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I feel alone every day of my life

millie72millie72 Member Posts: 27 Courageous
Im 67yrs old, my mum died , and i had a break down , i have not left my house for 6yrs , i have shopping delivered  it,s the only time i see people,  or they are walking passed my house,  please come in and have a cuppa , i say to myself ,, as they walk in the distance,  i have my little dog millie, put she as just died, i had her 12 yrs, i feel alot better sharing it with the group i hope u don.t mind, it took a lot to writte it down,  xx
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Replies

  • mike62mike62 Member Posts: 34 Courageous
    Dear @millie72. I'm new to scope and noticed your post. I don't mind you you writing about your situation and I'm sure I speak for all others on this forum. Your mum and Millie have gone from your life within a short space of time and it can take a long time to get over the shock. You're brave to think of your words and type on the forum - well done. Maybe talking on this forum may help you. All the best for now. @Mike
  • WhileIBreathIHopeWhileIBreathIHope Member - under moderation Posts: 216 Pioneering
    Hello, my predicament was is different, however I prescribe to incremental change and by this I suggest one small improvement per day.
    I ended up housebound and a virtual prisoner in my own home attached to a toilet basically 24 hours a day- thankfully while not cured, I take great satisfaction in such mundane things as supermarket shopping and even little things as choosing what meals for dinner.

    Can I suggest that a normal sleeping routine and meals at set times.
    self hypnosis as simple as relaxing at bed time no caffeine before and as simple as eyes closed and imagine the waves coming in on a beach.

    Structure your day and make small achievements, this may sound crazy but if you want to do a small thing and struggle I used to count down from 45mins to zero in 15 min segments and get the task sorted with time to come to terms with what needed to be done.

    I wish you the best and success in small steps to final goal, I walk my dog with strategic toilet stops on the route, while not cured- the dog gets walked and I don’t get caught short.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Pioneering
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  • millie72millie72 Member Posts: 27 Courageous
    Bless u , your tex was so lovely to read , xx
  • millie72millie72 Member Posts: 27 Courageous
    Bless u all your very kind words, mean so much to me, thank u , i will start my day tomorrow , and try all of wot u have , said to help me , thanking u all very much ,xx
  • Adrian_ScopeAdrian_Scope Testing Team, Community Team Posts: 7,940 Scope community team
    Hi @millie72. Thank you so much for sharing all this with us. You sound like you're going through such a difficult time. I know you'll be missing Millie's companionship, but I hope you know that we'll all try to support you as best we can. If you need a lighthearted chat, or something to keep your mind off things, we do have our virtual coffee lounge here that you're more than welcome to check out.

    It sounds like you're struggling a bit with your mental health at the moment. Are you getting much support at all for this?
    Senior Community Partner
    Scope

    If you have a few minutes to spare, we'd appreciate your feedback on our online community.
  • April2018momApril2018mom Member - under moderation Posts: 2,882 Member - under moderation
    Hello @millie72. Welcome to Scope! Do you want to talk or not? I hope you are not offended by this but it might help you if you saw a therapist. 
  • millie72millie72 Member Posts: 27 Courageous
    Thank u for the tex,s, i was offered no suport, i am trying to deal with it myself , i have tried a few step,s out side , my legs go like jellie and i feel light headed , i was a very stronge person ,in mind and body ,before , mother,s passing , and millie,  i have no confidence, at all ,xx
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Pioneering
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  • AilsAils Community champion Posts: 2,268 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @millie72 and welcome to the Community.  It is nice to meet you and thank you for sharing with us.  I am so sorry to hear of your loss and can appreciate how much you must miss your mum and Millie.  You have been very courageous in writing your post and reaching out to us.  You have come to the right place for support and friendship as the Community is a very friendly place with many lovely people on it so please feel free to chat to us anytime.  @justdon has a very good idea above which maybe could help you and I hope you don't mind, but I have looked up AgeUk and they offer a befriending service where someone can either visit you at home for a cuppa and chat or there is a telephone befriending service available also.  Here is the website if you would like to take a look,

    https://www.ageuk.org.uk/services/befriending-services/

    Please be assured that you will receive all the help and support that you need on the Community so please just let us know if there is anything we can do for you.  I look forward to seeing you on here and hope you enjoy your time with us.  All the best.  :smile:
    Winner of the Scope New Volunteer Award 2019.   :)
  • Ami2301Ami2301 Community champion Posts: 7,137 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @millie72 and welcome to the community. I'm sorry to hear how you're feeling and what has happened. My first dog, her name was Millie too, died almost 3 years ago. She was like my little sister and I still miss her everyday. I wish I could say it gets easier as time goes by, but time is key. Take your time to grieve. Always here if you would like to talk :)
    Community Champion
    Disability Gamechanger - 2019
  • CressidaCressida Member Posts: 681 Pioneering
    @millie72 I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through. I hope you can find some comfort from the lovely posters on this site. X
  • thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger
    edited October 2019
    Hello @millie72   Pleased to meet you welcome to the forum.

    I am one of the team of community champions we guide, advise and help those who join the forum.

    Sorry to hear what you are going through right now. I know as a community you have come to the right place for support and information.

    Most of important of all friendship.

    You have done the right thing contacting our forum.  I live on my own my self and use this forum as a friend. Does help me through the days. Made many friends.

