How do you cope with feeling lonely?

Fuzzy200
Fuzzy200 Community Member Posts: 54 Empowering
in Everyday life

I must admit I feel so lonely these days. I am lucky that I am married and have a teenage daughter. Up until 2 years ago I worked in a job that i enjoyed and I had been in for over 20 years. It involved lots of shift work and it was pretty much my life. Unfortunately my health has deteriorated and I have had to take early retirement. I am in my late 50s but literally have no friends. It didn't matter whilst I was working as I always had people to chat to at work. The few people I knew were mainly on Facebook and Unfortunately my account was hacked and I have start from scratch and there isn't any easy way to refriend them. I just miss the option to talk to someone on the phone or meet up for a chat , just for someone to ask how's your day going? My daughter is starting to get a life of her own and my wife does have a few friends who she goes out for coffee. Does anyone else feel this way? How do you cope?

Comments

  • Mary_Scope
    Mary_Scope Posts: 6,181 Scope Online Community Children and Family Specialists

    It's very common to feel like this @Fuzzy200, especially after leaving a job you've been at for a long time when so much of your social life and daily routine was based around it so you're not alone in how you're feeling. It's very understandable why you're feeling lonely.

    How do you feel about low pressure community activities if you're feeling up to it?

    These could be things like community hubs, library groups, peer support groups or maybe even light volunteering if your health allows? These can be some great options where you can just drop in and take things at your own speed as well as meet and interact with new people.

    What kind of hobbies or interests did you enjoy before or are there any new ones you've been curious to try?

    There is also a Befriending Directory where you can put your postcode in and relevant services local to you should come up. AgeUK also have face to face and digital friendship services for older people that may be worth exploring too😊

  • figraspberry41
    figraspberry41 Scope Member Posts: 197 Empowering

    #Fuzzy200,

    Hi Fuzzy 200. I also was manoeuvred into retiring early at the time for other reason's than mobility, although I have some mobility issues now. I am also of retirement age but had to manage for four years entirely with my Pension Pot. I can understand, I think about the loneliness as I went through a period of feeling that way even if I couldn't admit it at the time. Mary has made a few sound suggestions of which she mentioned volunteering. I do some volunteering at a couple of places, I help out at a Lunch and Social Club once a fortnight and the other day I help at a Church Cafe. At both places, I can do as much as my mobility enables me and it is away of getting out for a while at least meeting new people.

    Might I suggest that you can also (probably) talk to your local Health and Social Care Co-ordinator (via your GP practice) who also may be able to put you in touch with local clubs, groups that you may be able to try out. Hopefully, they can find things that may interest you and will meet your personal needs and abilities. Hope this is helpful.

  • SmellyBin
    SmellyBin Community Member Posts: 746 Empowering

    Hi Fuzzy, loneliness is indeed a sad part of being ill, at least for me as well as many others. Perhaps in some cases it can be helped to be a part of a new network or system as people already suggested.

    For those that are housebound and/or have low energies to deal with, or something else that makes it hard to be around people it is a blessing to be living in the digital era - I am really glad to have found Scope and to have a chat about both serious and funny things, and everything in between.

    Isolation is something that cannot always be fixed if you ask me, just as many other things in life are just what they are. Not a reflection on anything, just similar to not being able to control the rain.
    But it might help to find distraction and focus on things that you do like or find fulfilment with, perhaps hobbies, pets. And we've started a book club not long ago here on the forum.

    Us humans are social creatures, it is a vital part of our lives.

  • Dynamisante
    Dynamisante Community Member Posts: 241 Contributor

    Hey you, I agree with what everyone has said in reply to your post, it’s me, myself and I from here on in, but to be honest once I got used to it it’s the way I prefer, no one to answer to, no feelings of guilt, not doing anything you don’t want to do because of others, I can play ed Sheeran loud and have a disco in my kitchen for 1, I can enjoy the absolute silence when I choose to, I can stay in bed all day if I can’t manage anything without being kept on to, at the end of the day I feel I’ve lived my life the best I could, I did the best I could, now it’s my time to be all about what I want until my time comes ……

  • Epistle_Rich
    Epistle_Rich Community Member Posts: 37 Connected

    Read!

    Solitary though the activity is, it can really make you feel seen / understood.

    Knowing that people all over the world and all throughout history have had experiences and outlooks like (and unlike) yours, and have effectively shared these through literature, can really make you feel more connected to the rest of humanity, even in their absense 🫂🌐📖

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