Independent living not working out for me

CropRotation1172
CropRotation1172 Community Member Posts: 24 Connected
in Housing and independent living

Sorry to bother you, and I don't want anyone to panic here, because I'm not suicidal as I post this but I have overdosed twice in a week.

I was moved into independent living almost 2 years ago. I was sectioned last year and all they did was check that I could make a meal. I could, because someone took me to the shop and back.

Where I am just now I have no cooking facilities, no hot water, no heating, no furniture. I have a bed and it's filthy. Why? Because being alone causes enormous levels of anxiety causes suicidal urges. No bedding. I can't be at ease here. I go from scared to suicidal and back again. I just cannot be on my own.

I suffer from dependent personality order. Being alone just isn't an option.

Not only that, I'm being harassed by my neighbour if I as much as open the door. She threatened to kill me twice and assaulted me four times last year. She follows me around the building and films me going in and out. It freaks me out.

But how do I get into somewhere shared where there is someone else in charge to make the final call on decisions? I can't handle it.

Comments

  • CropRotation1172
    CropRotation1172 Community Member Posts: 24 Connected
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1140720#Comment_1140720

    When she did I started screaming and ran a mile in bare feet.

    Police picked me up and charged me with breach of the peace.

    Case was thrown out after solicitor hired a psych to meet with me.

  • CropRotation1172
    CropRotation1172 Community Member Posts: 24 Connected

    Meeting with Community Mental Health Team this week and allocated a Social Worker.

    I honestly don't know how people live on their own. Feel like I've been stripped of all self-belief and self-confidence.

    Unable to do the very basic jobs that I could always do when I lived with others. Don't get out of bed now.

    Fingers crossed there's some sort of solution out there. All I want is a bedroom and someone I can trust to tell me what to do. Get my life back.

  • Rachel_Scope
    Rachel_Scope Posts: 4,846 Online Community Team

    I'm glad to hear that you're meeting with CMHT and a social worker. How are you feeling about it?

    I'm so sorry that you're feeling so low. Did you receive our email that was sent last week?

  • CropRotation1172
    CropRotation1172 Community Member Posts: 24 Connected

    Hi there,

    I got some sort of answer, but I don't think it's one that'll work.

    They offered to move me from Independent Living to Sheltered Housing, and my problem is the off-the-scale levels of anxiety that I suffer from due to living alone.

    I'm in here with all my belongings in boxes. No gas, no food, no heating. Stomach feels like it's being wrung out. Can't shop or cook for myself.

    Move me from here to Sheltered Housing and it'll just be the same thing.

    I've never been alone before. I've had a carer all my life and I just can't do it without.

  • surfygoose
    surfygoose Community Member Posts: 552 Empowering

    Do you think a shared house might be better, like a supported living?

  • ChrisR777
    ChrisR777 Community Member Posts: 1,887 Championing
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1143468#Comment_1143468

    Have you never heard of a chanty?

  • Bluebell21
    Bluebell21 Community Member Posts: 5,970 Championing
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1143468#Comment_1143468

    What did you study in your student years? On another thread you have said you only have a couple of GCSE's and no A levels.

  • ChrisR777
    ChrisR777 Community Member Posts: 1,887 Championing
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1143542#Comment_1143542

    So you have more than just a couple of GCSEs then? I suppose they will be irrelevant by now, just like most of what any of us gained from school ( precious little in my case 🙄).

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