    I would suggest have you received any support for  your grief. I know it is never easy getting over the loss of loved ones. Any time is a difficult time and I do have compassion . Have care, concern for our members.

    I would advise there is an organisation called Cruse .

    This is a bereavement charity .

    https://www.cruse.org.uk.

    Helpline 0808 808 1677

    I do understand this may be difficult for you if you consider looking at some mental health support. This is something you might not be aware of. That there are charities who can advise and offer guidance with your anxiety or any other problems you have.

    I do understand also this might be a big step.  I am here to listen anytime and anything you wish to ask.

    I used this mental health charity.

    https://www.richmondfellowship.org.uk.

    Get help with an out reach or floating support could be beneficial to your well being and health.

    They would look at coping methods and strategies ways how you can deal with issues or problems you are dealing with.

    They might not be in all areas.

    So look at the MIND website informative and useful.  Is another suggestion.

    https://www.mind.org.uk.

    Please can add you made one important decision coming on to this forum. Discussing how you are and what you are going through. Never easy I know this myself.

    Hope this has helped.

    Always happy to be supportive.

    Please take care of your self.  Please keep in touch.

    @thespiceman






    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
    Recipes
  • thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @millie72   Please wish you all the best thank you for kind words. We are here anytime.

    I forget to add. This might be another one to look at.

    https://www.rethink.org.

    If you need an advocate to speak for you.  On your behalf.  Have a look on the website.  Hope that helps gives you some more reassurance.

    Charity is one that helps members of our community who having problems have mental health issues.  Those who need a voice and some support .

    If you need to speak to Doctors or medical professionals 

    I know having been there with Doctors.  

    Please take care.

    @thespiceman
    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
    Recipes
  • Chloe_ScopeChloe_Scope Scope Posts: 10,662 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @millie72 and a very warm welcome to the community! I am so glad others have been able to offer you some support and guidance as it sounds like things have been tough for you recently. 

    If you have any questions then please do let us know. I look forward to seeing you around. :)
    Community Partner
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  • millie72millie72 Member Posts: 27 Courageous
    Thank, u chloe,xx
  • Adrian_ScopeAdrian_Scope Testing Team, Community Team Posts: 7,940 Scope community team
    How are you doing today @millie72?
    Senior Community Partner
    Scope

    If you have a few minutes to spare, we'd appreciate your feedback on our online community.
  • Chloe_ScopeChloe_Scope Scope Posts: 10,662 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @millie72, I'm glad to hear you are not feeling too bad today. Great to have you here. :)
    Community Partner
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  • millie72millie72 Member Posts: 27 Courageous
    Thank u chloe, thank u for your support , xx
  • mike62mike62 Member Posts: 34 Courageous
    Good evening @millie72 glad you have had a chat with people and felt good to release some of your feelings. Reading the community has opened my eyes as to how many people are alone or struggling with pain and disability. 
    With people writing about it maybe some good ideas will come out of it.
    Hope you have a good evening today Millie.  6pm Thurs 24th. 
  • millie72millie72 Member Posts: 27 Courageous
    Bless u mike62, it loverly to read all the tex,s from loverly people like yourself,  i feel the lowest at night , when id care for mum, and then take millie for a walk ,, its been a routine for sometime , so i read all the loverly tex,s ,from people like yourself ,  it as helped me so much , thank u very much for caring ,x
  • chiariedschiarieds Community champion Posts: 6,896 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @millie72 - & welcome from me too to this very supportive community. Thank you so much for letting us know what you've been through & the immense difficulties this has caused. I hope some of the advice you've already received may prove helpful.

    From a personal point of view, I'd say you carry your Mum in your heart, & she will always be there as long as you live. It does take time, but I hope one day you will smile at the good memories you shared, as I'm sure your Mum would also wish.

    I also imagine lying on a warm beach, the waves washing over me, & as they recede it takes my pain away; somewhat similar to what @WhileIBreathIHope mentioned, who has also given great advice on taking just small steps to better help you.

    I do understand your legs feeling like jelly sensation, as I had this following a fractured hip (on top of the other problems I have!). I thought I would never get outside again, but my garden got me out.....it's not much, just decking & 4 raised beds. I would be stuck in the house without this little bit of 'garden.' Exercise does help; just going outside, so it's great to read you are trying this. The more you try, the easier it will become.

    Anyway, very pleased to 'meet' you, & hope you know that you're no longer alone. I look forward to hearing from you again anytime.

  • millie72millie72 Member Posts: 27 Courageous
    My dear chobbly, your word,s , are so hart ,felt , i felt every word, as i read your loverly tex to me , i will read it over ,and over , agajn my love , sending best whisher,s , and with great , warmth , millie72 xxx
  • chiariedschiarieds Community champion Posts: 6,896 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi again @millie72 How have you been today. We've had a lot of very welcome sunshine; I hope you had the same, & managed to get a little bit of fresh air.

    Do you have a garden, or a bit of outside space.... somewhere nice to sit? I'm just thinking it's about time I bought some bulbs for the pots just outside my patio doors, so there's a splash of colour I can see in the spring.....anything but daffodils, as I'm not fussed on the colour yellow....'tho I've still got one yellow nasturtium that sneaked in amongst the red & orange ones!

    Another sunny day tomorrow, so I hope you may get outside a little then & begin to win the battle with those 'jelly legs.'

