Why does my mom lecture me

dancerxoxo96
dancerxoxo96 Community Member Posts: 25 Listener
edited May 5 in Relationships

She said no normal girl does what you are doing hooking up with random guys you got to have sex with someone you are in a relationship with. She said it’s “wrong” to hook up with random guys and yells at me about it. Is she wrong for lecturing me this much and is she right or wrong? I am 30 and still living with me and on the autism spectrum. Does me being autistic have something to do with this lecture or her morals? Why does she think it’s wrong for me to act this way?

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  • madchris55
    madchris55 Community Member Posts: 71 Contributor

    It your life and you lead to the way you want to but my mum hate all my x girlfriend and all way shouting at me but they just worry about us don't want to make mistakes but they got to rember that how we all learn and as long your safe that all that matters just be yourself but I wouldn't tell your mum much if she like that just tell stuff that matters and that only she needs to know but all way rember in her own way she showing you love but in the wrong way cos she care and love you for you ok keep strong be happy and safe Chris

  • Bluebell21
    Bluebell21 Community Member Posts: 3,308 Championing

    Hi @dancerxoxo96 I would question why you would want to hook up with random guys for sex. Have you done this before or is it something you are thinking of doing?

    Have you thought of the safety aspect of this and what you might catch from doing this?

    I agree with your mother.

  • ColonelBlink
    ColonelBlink Community Member Posts: 792 Pioneering

    Been there too many times in my late teens and early 20s, a thoroughly unpleasant experience the next day. As a young woman, I imagine it would be worse, and then there is the safety aspect.

    Listen to your mum on this one, as Chlamydia and Gonorrhoea are no joke. Not to mention the dreadful ones like Syphilis and HIV.

  • Kimi87
    Kimi87 Community Member Posts: 8,727 Championing

    I think some of the replies are very judgemental.

    It's normal to desire sex especially when young.

    Some people are happy without sex. Some people are unhappy without sex. Both of those are absolutely fine!

    Sex shouldn't be only for people in committed relationships. Single people deserve sex too.

    At 39 I've been celibate for almost a year and it's awful, I'm at an age when my body is very good at reminding me my fertility is declining!

    My Mum used to tell me only have sex with someone I love. I felt guilt for years for desiring sex as I wasn't in a relationship, until I realised

    A) She was completely wrong

    B) She'd had numerous boyfriends when young and I doubt she loved them all!

    Having said all that you do need to consider contraception for yourself and always have the guy use a condom. Or condoms by themselves though I prefer not to rely on one method.

    And only have sex in situations where you feel safe. You should test for STI's regularly, the recommendation is every three months. Your local area will have a free service, or you can go to a private provider.

    I'd refuse point blank to discuss anything sex related with your Mum. If she starts on the subject, walk away and don't engage with her. Let her words go in one ear and out the other.

  • ColonelBlink
    ColonelBlink Community Member Posts: 792 Pioneering

    After 12 years of abstinence, it does get a little easier, but only a little. At least my mother's priest chose this life! 🙄

  • Andi66
    Andi66 Community Member Posts: 1,416 Championing

    My daughter doesn't confide with me about her ex as they are now boyfriends, she says I wouldn't understand. She talks to her friends. I tell her I'm here for her, but dont lecture her, shes 27. We both have autism and she has bpd. Her exs have treated her badly. Being a single mum I do I suppose want to make sure she's ok. But she just gets annoyed if I ask anything.

  • WhatThe
    WhatThe Community Member, Scope Member Posts: 5,711 Championing
    edited May 13
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/145978/why-does-my-mom-lecture-me

    She's not wrong to lecture you. Your mum's job is to protect you and while you live under her roof needing support, her rules count. The alternative is independent living.

    It's completely normal to want sex - especially mid-cycle - but that's not how to get a boyfriend. Being autistic means relationships are much more difficult for us but they all begin with friendship. Maybe talk to one of your friends or sisters about trying toys and find some new interests where you might meet new people.

  • SheffieldMan1976
    SheffieldMan1976 Posts: 1,897 Connected
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/145978/why-does-my-mom-lecture-me

    No, she's just being protective because your her Daughter, yeah possibly a bit over-protective but that's your Mum's right.

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