What do you think of the word disabled?

Disabled

I hate that the word disabled is used to denote otherness. It's them not us. It always feels like I'm a them although I didn't feel I fit there either.

I hate that being 'other' means that I'm treated differently. When using my wheelchair everyone is soooo overly nice to me. Everyone is so sorry even when I'm in the wrong.  I'm a partial wheelchair user so the fact that there are times I can walk mean people have either experienced a modern day miracle or I'm faking. I'd be happy with either.  When my symptoms are less visible people don't care. I'm no less affected but they don't care or see me as not being slow or whatever adjective fits my symptoms that day.

I hate that the only disabled people who are worthy in the eyes of society are those achieving great things. The athletes winning medals for example. Please don't misunderstand, I think they're amazing and should be held in high esteem. They achieve wonderful things and they should recognised but for those of us who aren't able to achieve greatness we can be viewed as less or other by society.

So, back to the word disabled. Prior to becoming ill I didn't really experience the feelings of prejudice that some feel. I was lucky, I had good role models and my career meant that I didn't see people as other. I wasn't prejudiced about someones illness or disability or lack of. I cared about their morals and how they behaved toward me and the world. I then became ill and therefore disabled. I still held the same views toward others but I was so caught up in my former identity that I hid my difficulties and disabilities. I felt shame that I couldn't do what I needed and wanted to do and shame that I didn't in my opinion fit comfortably into either the disabled or able bodied world. I felt shame about my otherness. I hated the word disabled.

It took a long time but slowly my reading and viewing changed from fixing to living with. I started seeking out those who were living a life in a way I could relate to. I followed those who weren't prejudiced. The ones who had something important to say. The journey started.

I no longer hate the word disabled. I use it, although prefer to say I have a disability, well a few if it can be used that way.

I have decided that for me it is a little like other words that have been used to shame or make us feel less than. We shy away from them due to shame placed on us by others. They are no more shameful than describing an eye colour or foot size. Words have meanings placed up on them by society and it is therefore important for each of us to consider our own meanings to those words.

for me, my journey continues....