Is it appropriate for female College staff to call a 50 year old "darling"?
Personally I don't think it is, even though it is very flattering.
What do you reckon?
Comments
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I think that some people naturally use terms of endearment without thinking, so while it may not be everyone's cup of tea I don't think most people mean anything by it. However, sometimes if you're in a professional setting it might not feel as appropriate as somewhere more casual. Lots of workplaces ask staff to avoid using them.
I find when I'm up north of the country I get much more terms of endearment from strangers than when I'm down south. My partner got called a 'bonnie lad' while ordering a sausage roll when we were visiting Northumberland. He's never been called 'bonnie' before so he was very excited about it 😂
Did it make you feel uncomfortable?
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Not really, I just don't think it was apt, especially when the College lady sounded rather young.
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I think it is personal preference… if it makes you uncomfortable then you may reserve the use of “darling” for a special person.. whereas some are happy to call everyone darling… I have heard some people reply to it.. “I’m not your darling” .. so you are not alone.. Maybe, if it was a one off you can let it be. Someone you engage with regularly may need to be told it is something you don’t appreciate.
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Hi @SheffieldMan1976 It is not something I would like, but if it is a one off to put you at your ease, I would just let it go.
As other members have said it might just be how she talks. Everyone is different.
Take care.
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I use terms like “darling,” “sweetheart,” “petal,” “flower,” and “pet” quite often, and I mean them in a purely platonic, friendly way. However, over the past few years I’ve made a conscious effort to cut back, as I’ve realised that more and more people seem to be uncomfortable with being addressed that way in conversation.
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I wouldn't personally mind it.
It is down to how you feel.
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I had a female colleague who used to pinch my bottom, and I loved it. ☺️
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That's your choice but to me, it'd be the height of inappropriate workplace behaviour.
Some people've got done for sexual harrassment for less.
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It shouldn't offend anyone, if you live where I live, they call you love or duck and no offence is taken. Mostly Londoner's are offended with these terms more than any other part of the country.
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To be fair, I used to live with a ton of Londoners who thought anywhere North of the M4 was in another world.
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It's no difference to stranger man calling me mate or buddy or a strange woman calling me sweetheart or darling … it's a non matter to me, as it's a freedom of expression
I'm more concerned that we're getting to the stage where we can't say anything without fear of the risk of offending someone … or worse, someone being offended for someone else
Call me whatever you want … I've answered to most names …
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Hi everyone. Just a little reminder to please keep it friendly and respectful to one another please.
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We appreciate this is a topic that can evoke many different views but want the discussion to remain respectful and friendly. We have removed several comments to try and help diffuse tensions. We do want the discussion to continue, but may have to close it if it doesn't remain respectful to one another.
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As long as everyone is OK with it, a wee bit of workplace flirting is harmless fun. I should perhaps have mentioned in my first post, that this was in the 1990s.
I'll tell you what, that 6 month temporary contract (my only experience of an office environment), it was the best of times; me and a whole floor of women. 😍
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I've got broad shoulders, I'm just curious as to what was said to me😀
Just to point out … no offence was meant and I'm sorry if any was taken @SheffieldMan1976 but opinions will always differ with everyone, and I guess that can differ greatly with life experiences etc
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I can only imagine how this would go down now 😅
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That's precisely how I use it, in the same way people use 'mate' or 'buddy' even when they're strangers.
I've certainly answered to much worse 😄
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I'm a psychologists nightmare … over thinking and I've given this some thought.
I guess it depends on life experiences and social experiences … how some could find it inappropriate, even patronising to a degree. We're all different. When I was younger I guess I had cases of sexual harassment/ assault legally, against women but in my eyes it was banter, it was what people did … whereas others wouldn't see it that way. Especially in this day and age
Don't get me wrong, unwanted contact is not right at all, and should be stamped on. Lord knows I'm a survivor of trauma
Words hmmm … I've been called a sheep botherer (different word) more times than I can remember, more often than not, in an insulting aggressive way … I had 2 choices, treat it as a race crime or laugh at them
… terms of endearment, I guess it's down to individuals in what context they want to take them. Call me whatever you want … pat my bald head … we've got problems 😙
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