your son and addressing his behaviour in a constructive way.
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I cannot go to therapy now because previously everything was turned against me and I lost custody of my son and it took 3 years to get him back
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This social worker is not helping she is more interested in why i have more bedrooms than I need
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Given what you’ve been through before, it’s completely understandable that this has brought a lot of fear back for you, even though it doesn’t reflect what’s happening now. When something has been traumatic once, it’s very easy for your body to react as if it’s happening all over again.
From what you’ve shared, you raised the concerns with the school because you were worried about your son. That shows you were acting protectively and responsibly as a parent. The questions from the social worker can feel intrusive or irrelevant, especially things like asking about bedrooms, but they’re usually just part of the standard checklist they have to go through with every family. It doesn’t mean they’re looking for a problem or judging you.
If you’re able to, having a trusted friend or family member with you when social services get in touch or visit might help you feel a bit less alone. Sometimes just having someone beside you can make the whole process feel more manageable.
Your anxiety makes complete sense given your past experiences, but nothing you’ve written here suggests that those events are repeating themselves. You’re clearly focused on your son’s safety and on the behaviour that’s being affected by the company he’s been keeping, and you’re trying to do the right thing in a very stressful situation. Everything you’ve written shows a caring, loving mother doing her best for her child.
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@Kimi87 that confidentiality clause that you mention and that I signed many years ago meant absolutely nothing when all my private therapy sessions were read out ( large snippets of) infant of my ex partner and his entire family,my mum which he then went on to print the details and circulate around my entire neighbour leaving me to have a total nervous breakdown.The only saving grace was a highly respected psychiatrist at the time who was absolutely appalled that my medical history had not only been used in such a manner but had been allowed to,and twisted and misconstrued.So what people assume can't be done.HAS been done to me
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It all comes down to the human factor.Dont trust anyone.Nobody really wants to help and very seldom do you find anyone good at their job.I am finding myself repeating myself and having to explain everything.But its such a complex situation and I think you just wouldn't believe how dark things are.There are golden handshakes even in the world of child custody situations.when people's reputations are on the line and law firms.A single mum means absolutely nothing at that time.Its all about point scoring.
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Oh jane I'm so sorry I totally understand had similar situation and it made me so guarded and extremely paranoid it's a very lonely scary place to be but do not be fearful to complain it's your basic human rights under no circumstances should your time with your therapist be discussed outside that room I know what it feels like when you feel everyones judging you it can become very impacting as all you want us the best we can all tell how much you love your son so so much don't cut off from yourself you need support your important oh my love I have been there with Social Services so totally get how intrusive they can be I wish I fought them fear held me back you are one person you love your son it does get better ❤️ big big hugs
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Me also with ex husband lies was pretty horrific what he was accusing me of did same went to all neighbours stating I was a bad mum used my mental health against me but like you he broke me but I got back up my love for my daughter made me endure many painful situations many cruel horrible people like you said just a job to them but its our lifes it sometimes seems endless and throw into the mix a teenager son hormones as a mum you can see all the danger signs with this girl he's met and want to protect him it's a hard age but jane don't let anyone ever take away your soul as I said you love your son it's a simple as that dont torment yourself you are giving everything you have and it is good enough this is a new chapter when your kids meet thier first crush it's hard really hard but noting to do with your parenting
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