Yin Yang Kitty Therapy

I looove the name too!!! 😂 Aren't the names of all therapies so boring and serious and functional sounding?! Just these names can be enough to put one off signing up, let alone having hope of getting better. 😁

Looking forward to your thoughts. 👍🏼

Yes!!! Zactly the same for me! 😊 And there's no one that everyone likes. Absolutely no one. Never was anyone and probably never will be anyone.

I used to think accepting that was declaring peace. But I know what peaceful feels like, and it's never felt peaceful. Recently with (more) family drama, I came up with the idea that the acceptance is really a truce, rather than a declaration of peace. A truce is quite different than peace. But I'm okay with that. I think a truce is more realistic.

So acceptance can be a truce. It is not necessarily even a peaceful feeling. Would you describe your stance as a declaration of peace or a truce? On that note, here's one of my favourite songs by the Eagles, 'Peaceful, Easy Feeling'... 😊

Hi @Rachel_Scope

You're welcome 😊

Yes, I'm on a break from the part of the family that's problematic. Four months now. In the context of the language of our discussion here, it just occurred to me that this break isn't even a truce, but a cease-fire. 😁 When we get back together (planned over the next few weeks), I'll frame it as a truce. Yes, I do like the idea that a truce is temporary and flexible. I mean really isn't true peace always just a pie in the sky, because dynamics are always changing? So maybe a truce is the best any of us can really hope for.

Speaking about other angles of my life, I think a truce is a fair assessment all around, including between parts of myself. We all have parts of ourselves that are challenging. ((I totally can't see you as a tyrant! No! ❤️)) For me, trying to silence or deny those challenging parts has been both ineffective and counterproductive.

My tiny, little, eensie, weensie voice of protest as a child has grown stronger over the years, but I'm still so far off from healthy in being able to defend myself. But if I consider the destructive forces I've faced since forever, my voice is like a lion's roar. Because shouldn't what we're up against factor into the equation of our strength? I try to consider that when I fall apart in conflict, and accept that I'm doing my best. And accept everyone else is doing their best. We're all imperfect. We've all messed up. And we're all going to keep messing up. Somewhere in there is acceptance. And somewhere is defeat. A bit of both.

So to get into the darkness a little deeper and with guidance, I've been listening to dark poetry. Reading poetry is difficult for me because I can't focus and it often doesn't make sense. But in listening to well-read poetry, it makes more sense because of the voice giving more meaning to the words through tone, inflection, speed and the like. It's also more enjoyable for me to hear it read aloud rather than just reading it to myself. You can find lots of poetry readings on Insight timer (thanks again for the recommendation @SmellyBin 🙏😘), YouTube and Audible.

There can actually be much beauty in the darkness. Here's one I love, 'When I Die' by Pablo Neruda. I hope you like it too.

You read the book and have done IFS with your therapist?! Really? You're the only one I know to have done either, let alone both. I've been trying to get into it for about two years now, but I've been so busy getting adapted to my new physical disabilities that it keeps falling by the wayside. My suicidal part is getting stronger the more disabled I get, and I never considered that part in IFS. So this week I starting over on page one, with my suicidal part on-board.

By darkness I mean difficult thoughts, such as:

I want to kill myself.

I hate my life

I hate the world.

X person is a piece of pooh.

I will forever be doomed to suffering.

The pain is intolerable

I will never be able to put a viable life together.

By darkness I also mean difficult feelings, such as:

I feel worthless.

I feel stupid

I feel vulnerable.

I feel like a lost case.

I feel buried in shame.

Those are general examples to give you an idea of what I mean by darkness.

Internal family systems (IFS) looks into the darkness by looking at groups of thoughts and feelings that make up parts, or personalities. It's based on a model that, loosely speaking, we are all multiple personalities, and we can learn through this therapy how to get these personalities to get along with eachother.

I did parts work in the past that was very successful, so I'm hopeful with IFS.

Hopefully you find that helpful. 😊

Edit to add P.S. I'm rusty on my CBT training as to distinguishing thoughts from feelings, but that's the general idea

Gee shucks! Thank you for your kind words, @SmellyBin. My feelings are thankfully quite common, so that's why therapies really work for me, because therapies are made from and for common people. 😊 I love how we each have something special to bring to this forum and to this world. There are no two people alike, though we all share similarities. I love that apparent contradiction.

Thankfully I also have the opposites of the above thoughts and feelings, what we think of as the light. So that's where CBT comes in, to put them all together, then form what they call "balanced thoughts". I'm actually going to take a refresher in CBT to help with the IFS therapy. That's likely to be a powerful mix. 👍🏼💪🏼😊