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Getting bullied

HawkwindsHawkwinds Member Posts: 2 Listener
edited March 2020 in Disabled people
I too get bullied in pubs because i wear Puffa Jackets as i suffer a circulation disease feeling the cold more than others.

I get talked about, called names and if i try to defend myself the person bullying me get supported by the bar staff and i am told to leave.

I come out to make friends with people.

It leaves me feeling alone and depressed and scared to go to this club despite being a member of it!

I am alone after the death of my family!

How do i fight this!

I tried to ask him "Why is he doing it"?

I get "I've told you before don't interrupt my conversation"

I cannot ask why as i get told to leave by the bar staff.

I hear others running people down and i get so sick of it, i go into the pool room to listen to music rather than listen to others calling others names and myself being a victim.

Does anyone know how i can fight this as they take his side leaving me scared to ask for help?

Replies

  • Chloe_ScopeChloe_Scope Scope Posts: 10,664 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @Hawkwind and a warm welcome to the community!

    I'm sorry to hear people have been so cruel, you certainly do not deserve that. Have you tired MeetUp? You  might be able to find groups and events that are in your area. Is there anyone you can speak to about this? Even if it just gives you a chance to get it off your chest.

    Please do let us know how you get on. :)
    Community Partner
    Scope

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  • kaykay1606kaykay1606 Member Posts: 4 Listener
    Hi! I’m so sorry to hear youre being bullied, it’s such a horrible situation to be in. As it’s been mentioned Meetup it a great place to find people and make new friends that understand your circumstances. I really hope that you find someone to talk to! 
    KayKay1606  
  • janer1967janer1967 Community champion Posts: 7,475 Disability Gamechanger
    HI @Hawkwind Welcome to the community I am a community champion at scope. From the sounds of you post it doesn't seem like the club you go to is very friendly and doesn't help that the staff just ask you to leave they probably do this to avoid any potential fall out thinking it is easier to ask you to leave than tackle the perpetrator. As you said you go into another room so you don't have to listen to them putting people down it seems this is a regular occurance . I would suggest maybe writing to thr manager of the establishment expressing your concerns or maybe think about finding somewhere else to go. I hope you get something sorted and can enjoy a better social life
  • HawkwindsHawkwinds Member Posts: 2 Listener
    Thank you for the reply

    Many who go there are good people around 18,30 PM - They tend to leave by 22.00 

    It is around the time of their leaving that others come in and these are the bad ones.

    I have written to their management but they never reply and i feel afraid to ask why.

    The clothes i wear are because of the severe cold i suffer from.

    I know it sounds strange but even as i type this my hands and body are freezing i have to boost my circulation using a hairdryer up my clothes!

    Trying to explain this to them is impossible because they drown me out and the staff take their side, i think you are right that they probably do this to avoid confrontation.

    If that was me, i would not just ask me to leave, i would educate these people that calling names is wrong.
    It causes misery to others
    They do not wake up in the morning better off for it.

    What i am saying here is what i wish i could say to them.

    I sat at home yesterday, depressed, scared, worried i won't be allowed back in etc..

    I go out to try to make friends, i will not go out to make others lives a misery and i do not careless what clothes people wear or anything else as life is too short.

    You seem a good person and i wish more were like you
  • janer1967janer1967 Community champion Posts: 7,475 Disability Gamechanger
    Another suggestion could be that when you go in again at a quiet time ask to speak to the manager as he hasn't replied to your letter. Would it be possible to ask one of these people if they would take a drink with you (offer to buy) and use the opportunity to explain to them. I do think though you shouldn't have to explain your reasons for wearing a coat its not exactly offensive to anyone, it just sounds like these people are bullies and will use anything to try and bully people, probably as they think it will impress everyone else. If I were you I wouldn't give them the time of day, but yes they should b e educated
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