    Delighted to read that others are helping you here. Do please keep in touch as it's really good to hear from you.
  • millie72millie72 Member Posts: 27 Courageous
    I will try and go outside ,tomorrow, i am going to buy some bulb,s on line , thank u ,for thinking of me , i love the sun , coming through the window ,  it brighten,s my home , its the dark night,s wot get,s me down , xx
  • mike62mike62 Member Posts: 34 Courageous
    Hi @millie72.
    Aye these cold dark nights and often grey clouds this time of year. I feel cold quick but I'm amazed to see folk in tee shirts even shorts walking outside, heres me with long johns on, jumpers and down jacket - how do they do it?
    We got some primulars and pansies to give colour in our hanging trough and baskets although the rain has hammered them a bit. Did you get any floods down your neck of the woods?
    Hope you wrap up when you pop out, sunny but cold.
    Do you do any indoor hobbies Millie. 
    Hi to others on this thread. See ya Millie 
  • chiariedschiarieds Community champion Posts: 6,896 Disability Gamechanger
    I learnt something from a 9 year old boy a long time ago. He had had both a stroke & an ileostomy, & was naturally very withdrawn & depressed. I was asked to treat him as a physio student.....saw he had some gardening magazines which his grandad had given him.....at that time I hadn't a clue about gardening, ....but that was the way forward when I talked to him about his gardening magazines; his grandad had said we'll grow seeds next year, what would you like to grow? We chatted about this, & it gave him hope. A few weeks later he was walking about the ward, drip stand in tow, giving drinks out to bed-bound children.

    I think many of us dread the winter months, & the isolation this may increase.....but, perhaps, planting bulbs gives us hope of the following Spring.

    We've had way too much rain recently @mike62 & Hi; hope your flowers recover.

    Millie, just do the best that you can....it can take time, but you'll get there too. I hope you get outside for a few minutes tomorrow enjoying the sunshine.
  • chiariedschiarieds Community champion Posts: 6,896 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @millie72 - How have you been today? Where have you looked that you can buy bulbs online....I would be interested to know, as I rarely go anywhere?

    Today we've had some weak sunshine, but it seemed colder outside than yesterday. What's the weather been like where you are?
  • millie72millie72 Member Posts: 27 Courageous
    Hi my love ,  i have brought my bulb,s on groupon . They have good deals at the mo,  ebay have good deal,s, as, wel ,, they have good rating,s ,on both site,s,  love the sun shine, i did go in the garden to day , to get the leaves up ,  xxxx
  • chiariedschiarieds Community champion Posts: 6,896 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @millie72 -Thank you, I don't understand groupon too well, but my daughter has mentioned this before....I will have to ask her (my children often educate me!) I do understand ebay better, however.
    I am so pleased to read you managed to get out in your garden today....you are doing amazingly well!
    Will write more tomorrow; thinking about you, goodnight.
  • saz11saz11 Member Posts: 121 Pioneering
    Hi @millie72

    I have just come across your post my lovely how are you today.

    I know exactly how you feel when i lost my father my heart broke but then i lost my mum and my whole world fell apart and i was lost for a very long time still am some days.

    I am so glad you have joined the site....i know its hard to open up when you are on your own. I isolated myself from everything but gradually i am feeling better and learning to be happy again. 

    God i will always be lost without them but i would be making them sad if i didn't get on with my life.

    If there is anything i can do for you please just say. Keep smiling 


  • chiariedschiarieds Community champion Posts: 6,896 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @millie72 What a lovely message you have just had from @saz11 - This is such a great community where everyone tries to help each other. I hope you are enjoying getting to know us all!
    How have you been today? I have been out collecting leaves too today all 27001 of them! I was going to write to you earlier but have been on the phone to my daughter as we have an 87 year old tenant having problems. She's been in hospital for a fortnight & my daughter & son-in-law have been in to visit her twice as her son lives in Australia. They've also been to her home 3 times, tidied & cleaned, sorted her fridge out, etc & taken her in fresh clothes. Sadly it looks like she has dementia. We were hoping she'd get home by the end of the week.
    Thinking about what saz11 was saying, I remember when I lost my Mum I felt like I was in a bubble & everything around me was in slow motion, yet I was aware of other people beyond this bubble just carrying on with their lives around me. I was only 22. I was closest to my Mum, but after that I became grateful for the many years I had getting to know my very quiet Dad better. My Mum & Dad adopted me when I was 6 months old....I could not have had better parents.
    Did you get out a bit today? It was cloudy here, but not too cold without yesterday's wind. I haven't had a chance to look for bulbs today, & forgot to ask my daughter about groupon with all that's been happening!
    I look forward to hearing from you & will write again tomorrow.


  • saz11saz11 Member Posts: 121 Pioneering
    @chiarieds

    Thank you for your kind words. Like you i was so close to my mum and as you say  life around you goes on and i remember that made me feel really angry at the time but i was just angry at everything if i am honest.....but you do start learning to live a different life without them but not without all those wonderful memories.

    Reading your post your daughter and son in aw seem very kind and caring people you must feel vey proud.


  • chiariedschiarieds Community champion Posts: 6,896 Disability Gamechanger
    edited October 2019
    Hi @saz11 Thank you for reaching out to this lovely lady here; think we both appreciate her enormous loss.

