Getting the words right
Apologies if there's something about this in a forum already. I didn't find anything in a search.
I never want to inadvertently offend anyone but I can't always keep up with changes. When I was working we used to have the latest wording (not just for disabilities) drilled into us and got it wrong at our peril.
My Dad said he was diabetic and would've scoffed at 'living with diabetes'. Although wording can be important I think context and intention matter more.
I've got a neurological disability (amongst other things) and saying I'm living with a neurological disability seems OTT and doesn't make it go away.
Tell me what the latest way to say someone is living with [fill-in the condition] without offending people.
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I get so tired from the constant chatter and discussions of PC ideas, and I often feel like saying I've got a condition called None of Your Business. 😆
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@StarryEyed Well, that got a big smile out of me.
I wouldn't mind the wording thing so much if everything didn't change every other day.
I really have to dare to say "'I've got a condition called None of Your Business" next time someone I don't know asks me why I wear a mask. I have to admit I'm often tempted to say something much worse😂
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It's essentially a personal choice which term we prefer.
Unless you're being obviously rude I don't think it's fair for people to object to what are, after all, just words.
Realistically, there are too many to list.
If we're reasonable about it and willing to call people whatever they like, I can't see the problem.
Good luck
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I really don't mind what I get called or how it's referred as long as offence isn't intended! Everyone is different too and it's impossible to please everyone! I go with what feels natural to say/type and hope people know I never mean offence!! ❤️
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I am always worried that people who take a fence with me will come back and take a gate
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Oh dear……😂
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They would be 'picket' on you, and you could report them.
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Hello Delphi,
I have a neurological condition, this time last year i was diagnosed with PPPD, after having balance and dizziness problems on and off for over 20 years. I do understand what you are talking about, i've found it hard to talk to family and friends about it, and other conditions i have, it's not easy to find a way sometimes, i get frustrated but then have to understand it's not their fault as well!!
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Glad to hear that after all that times you have a diagnosis. I hope you've got a helpful treatment.
I completely agree with you that it isn't their fault. With family, to be honest, nobody really mentions it now. I avoid telling acquaintances that I have trigeminal neuralgia as people seem to immediately relate to it in terms of "oh yes, I've had a spot of neuralgia" and they have no understanding of the level of pain or that taking a couple of tablets of any pain medication is no help at all.
Before medical retirement (no job now but didn't jump the right hoops to qualify for medical pension) I felt work colleagues thought I was a fraud (like I would give up work and struggle for money on purpose). Oops! Sorry, I'm starting to rant. 🙄 Anyway now I'll use one of the alternative names for the condition, nobody will understand but they also don't misconstrue.
Most of my other conditions are well-known enough for people to understand.
[https://www.ninds.nih.gov/health-information/disorders/trigeminal-neuralgia]
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Thank you.
I think they got so rabid about terminology in my last few years at work that I'm now paranoid about getting something wrong and upsetting someone.
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🤣 Well we wouldn't want that. I just had a new gate and bit of fencing done and I couldn't afford to do that again.
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Fencing doesn't come cheap, just ask Errol Flynn. 😉
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I always found that political correctness is simply discrimination and elitism on a higher level
Often, advocates of political correctness are simply using it in an attempt to prove that they are more virtuous than others; the disadvantaged group they are claiming to defend are nothing more than ammunition
It's a playing field where to be accepted you always need to be up to date and one step ahead of others, and it attempts to exclude as many people as possible for minor perceived infractions… thus fulfilling the definition of both discriminative and elitist
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Hello Delphi and welcome to our forum 😍
Thank you for asking. Words DO matter, especially to women!!
I'm autistic (have autism). I don't have a choice about living with it! I don't live with blue eyes; I am blue-eyed or have blue eyes. I don't live with autism; it is inseparable from me.
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This is a really interesting discussion @Delphi, thank you for posting it!
I feel the same @Biblioklept, I think as long as the person means well and there is no malice or ill intention behind then I don't mind what I'm called and how my disability is referred as.
I do refer to myself as "disabled" rather than a "have a disability" because to me, my disability is not something I can pick up and put down if that makes sense so I don't "have" it one minute and and then the next I don't! But it doesn't bother me l if other people refer to me as having a disability rather than disabled.
Ahahaha that made me laugh @michael57 🤣🤣🤣3 -
My main concern is how I should address other people. I probably mix it up when referring to my disability. I might say I'm disabled and another time I might say I have invisible disabilities…just whatever comes out without me thinking really!
However, I don't want to upset others with disabilities through clumsy wording. That said, I am reassured by people on the forum. It seems, like me, most don't mind how people refer to their disabilities as long as the intention is good.
My concern stems from the workplace. We frequently had compulsory course where we'd be told what to say and how to word most things in the Equalities Act (2010) and other things. It just got oppressive and more demanding until you felt you couldn't have an opinion and it was easier to avoid talking! Although I can't work now I still have this hangover of worrying about saying the wrong thing.
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Thank you for the welcome. The forum is a really good place, I wish I'd found it earlier.
I agree with you. My husband also said something similar about 'living with' diabetes. He just has it and obviously he's living or they wouldn't be talking to him!
I just get in a tangle with wording sometimes as I have quite a logical approach to things which sometimes doesn't take into account how people might feel about what I say. When I was in primary (maybe even secondary) school I never got why it wasn't okay to say something even if it was true. I've improved a lot but it took a very long time.😁
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Goodness, that rings true. It is virtue signalling. That explains why the issue of being told what to say arose at work where it was all about ladder-climbing. Although I'd have been very happy to earn more (that's a ship that's sailed) I wasn't interested in walking over others to advance. Management never interested me and nor did belonging to an elite group.
I'd have loved to have sat in a meeting with what you have written here and asked those ladder climbers if they didn't just find political correctness to be "discrimination and elitism on a higher level". Their faces would have been a picture.
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