Munchauser by proxy — Scope | Disability forum

Munchauser by proxy

shrubs56 Member Posts: 6 Listener
My son has Aspergers severe depression anxiety and OCD.My husband (not sons dad) told me a few years ago that I had  Munchenhauser by proxy. I forgave him for that but now he’s suggesting that something sinister in my sons past is causing his current depression and anxiety. My mind is in overdrive that my son may have been abused as a child and I can’t stop thinking about it! 


  • Misscleo
    Misscleo Member Posts: 647 Pioneering
    Some men are just cruel. It is usually a man who is jelouse of the love between mother and child. 
    Unless there is more evidence I would disregard anything he says and when you can dump him.

  • paffuto10
    paffuto10 Member Posts: 388 Pioneering

    Welcome to the community  :)

    Your husband should be supporting you and your son at this difficult time, not laying blame or suggesting bad things in the past. 

    As I understand it, depression, anxiety and even OCD can be part of Aspergers. 
    And you can tell your husband that this information comes from Experts Psychiatrist and Psychologist who diagnosed my son. 

    I thought this idea of blaming mothers was a thing of the past! 

    I had social services trying to blame me 15 years ago but the Experts put them right. 
    It's so hurtful isn't it? 

    Sorry, but your husband needs to get a grip and start supporting you. 

    Wishing you well and keep coming to the forum if you can manage it. 
    There's always plenty of discussions going on. 

    Keep your chin up.
  • stephenjohn
    stephenjohn Member Posts: 44 Courageous
    my my wife has N.E.S.S which is similar to p.d.s.d in symptoms .....when we went to see a specialist in this illness I was asked to leave the room ........when I later asked sandy my wife what happened she said that she was asked if I was abusing her ....if her father or grandfather had abused her or if I was holding her against her will.....nice ! Non of these happened ....her dad died of lung cancer ,her brother drank itself to death and her mother had a devastating stroke within 2 years ....she had so much grief that she couldn’t cope and that’s what triggered her anxiety.......we had a pip assessment recently and the interrogation was relentless and she had an attack in the building don’t take it personally they just don’t care who they upset .....
     love and hugs    
  • paffuto10
    paffuto10 Member Posts: 388 Pioneering

    Good morning  :)

    That's awful on both counts, your wife being questioned in such a way by the specialist and also the PIP "interrogation" causing an attack!

    Obviously, your wife needs a bit of gentle understanding, care and treatment to help with her grief. 
    Any normal person could see that just by reading your comment. 

    None of this will have helped your wife in any way, in fact probably made her condition worse. 

    In @shrubs56 case it's her own husband who is blaming her!  To the point where she's actually researching Munchausens!!
    The one person who should be giving her his full support is now causing her to question and worry about the past!

    I hope your wife will be alright and is recovering. 
  • shrubs56
    shrubs56 Member Posts: 6 Listener
    So I’m going t o my sons tomorrow but I know if I do this my marriage is over so I’ve packed a bag to take with me! ??
  • paffuto10
    paffuto10 Member Posts: 388 Pioneering

    It sounds like an awful situation. 
    Do you mean your husband doesn't like you seeing your son? 
  • shrubs56
    shrubs56 Member Posts: 6 Listener
    He thinks I’m enabling his behaviours.
  • Adrian_Scope
    Adrian_Scope Posts: 8,576 Scope online community team
    Hi @shrubs56. How are you getting on?
    This sounds like a really difficult situation. Did your husband indicate why he thinks your son might have suffered abuse?
    If you do have concerns about it and your son would like some support, there are a range of charities out there supporting victims. You can find a few of them outlined here by Supportline. It also might be worth contacting social services to see if you can arrange any support for your son if you feel like it's affecting him.
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