    My daughter has great empathy for others as she feels life can often be too short. They are both very compassionate people because of the losses they have both had.
  • saz11saz11 Member Posts: 121 Pioneering
    @chiarieds

    Sorry to hear that.....makes you realise how precious every day is and if holding out your hand helps someone enjoy that day then lets all put our hands out.

    Don't get me wrong i haven't always felt so positive at times in my life i have wanted to end it all. 

    But thank god i am out of that dark place. I think my gorgeous mum was up there and decided enough lady you are lucky now get on with your bloody life.....well words to that effect !!!!. She loved life till the very end 

    She wrote a poem for me a line in it says
    As long as you are breathing you are taking a breath for me. 
    And that's very true so when i a bit down i think of it and smile.



  • chiariedschiarieds Community champion Posts: 6,896 Disability Gamechanger
    @saz11 Sorry, I edited my post as I'd said too much; it is so very hard sometimes to be positive, & I have felt like you. It does take time, eventually you smile, then feel guilty when you laugh...then you just remember the precious memories you have. Might you share your Mum's poem; that line means so much.
    Thank you; it is good to get to know you a little.
  • saz11saz11 Member Posts: 121 Pioneering
    @chiarieds

    Good chatting with you too take care
  • thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger
    edited October 2019
    Hello @saz11   Pleased to meet you. How are your doing.  Sorry to hear what you are going through.

    I know never easy to cope with losing loved ones.  I have care concern, compassion and empathy. Feel for you .

    Sending prayers.

    Please how can be supportive.  Happy to listen anytime.  

    Please if I can offer this organisation to look at.

    https://www.cruse.org.uk.

    Helpline 0808 808 1677

    I used them myself from a time had the loss of some friends due to addiction and other illness.

    Every day was a struggle but listening and dealing with what you are going through.  Is a battle emotionally and physically.

    Mentally can be a emotive time  and it does resonate with me those memories of good times with the friends who I lost.

    Be positive and think what wonderful friends they were and think of them.

    Using the bible and the soothing words of our Lord and Jesus does help to heal with in.

    I did speak to a Priest does help some comfort and after it became a lot easier.

    The most important thing about losing any one is to keep their memory alive. Make it special have a service.

    I believe some Churches do this.  I would look at this maybe in your area.  Remembrance services are good because they link you up with other families people going through the same.

    Who you can talk to be a shoulder. 

    Can be beneficial.  A celebration of the life of the loved one you lost is another one to think about.

    This is something I have done before. Because it helps us all of us the those who cared. Come together and praise the devotion and high esteem we feel for our loved ones.

    In a lot of Cultures around the World they do this. Have a special day.

    Please if I can help with anything .  Please let me know as a community champion have a wealth of support and lifelines if you need them.

    Please ask only too happy to share.

    Please take care of your self your important, valued member of our community.

    Always in prayers

    @thespiceman


    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
    Recipes
  • pollyanna1052pollyanna1052 Member Posts: 1,999 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello there. I am so sorry to hear of your sorrow.

    Losing your mum is devastating and then losing your furry friend is too much on top. I think you are suffering with grief, which can bring anger too, and resentment. All these emotions are natural and it will take time to come to terms with your losses.

    You might also be effected by SAD. I hate the early dark nights and the cold. Getting into the garden I such a boosts.

    Do you think a chat with your GP might be helpful? He/she may know of clubs to join , where you could make new friends.

    Best wishes xxx
  • chiariedschiarieds Community champion Posts: 6,896 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @millie72 How have you been today? I see you have received a lovely message from Pollyanna; when I joined Scope, Chloe reached out to support me, & Pollyanna sent me such kind messages....things I'll not forget. And you have received so many kind messages from other great people here.....I do hope you're finding it helpful.

    Today I was looking after my son's little Bedlington terrier, & it made me wonder what sort of dog was your little Millie. If you would like to talk about her it would be good to hear. Please don't if this would be too upsetting.

    Did you get out in the garden again today? Which reminds me, I still haven't got round to ordering those bulbs yet! What sort are you ordering? Speak to you tomorrow, x
  • millie72millie72 Member Posts: 27 Courageous
    Hi my love ,  my little mille was a jackrussel, she was white with a patch of, brown across her ear, i rescued her when she was 6mth old , i miss her so much ,  xx
  • chiariedschiarieds Community champion Posts: 6,896 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi again Millie. My husband's dad had a jack russell, called Jack. Lovely to hear your Millie was a rescue dog & you gave her a good home. And thank you for saying about her.
    I took in a kitten who had been abandoned near where I live with her brother & mother. The kittens were about 3 or 4 months old, & her brother has found a home too.....they've called him Monty, & mine I named Shadow.
    Take care; thinking about you, x
  • thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @millie72   Please can ask ? How are coping ?

    Please can I add did you ever look at any of the links I provided for you when I first contacted you.

    By contacting the links I have provided.  You will get the support, guidance and advice to cope with everything.

    I know it is difficult and not easy the first steps contacting any body. I know hard  to do.

    We do understand and have the time, compassion and the empathy to listen to you anytime.

    Please if I can help with anything please get in touch happy to do so, you know you found the best support.

    Lots of friends on here wishing you well. 

    Please keep safe and warm.  Sending prayers.

    Please take care of your self.

