Hi, my name is Oz0101!

Oz0101
Oz0101 Online Community Member Posts: 3 Listener
in Start here and say hello!

Hello , I am new to this and need some help and advice I am currently in a situation where i need help i am going through domestic abuse issues , financial abuse, and coercive control By my wife and her adult children(my stepchildren) I am disabled and 58 years old with motability problems and PTSD and have to use crutches and grab rails to get about I been confined to my Bedroom and upstairs toilet for the last eight years more or less as the have isolated me, and intimidated me, and prevented me from accessing the rest of the home. Because of my disabilities, I have planned an escape with the help of my own children in a few months " why a few months you ask " this is when my wife and step-children go away on holiday for four days . and its the only time where i am not been watched and controled , as she monitors my phone and checks it everyday , I have to use a alias name on here so she wont find out that i am on here

What help can i get and what benfits will i be able to claim when i get out of this hell , I know i will have to go into homeless accommodation to start i just need to know where i go from their

thank you for your time

Oz0101

Comments

  • Santosha12
    Santosha12 Online Community Member Posts: 4,133 Championing
    edited February 19
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/144107/hi-my-name-is-oz0101

    I'm so sorry for what you've been going through. Hopefully somebody will come along and advise you regarding benefits.

    It sounds like (and I appreciate) you can't make calls. A couple of numbers for you if you need help sooner that - you could give your children to ring on your behalf maybe - are: National Domestic Abuse Helpline 0808 2000 247 (open 24/7) and Respect Men's Advice Line 0808 8010 327 (Mon to Fri 10am to 5pm).

    If you need help in a violent situation and have your 'phone, you can ring 999 - stay on the 'phone if you can't speak and cough or tap your 'phone, they should tell you to press 55 and they'll know you need help. They can't always locate where you are though so would need to tell them.

    I really hope you can get help soon.

  • Mary_Scope
    Mary_Scope Posts: 4,394 Scope Online Community Children and Family Specialists

    Hi @Oz0101 and a warm welcome to the community from me!

    I'm very sorry to hear about your situation, of you are in immediate danger please contact emergency services by calling 999.

    For confidential support and advice, you can reach out to the National Domestic Abuse Helpline at 0808 2000 24/7 as they can assist you in planning your escape and provide information on safe accommodation. There is also ManKind Initiative who support men who are facing domestic abuse.

    As MW said, you may be eligible for benefits such as Personal Independence Payment (PIP), Universal Credit and Housing Benefit etc. Somebody at Citizens Advice should be able to go through this with you or a trained welfare adviser.

    A member of the team is going to pop you an email soon, please keep an eye out of it

  • Community_Scope
    Community_Scope Posts: 2,208 Scope Online Community Coordinator

    We understand your concerns @MW123.

    We won't send an email over at this time @Oz0101 but please reach out to the links in this discussion and please don't be afraid to let us know how you are and if there's anything we can do to support you

  • Oz0101
    Oz0101 Online Community Member Posts: 3 Listener
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1102952#Comment_1102952

    Thank you so much for your advice it means a lot to me as some people dont belive that it can happen to men as well.

    I can't do anything on my phone yet as it's checked every few hours and I have to wipe my history on my laptop straight after use so i can;t be tracked it;s horrible having to do things this way but its the only way i can get advice , But i will need someone's help when i get to south yorkshire in June , I have been given a lot of advice by citizens advice online as its the only way i can speak to anyone the said i need to get a support worker to help with all my paperwork ??? how will i get one of these is my next question any advice would be helpful

  • Oz0101
    Oz0101 Online Community Member Posts: 3 Listener

    again thank you to who has commented and thank you to @Santosha12 and @MW123

  • SmellyBin
    SmellyBin Online Community Member Posts: 438 Empowering

    I hope it is okay to say I am rooting for you and sending you positive vibes somehow through the universe - a sort of virtual hug…

  • Santosha12
    Santosha12 Online Community Member Posts: 4,133 Championing

    You are welcome Oz0101, it's no trouble.

    The Respect Men's Advice Line (0808 8010 327) have an online facility/web support, but it's only from 9am to 10am Mon to Fri. They could help signpost you to support when you're ready. Their website is www.mensadviceline.org.uk and you can access the web support from their website.

    I'm sorry but the National Domestic Abuse line I gave above is mainly funded for women and children and they signpost you to Mens Advice line but with an incorrect number that takes you to Gallup (LGBQT).

    If we can do anything else to help you please come back on, as and when you can. Please take care.

    PS The www.refuge.org.uk also have guides on keeping your technology safe in your situation.

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