The Mental Health Toll Of Some Inaccessible Disability Services

I know it was not something I created. I already stated in my post that my situation was a result of the service’s failure to provide neuro-affirming preparation. So, they are clearly responsible for my problem.

It is a definitely a pattern. I have also experienced inaccessibility at places like at university. I was expected to manage my time and communicate in writing in the same way as other students. My differences in these skills were viewed as difficulties that many students had which can be overcome with support rather than permanent neurological differences that need accommodating. It is only natural that my mind is trying to protect me from further system failures I have had to experience.

The service’s actions is continuing to significantly impact my well-being. I have been feeling resentment towards them, as my family and I have been left to resolve a crisis we did not cause.

I am not looking for toxic positivity or to be told how I should feel. Please do not redirect me to focus on my strengths. I just want my experience to be validated and acknowledged.

Hello all,

I have been struggling to cope with living without a fridge, cooker, and wardrobe. It has been continuing to impact my mental health. I have to be thinking how I am going to eat breakfast and the cost of getting a taxi to my parents if I were going to eat it there. I have been thinking about how I have to go out whenever I need lunch because I cannot store it anywhere and the expenses of having to buy unhealthy foods. It feels like there is no progression with getting the missing items. It feels like we are not getting anywhere even though I have made my decision.

My new housing provider’s wellbeing and tenancy officer found a service that supports with white goods but you have to fill out an application. I told that her that I appreciate her sending me the service as an option but I do not think I will apply through them at this time and will stick to my original plan since I need the household items urgently.

I updated my mum and dad about the grant. My mum asked me if I have asked the officer how soon I would get the items and it could save me some money. My dad asked me if I heard anything from the officer and I said I did and passed on the same update to him. I expressed that I do not want to be filling out the form and he said to me but it will save me money. I thought they both prioritised saving money over the impact of my living situation. He did not consider that I am not going to feel like doing extra work to get the furniture when I have been struggling to live with the lack of furniture and working hard already to solve it. My financial well-being seems to be treated as more important than the impact a further delay has on my mental health.

When I updated my mum about the timeline for the grant, she said that is long and that it is up to me if I want to spend some of my savings and buy the items required myself or buy the more urgent ones like cooker and fridge/ freezer and wait for two weeks for the other item. She also said it is worth a thought.

Hearing that it is up to me shifts the previous housing privider’s responsibility onto me. It removes accountability from the service and ignores the fact that I should not be fixing their failures. It suggests that the missing items are now a choice I am making rather than as a result of the housing provider’s failure to provide neuro-affirming preparation for my move. It makes me feel betrayed and blamed for their failure. The comment it is up to me can feel cold and dismissive of the complexity of a decision. It also feels isolating when imagining that others will also say the same thing. I have also been thinking about how people will say it is up to you but criticise you for the decision you have made afterwards.

I have been having thoughts that others particularly former friend telling me to calm down and smiling amongst themselves, confirming my blame, and making me feel invalidated, small, more isolated. I have been anticipating others focusing on my parents perspective and ignoring mine. So, I have been feeling invisible, unimportant, and invalidated.

I have been anticipating others telling me that I am not acknowledging that my parents are concerned about my financial well-being, even though I have worked hard to. Society often views parents as the objective, rational parties and children (even young adults) as difficult or emotional. This can feel subordinating and condescending as it creates a power imbalance where my lived experience is treated as less valid than their financial advice.