    @thespiceman



    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
    Recipes
  • suzanb34suzanb34 Member Posts: 1 Listener
    Hi Millie this is my first post I’m so sorry you feel so alone. I feel the same often and hardly go out. It would be great to have a cuppa with you xx
  • thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @suzanb34   Pleased to meet you welcome.

    Thank you for joining and sharing.

    I am one of the team of community champions on the forum. We guide, advise and help new members who join the community.

    Sorry to hear you do not go out much. I know it is a struggle myself. I live alone.

    Please can I say need to ask anything please get in touch.  Plenty of new friends.

    Please can I add we are here to support you.  Have compassion, empathy and time to listen anytime.

    We are a friendly community, share and care.

    Please have a look around our website.

    Please take care. Keep warm and safe.

    Pleasure to meet you.

    @thespiceman


    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
    Recipes
  • chiariedschiarieds Community champion Posts: 6,896 Disability Gamechanger
    @suzanb34 -What a great first post, thank you. You might try sharing a 'virtual' cuppa, & chat.
    Millie just to let you know that @thespiceman is this community's resident 'gentleman.' He always offers some of the kindest thoughts; has great compassion & empathy for others. I hope you know you are now amongst friends. Goodnight, x
  • Chloe_ScopeChloe_Scope Scope Posts: 10,662 Disability Gamechanger
    Sorry to hear people are going through a difficult time. These darker nights certainly can really affect people's moods. Just wanted to say you are all valuable members of the community and it is great to have you all here. Your support to each other is so lovely to see and please do reach out if there is anything we can do to help. We are not trained in mental health, but our understanding makes this a safe place.

    Welcome to the community @suzanb34! So lovely to have you here and a virtual cup of tea would be very good indeed! 

    Hope you all have a lovely Friday and a relaxing weekend. :)
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  • pollyanna1052pollyanna1052 Member Posts: 1,999 Disability Gamechanger
    suzanb34 said:
    Hi Millie this is my first post I’m so sorry you feel so alone. I feel the same often and hardly go out. It would be great to have a cuppa with you xx

    Hi Suzan, welcome to the group. We do our best to support each other. Want to chat more? xx
  • pollyanna1052pollyanna1052 Member Posts: 1,999 Disability Gamechanger
    millie72 said:
    Hi my love ,  my little mille was a jackrussel, she was white with a patch of, brown across her ear, i rescued her when she was 6mth old , i miss her so much ,  xx

    Hi Millie, my daughter has a Jack Russell called Willow. They also call her Pardy...dunno how that name came about. She is such a busy little girl, always on the hunt for something to do next. Recently she got trapped underneath a neighbour`s decking. It had to be dismantled to get her out...she was terrorising a hedgehog!!!!

    Our little girl is a toy poodle called Sophie. They don't see each other often, but run riot when they do!
  • chiariedschiarieds Community champion Posts: 6,896 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi Millie, It's been rather damp with some rain here, have you had the same? Well, the start of another month; it seems like October flew by. How have you been today? I've been a bit achy with this weather.....I think my joints need oiling!
    You can write to me anytime, my name is Gail, thought I would let you know. I will write again tomorrow, take care, x
  • millie72millie72 Member Posts: 27 Courageous
    Hi gail, loverly to read your tex, its been raining of and on today , i was watching to rain drop off the conifer tree,s  it was very calming to watch , the brancher,s hold,,s lot,s of rain , it,s, as though they light up with the rain , hope to here from u soon , take care my love , ps, i am sorry to here , u are in pain , xx
  • millie72millie72 Member Posts: 27 Courageous
  • millie72millie72 Member Posts: 27 Courageous
    This was my loverly little millie , who very sadly died , 
  • chiariedschiarieds Community champion Posts: 6,896 Disability Gamechanger
    Oh, Millie, your little dog looks lovely....what a great picture! I'm sorry, I went to bed earlier than usual last night as I thought that the best place to rest with the pain I'd had. Feeling a bit better this morning apart from my back aching. Hope to get out in the garden today as the sun is shining here now. Thank you so much for sharing your lovely photo of Millie. Will write later, love from Gail, x
  • pollyanna1052pollyanna1052 Member Posts: 1,999 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi Millie, oh your little dog is beautiful and look at her, guarding her friend.
    Our Sophie cant be trusted with soft toys, as she destroys and eats bits.
    She has a rubber ball, which she loves and plays fetch with.

