Tips for interable relationship

Albaricoque
Albaricoque Community Member Posts: 1 Listener
edited June 12 in Relationships

Hi!
I am a woman with a severe disability. Ten years ago, I was very lucky to find a good man who loves me and with whom I share a life. He does not have a disability though and after ten years, some problems are starting to appear.

The main issue is that because of my disability, I cannot touch him, caress him or being as proactive in bed as a woman with no disability, and that lacking is having a strong weight for him. We came up with a solution: opening the relationship. The problem is that he does not seem fair for me to be with other people - men in particular - because there is nothing I’m lacking.

I don’t know how to manage this because from one side I want him to be happy and to experience life fully, but from the other side it feels like this is another price I have to pay for being disabled.

Comments

  • oldmanmarple
    oldmanmarple Community Member Posts: 54 Connected

    if the solution is not making both of you happy its not a solution at all

    if you are happy with it being open then it needs to be open, which means both of you getting to explore other people, open doesnt mean open only to one person

    sounds like he is wanting his cake and a sandwich on the side

    it is not the price for being disabled and dont let him make you think that way id never treat a woman i loved like that

  • Rosie_Scope
    Rosie_Scope Posts: 8,927 Online Community Team

    Hi @Albaricoque, welcome to the community. That sounds like a really tough situation but it's lovely to hear how much you want the best for each other. Do you feel comfortable explaining to him how it makes you feel, like you have done here?

    Please don't feel you have to agree to something you're not comfortable with just because you are disabled. Your needs are just as important as his in this situation and as oldmanmarple mentioned above, it's important to find a solution that you're both happy with.

    Have you ever sought any outside help with your relationship? I know it's not always an option as it can be expensive, but if you have the means, it may be worth looking into whether you could try some therapy sessions together to work out how each of you can get your needs met while keeping healthy boundaries in place. It may not be everyone's cup of tea but some find it helpful ☺️

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