What support can we get for our nephew with special needs?

Hi @Andmount

I am sorry to hear of the loss that your family has experienced. Your sister-in-laws death is so recent that your brother is still probably still reeling and it wouldn't be unusual if, at this early stage, he wasn't at all sure what it is the he needs.

Just knowing that you are their for him may be all he needs at the moment. Do reassure him of that and don't be afraid to ask him what he needs from you. The charity Cruse Bereavement Care publish information about supporting people through the grief process: 

https://www.cruse.org.uk/about-bereavement/how-to-help

I know that you said your nephew has a limited understanding of what is happening but there have been studies that demonstrate that people with learning disabilities can benefit from specialist bereavement care. Here is a link to some resources that may be of interest: 

http://www.bild.org.uk/resources/ageingwell/endoflifecare/

If your brother has indicated that he wishes you to support him with sorting out practical matters related to your nephew then you may wish to advise that he  request that the local authority conduct an urgent assessment of your nephews care needs and of his needs as a carer.

The assessment may identify what support needs there are and how they can be addressed. So for example it might offers things like respite care to give your brother a break or the provision of some additional professional care in the home. If you are going to be more 'hands-on' with you nephews needs perhaps you might need some training on lifting techniques, etc.

At a very practical level the death of a spouse often causes financial hardship. If financial matters are a concern for your brother it could be that worth suggesting that he use the Scope benefit calculator to see if there is anything he could claim. 

https://www.scope.org.uk/support/disabled-people/benefits/check 

Making sure that your brother is aware of potential sources of emotional support, such as Cruse, may be valuable for him.

Finally, I just want to say that supporting people through dealing with the death of a loved one can often be challenging for those providing the support. Especially as if often takes a very long time to establish some sort of 'new normal' that feels sustainable in the long term, so please, do take care of your own physical and emotional well-being through this difficult time.

Best Wishes

Jean