    It`s cold and wet here today. xx
  • mike62mike62 Member Posts: 34 Courageous
    Hi @millie72
    Yeah shes a cute dog. 
    It's grey wet weather here hope you have a bit better.
    take care now.
    Yours @mike62
  • millie72millie72 Member Posts: 27 Courageous
    My little millie past away 3 weeks ago , rescued her when she was 9 mths old , she was 12 when she sadly pasted away , it as broke my hart ,,,
  • millie72millie72 Member Posts: 27 Courageous
  • mike62mike62 Member Posts: 34 Courageous
    Aw three weeks is a very short time indeed when you lost her. Its clear from the photo that you loved her very much and she was very well looked after. Its totally understandable for you to feel the way you do.
    I'm sure people on this thread feel for you as well and are happy to read your thoughts you write.
    You gave her happiness all those years.
    Maybe you have a few more photos we could see.
    Take care @millie72
  • CressidaCressida Member Posts: 681 Pioneering
    @millie72 The photos you've posted of Millie and her bear are lovely. She looks like she was a right character! She obviously loved her bear 🙂
  • chiariedschiarieds Community champion Posts: 6,896 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi Millie, what lovely photos you have of your little Millie; I'm sure you'll treasure them. I didn't realise how recently you'd lost her; it must be so hard.
    Well, I did a little bit of tidying up in the garden yesterday, & picked up leaves today, but rain stopped play both days. Did you manage to get outside?
    I was wondering what sort of things you like to do. I enjoy reading....I've always been a bookworm! I find it helps distract me from pain. What about you, do you read, enjoy watching TV, or have some hobbies?
    Speak to you again, love from Gail, x
  • millie72millie72 Member Posts: 27 Courageous
    Hi gail love being in the garden , i to have been tidying up the leaves, i feel so at peace,  toughting the earth, being a taurus sign , we love the earth , might put a sola pond in the garden in summer, to remind me of millie, and put her favourite, garden chair next to it  , so might come and visit me ,  from spirit  , ill put one of her favourite treats there just in case ,xxx
  • chiariedschiarieds Community champion Posts: 6,896 Disability Gamechanger
    Yes, I think being in the garden is one of the best places to be. I love your idea for the solar pond, a lovely place to remember your Millie, & something to look forward to doing. I'm glad you've been out today tidying up the leaves too, Gail, x
  • chiariedschiarieds Community champion Posts: 6,896 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi Millie, I hope you've had a good day. Just want you know how lovely it is getting to know you a little & I look forward to hearing from you each night. Perhaps you have managed to get out in your garden today; I hope so, as it obviously matters to you too.
    Please know you are a valued member of this community, & there will always be someone willing to listen whenever you want..
    I hold you in my thoughts each night, Gail, x
  • pollyanna1052pollyanna1052 Member Posts: 1,999 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi Millie, not been a bad day for tidying the garden....so I told hubby what needed doing! Haha!
    All my garden ornaments have been put away for the winter.

    I love them, I have a caravan, a pub, a watering can and some meerkats

    I got the rock painting bug this summer and did loads. I
    gave a lot away and kept some for the garden.
    Here`s a picture of some
  • chiariedschiarieds Community champion Posts: 6,896 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi Millie, How are you? I'm sorry I wrote too late last night & missed you. Pollyanna's painted rocks are great, don't you think? You didn't say if you have any hobbies or interests, or perhaps something you might look into. Well, other than gardening, which is so good. Sending my best wishes, as always to you, Gail, x
  • millie72millie72 Member Posts: 27 Courageous
    Hi my love hope u are keeping wel i loved the rock,s , im going to paint some , and put in millie,s sun garden , that i did for her , after her passing , they look very colourful , and pretty and  i no millie will visit her sun garden when the weather get,s warmer ,  best wisher,s ,xxx
  • crackercracker Member Posts: 324 Pioneering
    Hello, @millie72,

    I am writing on a Kindle, very slow, so I will just say that I do understand how you must feel.

    I am 73, have significant disability and have all family and my health and mobility. I was struck by your post because I have been alone most of the tome...not by choice...and was thinking goes do we cope with loss?



    I do have home health workers who help with housework and going to market, but that is only 2 - 4 hours a day.

    Can you get some help with depression?

    I am glad to see all the posts in answer to your post.
  • Chloe_ScopeChloe_Scope Scope Posts: 10,662 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @cracker, how are you doing today?

    Sounds like things can get very lonely. I was wondering if you have ever spoken to a GP about feeling depressed?
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  • chiariedschiarieds Community champion Posts: 6,896 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi Millie, I really like the painted rocks that Pollyanna has done. I'm going to ask her what sort of paint she uses, as I think I'd like to try this too. I live close to a river, so will ask my son to try & get some good stones for me when the water level goes down. Those you will do will look great in your little Millie's sun garden; I'm sure she will be there for you both.
    I hope you've had a good day; thinking about you, as I do each evening, love from Gail, x
  • thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @cracker   How are you?  Been awhile last time we spoke.

    Always here for a chat either here or if you wish to can PM on the messaging service.

    A good place to talk and be supportive, just a thought.

    Always a listening ear.

    Your friend.

    @thespiceman
    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
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  • pollyanna1052pollyanna1052 Member Posts: 1,999 Disability Gamechanger
    Thankyou for the lovely comments on my rocks. I use Posca pens. It is easier for me to manage paint in a pen, rather than use actual paint, a brush and water. I`d make  right mess!

    Also with using paint pens, they dry very quickly and you can stop and start just as you like. But always put the cap back on the pen or they dry out.


  • chiariedschiarieds Community champion Posts: 6,896 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi Millie, how has your day been? I'm going to look into the pens Pollyanna has mentioned. My eldest granddaughter (17 years old) is at college studying art, & has also used coloured pens for many years...(her favourite medium)!
    How are you feeling....are your legs feeling a little stronger as it seems like you are going outside into your garden more? Sending this with my best wishes as always, love from Gail, x
  • millie72millie72 Member Posts: 27 Courageous
    My legs feel a lot more stable, and if i could just get the confidence to , to leave the house with out feeling anxious, i no i have been able to achieve a little , hope u are well my love , i think we are all going to be painting rock,s for summer, lol, take great care , will speak again soon ,.xx
  • chiariedschiarieds Community champion Posts: 6,896 Disability Gamechanger
    Millie, you are doing amazingly well just in being going out into your garden, & I'm so pleased to read this. It may take time to leave your house without feeling anxious, but I feel you'll get there when you feel able. I'm much better than in previous days, thank you. I have problems that are not going to improve, so hearing from such a lovely person as yourself that may fare better actually helps me. Yes, rock painting sounds like something we can enjoy, & share, Gail, x
  • thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @millie72   How are you doing and coping. Great to see other members giving their support, time and love for you.

