can u still parent with a disability — Scope | Disability forum

can u still parent with a disability

Jasonbgford
Jasonbgford Member Posts: 2 Listener
I have a disability can u still parent with a disability 

Comments

  • JennysDad
    JennysDad Member Posts: 2,299 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi Jason (I'm guessing) @Jasonbgford
    People parent, and parent very well, with all kinds of disabilities. Can I ask what your reasons might be for asking?
    Your friend - if you'll have him
    Richard
  • Jasonbgford
    Jasonbgford Member Posts: 2 Listener
    Just enquireing because Me n my wife have disabilities n with us having disabilities with av been told you won't be able to do it with your disabilities ie put down by people 
  • Sam_Alumni
    Sam_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,682 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @Jasonbgford
    Welcome to the community, it may mean that you need a little extra support but lots of parents need extra support whether they are disabled or non-disabled! 

    Do you have physical or mental impairments?  Sometimes disabled parents have the involvement of social services, that might sounds scary but it is just about ensuring that you as a family get all the support you need.

    Lots of parents have physical impairments and sometimes they need to figure out different ways of doing things, but it doesnt stop them parenting.

    We have lots of guest posts by disabled parents you might like to look at.

    Being a mummy with ME by @alulabelle3
    Who cares when a parent is disabled by @mossycow
    One handed ways by @GingerJaxx


    Scope
    Senior online community officer
  • mossycow
    mossycow Member Posts: 488 Pioneering
    Hi there, 

    I'd say this to any person thinking of having a child, and it's only my opinion as a Mum to Emily who is 10:

    No one is ever truly 'ready' to have a child. In some ways you never have enough money or time or energy, certainly you start off with no experience and no instruction book. 
    You are equal to every other potential parent on the planet! 

    I'd suggest you get as much of an idea of what to expect as possible. You have the trying to conceive part. Speaking as someone for whom sex is difficult, you may need help with that... Or you may find that part the fun and easy part! 

    Then pregnancy. I would think ypur gp would advise as to whether the person carrying your offspring would remain healthy during pregnancy. If not, maybe you'd need to look at how available other options are. It may mean changing medication, changes in mobility, as well as the difference it may mean to finances if there needs to be time off work. 

    Looking after a baby is hard. Perhaps find friends with babies... Read stuff  ask other parents lots of questions. Think practically but creatively! I could only breast feed while sat on my sofa with a special non slip banana cushion.... I got lots of advice from an infant feeding specialist. It was easier to breastfeed than to make bottles for me personally! But if I did it now I'd have to bottle feed due to medication. All is fine! 

    Can you think of ways to move baby around? In a sling on a wheelchair? In a buggy inside? Pulling along the floor in a drawer? All is fine. 

    Safety.... Could you grab your baby in the night and get them out? If not, it just means you need help, doesn't mean you can't parents. 

    Toddlers run round lots... But again there are ways of coping. 

    Older kids need getting to school, feeding.... 

    But most of all, the most important thing I think is communication. Can you speak or sign etc to ypur child? On my hardest days, I thank goodness I can talk. Cos really often she needs me to listen, talk and teach her. 

    And even more is love. LOVE is the biggest thing you will need for your child. And this is where disability is completely irrelevant. 

    As I said above, you never feel like you're totally ready... Cos it's massive and kids keep growing up and changing what they need! But as long as baby can be safe and have needs provided for by you (and any help) then yes! Disabled people make fantastic parents! 

    We understand hardship and are great at overcoming problems. 

    We don't become parents without really thinking about it. 

    We know the value of life and health and helping each other. 

    Just my thoughts. 

    What do you think? 
  • JennysDad
    JennysDad Member Posts: 2,299 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello again Jason @Jasonbgford. It is good to hear from you and I see you've found some great advice already. Don't pay attention to those people you mentioned who 'put you down'; it is for you to decide what you can and can't do, and on the basis of evidence, not according to the words of the small-minded.
    Warmest best wishes,
    Richard

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