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How to help.

AMY73AMY73 Member Posts: 1 Listener
My husband has Dementia and it can be very difficult living with him . I have been told not to dissagree with him But some times that makes it even more difficult as he wants his own way all the time . So how would I need to deal with this ?Anyhelp would be appreciated. Thank you 

Replies

  • Adrian_ScopeAdrian_Scope Testing team Posts: 7,968

    Scope community team

    edited May 2019
    Hi @AMY73, thank you for sharing this. I'm really sorry to hear how difficult it's proving.
    Have you been in contact with Dementia UK's helpline at all? You can ring them on 0800 888 6678 (Monday – Friday 9am – 9pm and Saturday – Sunday 9am – 5pm) and perhaps they might be able to advise you a bit.
    Senior Community Partner
    Scope
  • poppy123456poppy123456 Member Posts: 22,218 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi,

    My nan had dementia so i know exactly how you feel. You're right, it's very difficult to live with. I have to agree with the advice you were given, speaking from experience with my nan at first i used to disagree with things she used to say or i'd correct her if she was wrong....

    I soon found out that this was the worst thing i could do because she always seemed worse if i did this. In the end, i used to agree with what she said. If she told me stories of what she did during the day regarding her mother, i used to just agree with her and even ask her what she did., even though i knew it was impossible for this to have happened because her mother was no longer alive.

    She'd get my name wrong too but i overlooked that and used to just answer her anyway. It's extremely difficult and my heart goes out to you because i know just how difficult it is.

    May i ask if you receive any help with him? Any carers? family that help? It's difficult being alone and coping but you shouldn't be coping alone. You can request a needs assessment from your local council and a social worker will visit you both in your home to do the assessment. There could possibly be some help out there for you. https://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advice/practical-support/getting-care-and-support/needs-assessment

    I would also recommend ringing the helpline Adrian advised and they will give you further advice.

    Proud winner of the 2019 empowering others award. This award was given for supporting disabled people and their families for the benefit advice I have given to members here on the community.
  • April2018momApril2018mom Posts: 2,869 Member
    I would recommend contacting the local council for advice. They can do a needs assessment and support you. Can you afford to place her in a care home or not?
    Social services should also be able to help you cope. My grandmother has dementia eventually she was diagnosed and was sent to a good care home since they were unable to protect her safely at her apartment. I think my mom had to sell her apartment to help pay for her care. Dementia is one of the hardest disabilities you should not be caring for her alone. 
  • poppy123456poppy123456 Member Posts: 22,218 Disability Gamechanger
    Sadly my grandmother is no longer alive and hasn't been for 12 years, which is why i said "had" rather than "has"
    Proud winner of the 2019 empowering others award. This award was given for supporting disabled people and their families for the benefit advice I have given to members here on the community.
  • oliva087oliva087 Member Posts: 9 Listener
    Very sad news. At this moment, you have to take extra care of him. Go to the doctor for valuable advice.
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