    I wanted to add did you ever look at any of the links I provided. Is there anything we can help with.?

    I was thinking of AGEUK this might be useful.

    https://www.ageuk.org.uk.

    Just a thought does help. I used them myself last year. I am middle fifties and needed some guidance and they helped me. Is that possible to have a look see how they can help you.

    Plus the concerns and care I have for members who are struggling. I want yo to understand please ask my self for any support or advice or guidance. As many of the members have offered a lot to help too.

    One of my concerns is there is help out there as I know my self. Must share there are any difficult days.

    These organisations will give you support  give some self esteem and confidence to try to cope and move on.

    I know it is hard and small steps every day. I hope you take a look if there anything you need. Want a chat need to ask me anything please do so.

    As part of the Community Champions team and lot of compassion and empathy for those who are lonely .

    As I am this myself but use this forum for the love, kindness and support from my friends and members on here this forum.

    Wishing you well keep safe and warm .

    Always in prayers.

    Please take care.

    @thespiceman


    Community Champion
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  • Chloe_ScopeChloe_Scope Scope Posts: 10,662 Disability Gamechanger
    So lovely to see the support on this thread. I hope you all have a lovely day. :)
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  • pollyanna1052pollyanna1052 Member Posts: 1,999 Disability Gamechanger
    chiarieds said:
    Hi Millie, how has your day been? I'm going to look into the pens Pollyanna has mentioned. My eldest granddaughter (17 years old) is at college studying art, & has also used coloured pens for many years...(her favourite medium)!
    How are you feeling....are your legs feeling a little stronger as it seems like you are going outside into your garden more? Sending this with my best wishes as always, love from Gail, x

     Hi Posca pens can be bought at The Range. I got most of mine from ebay. They aren`t cheap, but they are the best and are very long lasting.
  • chiariedschiarieds Community champion Posts: 6,896 Disability Gamechanger
    edited November 2019
    Hi Millie, how are you? I've had a busy day for me. My son & daughter-in-law took me to the opticians, & helped me choose a frame for some glasses... I felt battered & bruised by the time I got home physically, 'tho it had done me good to get out of the house for a while. Has taken me some time to recover! I've been having problems reading, & also looking at the computer for a while now, so I feel I will be pleased to get some glasses soon. Goodnight, Millie, thinking about you, x
  • millie72millie72 Member Posts: 27 Courageous
    I have no family , left now, miss them so much ,u no a cuppa and a natta, makes to day go round , one minit your lfe is full of family and friends, and the next minit u have no one, i am glad u have been out today , and sorted your glasser,s, its so loverly to here from u , sending love to u and your family , xx
  • chiariedschiarieds Community champion Posts: 6,896 Disability Gamechanger
    Dear Millie, I am so fortunate in having a son who said come & live near to me, & I will look after you, which he has done. You are so kind in sending love to myself & family. My daughter texts or phones me when she can. I wish it were different for you; family I feel is so important. Circumstances meant I didn't have friends, so yes, my children are very important to me.
    Just know whilst family is so very important, & we remember those we've lost & hold them always in our hearts so very dearly , you have made new friends with several people here.
  • crackercracker Member Posts: 324 Pioneering
    Hello to all  I can of type very much now but promise To try to do better. It took me ten minutes just to get this written.
    I do read every night. And have lots to say. Please bars with me 

    Thinking of evreryone.
  • thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @cracker   Good to hear from you.

    I sure every one is supportive do understand what you are going through.

    Always here to be a friend.  Keep in touch

    Please take care.

    @thespiceman
    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
    Recipes
  • crackercracker Member Posts: 324 Pioneering
    Thank you, @spiceman. This forum was my home before a severe accident. I am so glad to be back to my peolp
  • chiariedschiarieds Community champion Posts: 6,896 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi Millie, how have you fared recently? I am so sorry you feel you've lost everyone....family & friends, as well as your little Millie. Just know, that I hope you know, that I hold you in my thoughts always, & especially when I go to bed each night. It's also lovely to hear from you too, Gail, x
  • crackercracker Member Posts: 324 Pioneering
    I thought I deleted all the duplicates. Can someone tell me how to do that?
  • mrbuttonsmrbuttons Member Posts: 221 Pioneering
    hello @millie72 I have just seen your post. I hope things are looking a bit brighter for you now. I have been in a similar situation myself and can highly recommend the services of Age UK as mentioned by another person above. I have a carer from Age UK shes absolutely lovely and we are now firm friends. the befriending service is also great they can come around for a cuppa and a chat or call you on a regular basis just to check-in and see how you are.

