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Autism and a partner that goes on and on and on and,on

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WhileIBreathIHope
WhileIBreathIHope Posts: 216 Pioneering
edited November 2019 in Dating, sex, and relationships
Over a decade and two children later my partner in the last six to eight months has developed a nagging tendency that seems to ramp up the need to hysteria about an event in future.

like two days about Christmas where she was like a dog with a bone to point I threatened to volunteer somewhere over Christmas just to get away from the nagging.

Today it was about planning to see relatives at the weekend and I had 1.75 hours of it until I had to escape to the garage/ shed.

Any Ideas as she knows my diagnosis and  doesn’t seem to realise it won’t make me more likely to agree or participate.
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  • Roddy
    Roddy Community member Posts: 445 Pioneering
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    Hi @WhileIBreathIHope

    I'm sorry to learn that you're experiencing some problems within your relationship. I can relate to this as rarely is any relationship a complete bed of roses, and all of us do or say things to our loved ones which can quite often be taken out of context, or wind us-up to such an extent that it can anger us. 

    I have always believed that good levels of communication are vital within a relationship and in all peoples lives in general. 'Communication' is the key to all learning and progress as I'm sure you will agree. Many disabled people for example have communication disorders which if only could be resolved would very much indeed improve their lives for the better... In view of this, may I suggest that you perhaps 'express' your concerns to your partner at a time when She is not in the middle of speaking in the way that you say that She does.. Choose a time when YOU feel more relaxed with Her... It can also help at times, if you 'express' your concerns by writing a letter to YOURSELF... Make a list of the things that you feel can wind-you up, but don't think too much about them, and I'd wager that you will not be able to list more than 5 or 6... 

    Only the first 1, 2 or 3 will be the main issues which you find difficult and concerning, and so focus upon these 'in a nice friendly way' and then speak about them to your partner during a quiet moment with Her. You obviously both love each other very much, but none of us are mind readers. If either She or You have issues of concern, then it is for You or Her as the supporting & loving partner to express your concerns without any fear or malice... Openness and truthfulness are the keys to all successful relationships, and even more so with those that we Love. 

    You have told 'US' what She does that can get on your nerves... You owe it to Her now, to tell Her too, but in a caring, quiet and loving way, and then I'm sure She will listen and do all that She can to address it. 

    Please keep me posted and let me know how things are going, and never forget that you have a partner that Loves you... You just need to 'communicate' to Her, that's all.
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  • WhileIBreathIHope
    WhileIBreathIHope Posts: 216 Pioneering
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    She’s worried about how we can afford things, reckons every detail needs triple checking in case it goes wrong and we cannot afford it- we already can’t afford it so worrying serves no practical purpose.

    Me I’m hoping everything goes smoothly, we were ment to leave at 9:30am and still not left as motorway busy on google.

    feed the children and trundle on our way to relatives soon.


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