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2 year old biting quad disabled child
gladys
Member Posts: 53 Courageous
Dear All
Love to get your advice. I have a 5 year old (quad dystonia of CP) and a very "lively" 2 year old. They share a room (no other option). The 2 year old has started to regularly bite the 5 year old on arms/chest etc. Clearly he cannot fight back and it really presses my buttons, and he often has teeth marks on him. I now put the 5 year old to bed after the 2 year old, so it doesn't happen in the evening time when 2 year old tired and emotional.
Has anyone had this ? Can you advise ? I've tried all the "no biting lessons to the 2 year old, nursery addressing it etc.
Very many thanks
Love to get your advice. I have a 5 year old (quad dystonia of CP) and a very "lively" 2 year old. They share a room (no other option). The 2 year old has started to regularly bite the 5 year old on arms/chest etc. Clearly he cannot fight back and it really presses my buttons, and he often has teeth marks on him. I now put the 5 year old to bed after the 2 year old, so it doesn't happen in the evening time when 2 year old tired and emotional.
Has anyone had this ? Can you advise ? I've tried all the "no biting lessons to the 2 year old, nursery addressing it etc.
Very many thanks
Replies
The Supernanny website said:
Experts advise parents to try and see biting as a way of communicating rather than just bad behaviour – once we do that, we’ve got more choices in how to respond.
Look at who they bite, when they bite and in what situations. And a tailor-made response will be more effective than a “one-size-fits-all” solution."
Check out the website for more hints and tips.
Senior online community officer
Super nanny advice is great , but it’s often doled out by theorists with no kids who don’t have endless weeks of sleepless nights ! 😁
Have you spoken to your Health Visitor at all? Being a sole parent and dealing with all this must be really tough on you, do you get any support?
Senior online community officer
I have a carer for my sons when I go back to work next week. But thats about it really. I get by though. Thanks for asking .....
Senior online community officer
Gently, but enough to discomfort and concern the child. As he has actually caused marks, he needs also to be asked to find out how hard he needs to bite his own arm, to make that happen.
Both mum and biter could make a joint check to reveal the brother has no marks, resulting in a threeway session of attention, particularly favouring the (hopefully,) E X biter.
This isn't brutality, it is considerate parenting of any biter. The habit needs to stop, in his own best interests. It will get him hated and excluded from schools and friendships.
It has helped that he is back at nursery after the summer holidays and up early in the morning as a result. At nighttime his elder brother gets introduced into the room later. I plan to ask nursery's advice as well, and get them to reinforce the "no biting" message there also. Maybe he'll grow out if it into his 3's ..... and not "get him hated and excluded from schools and friendships" - quite strong that !!
It was a shame, for them, to miss out.
They all lived in a friendly community where children played together in a playground in front of the houses, and all went to the school just down the road.
You are right though, it is probably something that will go away as your boy ages. Those brothers were unusually old to still be biting.........hmm .... their parents were both,....... wait for it .......child psychologists!
Senior online community officer
Sadly, biting is often something that has to be grown out of, but the less attention you can give him when he does it the better. Just remove him from the situation and turn your back, give lots of attention to your other child. Are you able to make time for just the two of you to have some mummy-son 'dates'? The more positive attention you can give him, hopefully the less he'll feel the need to bite. I don't personally think giving him a bite back will help - we can't try to teach our kids something is wrong and then do it to them - totally confuses the message!
Thats really useful advice thanks so much. Since I wrote that last post he seems to have abated a bit on the biting front which is good news. I have separated the kids at bedtime initially to try to prevent it, as well as other tactics. But all the things you say here are certainly very relevant and useful. Thank you so much , and I will definitely ask for your advice again if needed if you dont mind. Emma