    I have to admit I have also called the samaritans when I have been at my lowest ebb, you don't have to be suicidal to contact them, in fact, they encourage people to get in touch before things get to that extent. they are available 24 hrs a day every day and always have a kind ear whatever the reason for your call they can even put you in touch with local services.

    i understand the heartache of losing a much-loved pet after years of companionship having lost my beloved cat last Christmas. I swore that I would never get another pet but I heard about a local charity that finds homes for elderly cats. that's how i found my cat Mr buttons. hes about 15 yrs old and an indoor cat so we are together all the time.
    I'm not suggesting that you rush and get another pet but having another cat has saved me from falling into a dark, dark depression.
    i notice in your photo of lovely little Millie that you like Yankee candles, I do too :) . whats your favourite scent? i like black coconut and im addicted the QVC shows but I buy the candles on eBay because they are cheaper.
    take kind care of yourself and please remember that you are not alone. im often here late at night because i dontsleep well, come and find me if you ever need some online company. it would be lovely to chat online.




  • chiariedschiarieds Community champion Posts: 6,896 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi Millie, Sorry to have written too late last night. How have you been today? I hope to hear again from you soon. There are some lovely people here understanding the loss of your little Millie, family & friends. Love from me too, Gail, x.
  • chiariedschiarieds Community champion Posts: 6,896 Disability Gamechanger
    @millie72 How are you? I'm very sorry not to have heard from you recently. It's alright if you don't want to say much, but would you please just let me know you're OK. With love from Gail, x
  • millie72millie72 Member Posts: 27 Courageous
    Hi my love , sorry for not repllying to your loverly messager,s, i have been full of cold, whith a throat virus, it was very painfull to swallow, i am feeling a lot better, please, look after yourself in this cold weather, xxxx
  • northernlassnorthernlass Member Posts: 6 Connected
    Hi Millie, having read your first post I can see an improvement already in your attitude to life and wanting to enter out into the world again, you are not alone and there are so many of us can relate to your loss and loneliness.  One step at a time, you have shut yourself away for quite a long time and it takes courage to get your life back.  I am 64, and lost my husband in February of this year, after caring for him for several years, you do lose contact with friends in that time and depression sets in.  There is a big gap, that is hard to fill, and that invisible wall that is so very, very hard to break through to get out of the door.  I suppose that I am fortunate in that I still have my Labrador, who demands my taking him out first thing, when it seems like the hardest task in the world but I go, you can't explain depression to a dog.  I have my son, who is a blessing.  Having a dog is an amazing thing, just short walks and I see so many people who have become, "morning, how are you doing", friends, many I know the dog's name but not the owners, but isn't that always the case.  You are still a relatively young woman, with so much to give and experience.  I have found that there are so many, many lonely people who live very close to us, desperate for a brew and a chat but are stuck in their life, it's getting to know them, that is the difficult thing, but there are a ways.   I hope you are feeling better soon, this damp weather is awful, bad chest weather, I call it.  Sending a hug. Pam 
  • Adrian_ScopeAdrian_Scope Testing Team, Community Team Posts: 7,940 Scope community team
    cracker said:
    I thought I deleted all the duplicates. Can someone tell me how to do that?
    I've done this for you @cracker. It only allows you to edit your posts for a limited time after posting. 
    Senior Community Partner
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    If you have a few minutes to spare, we'd appreciate your feedback on our online community.
  • chiariedschiarieds Community champion Posts: 6,896 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi, thank you so much for replying; no worries, so long as you're OK. I'm sorry to read you've had a bad cold & a throat virus; that sounds horrid. I do hope you really are feeling a little better. Thank you again for your kind words, & you please also take care & look after yourself too. I made a chicken noodle soup late this afternoon, & was thinking about you as I did so, wishing I could share this with you.
    I often make soup; a simple meal at tea-time, I find. I hope you are managing to build your strength back up with some easy food such as this as it's been so painful for to you swallow. Goodnight, & sending this with much love, x
  • millie72millie72 Member Posts: 27 Courageous
    I.m feeling a lot better , going to do my shop on line ,and make some freash soup, i loved cooking when i had a family , u have to push yourself to eat when u are alone , my little millie loved her sunday dinner she would lick her tongue around her mouth when she had finished, and look at ne , as if to say , thank u ,, then she would go and sit in the sun shind , and sleep , it,s, alway,s loverly to here from u  will make some soup and think of u , take care my loverly caring friend , and keep warm, xx
  • Chloe_ScopeChloe_Scope Scope Posts: 10,662 Disability Gamechanger
    edited November 2019
    Welcome to the community @northernlass and thank you for sharing this with us. I hope you have a lovely day.

    Lovely to hear from you @millie72, this all sounds great! What soup will you be making?
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  • millie72millie72 Member Posts: 27 Courageous
    Hi , pumpkin and lentil, 
  • Chloe_ScopeChloe_Scope Scope Posts: 10,662 Disability Gamechanger
    This sounds really tasty @millie72! :)
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  • chiariedschiarieds Community champion Posts: 6,896 Disability Gamechanger
    Sounds like you are definitely on the mend. I used to love cooking for my family; so very hard to then do so for one. I often make too much, but it comes in handy for other days (or put in the freezer). I find I often make simpler meals as everything takes me a long time to do.
    I've made lentil soup before, but not with pumpkin. My favourite is tomato soup made with the tomatoes I grow.
    I'm sure you enjoyed your soup; it not only did you good, but you have achieved something in the making of it....that's how I feel when I've done so. If I can do something 'extra' in a day, that to me is a small achievement, & makes me feel a little better.
    Goodnight. Thank you for calling me your friend, that means a lot. With love, Gail, xx

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