Diagnosed with CPTSD

 Hi im sorry for the story book but I need to get some of this off ma chest. been going to the docs for years to no avail for headaches sore stomachs feeling down and many more things even had 1 doc tell me that I had to start caring about ma self ma answer was y theirs nothing to care about he showed me out his door. I asked for another doc and that I was never letting him near me again he's had horrible bed side manners that if I was ill and even if he was the on call doc and I had an emergency that I would rather walk the 3 miles to hospital than have him near me?. Now finally after all these years I had a doc who referred me to mental health and got diagnosed with cptsd I'm still waiting for a psychologist appointment I also have something else to do with my emotions ma psychiatrist said it's cause it was to do with ma trauma happing at a young age that I don't trust folks I don't even trust ma family so I keep them at arms length so I don't get hurt again and again it's easier for me to keep folks away from me than trust them i have a few folks that have clamedc that they broke ma wall down with no hassle but I don't tell them that they never even made a dent in it its a brick wall hiding the metal wall inside it. I'm tired of feeling like this I I'm tired all time I either sleep too much or don't sleep I wish ma headaches would go and never come back and the flash backs but so far still here and controlling ma life I want to start living it