Independent living not working out for me

CropRotation1172
CropRotation1172 Community Member Posts: 23 Connected

Sorry to bother you, and I don't want anyone to panic here, because I'm not suicidal as I post this but I have overdosed twice in a week.

I was moved into independent living almost 2 years ago. I was sectioned last year and all they did was check that I could make a meal. I could, because someone took me to the shop and back.

Where I am just now I have no cooking facilities, no hot water, no heating, no furniture. I have a bed and it's filthy. Why? Because being alone causes enormous levels of anxiety causes suicidal urges. No bedding. I can't be at ease here. I go from scared to suicidal and back again. I just cannot be on my own.

I suffer from dependent personality order. Being alone just isn't an option.

Not only that, I'm being harassed by my neighbour if I as much as open the door. She threatened to kill me twice and assaulted me four times last year. She follows me around the building and films me going in and out. It freaks me out.

But how do I get into somewhere shared where there is someone else in charge to make the final call on decisions? I can't handle it.

Comments

  • SheffieldMan1976
    SheffieldMan1976 Posts: 3,356 Connected

    @CropRotation1172 You should get the Plod involved as it's a threat to life and limb.

    If she's threatening your life, she should be arrested.

  • CropRotation1172
    CropRotation1172 Community Member Posts: 23 Connected

    When she did I started screaming and ran a mile in bare feet.

    Police picked me up and charged me with breach of the peace.

    Case was thrown out after solicitor hired a psych to meet with me.

  • CropRotation1172
    CropRotation1172 Community Member Posts: 23 Connected

    Meeting with Community Mental Health Team this week and allocated a Social Worker.

    I honestly don't know how people live on their own. Feel like I've been stripped of all self-belief and self-confidence.

    Unable to do the very basic jobs that I could always do when I lived with others. Don't get out of bed now.

    Fingers crossed there's some sort of solution out there. All I want is a bedroom and someone I can trust to tell me what to do. Get my life back.

  • Rachel_Scope
    Rachel_Scope Posts: 4,383 Online Community Team

    I'm glad to hear that you're meeting with CMHT and a social worker. How are you feeling about it?

    I'm so sorry that you're feeling so low. Did you receive our email that was sent last week?

  • SheffieldMan1976
    SheffieldMan1976 Posts: 3,356 Connected

    It would've been 20 years on Thursday since I moved into independent living via the local HA, for about the first 5 years it was great, and then they started making noises about me moving out, even though at the time, moving back in with my Parents full time wasn't (and still isn't) an option, especially now that Dad's got Alzheimer's… There was a ton of problems communicating with the staff, including some complete idiot keyworker called Paul who was always on annual leave.

    In the end, I gave notice last April in lieu of moving to another independent living place last May, ended up wishing I'd stayed where I was before, the staff were hopeless, I eventually told the manager to kiss my you know what and moved out last December after giving the required 30 days notice in November.

    And I've never had it better!