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Why can't our adult kids live with us.?
19681989
Member Posts: 37 Connected
Please be kind folks if your reading this.
I know it's a subject that divides people.
I know I won't live for ever, my sons needs are complex. He's 29,im 50
Why do people assume he shouldn't live in the family home.
My friend who works as a senior support worker has been telling me for years.
He has a separate social life, support workers too do things with, day service he loves. I don't think I'm Co dependant.
I know there are lovely support workers out there. I've tried respite so many times he hates it and becomes too upset.
Please help anyone who can give me non judgemental advice.
My friend came today and we were discussing carers allowance £66.45a week, rate and I said it was very low. I do 100 hours plus a week through night also with my son.
I said if I did the hours for someone else I would have employment status, and other options employed people do.
We debated this I said it wasn't fair and she said "we'll the goverment expect him too leave at 18 to live independently." so...you wouldn't be in this position.
I know it's a subject that divides people.
I know I won't live for ever, my sons needs are complex. He's 29,im 50
Why do people assume he shouldn't live in the family home.
My friend who works as a senior support worker has been telling me for years.
He has a separate social life, support workers too do things with, day service he loves. I don't think I'm Co dependant.
I know there are lovely support workers out there. I've tried respite so many times he hates it and becomes too upset.
Please help anyone who can give me non judgemental advice.
My friend came today and we were discussing carers allowance £66.45a week, rate and I said it was very low. I do 100 hours plus a week through night also with my son.
I said if I did the hours for someone else I would have employment status, and other options employed people do.
We debated this I said it wasn't fair and she said "we'll the goverment expect him too leave at 18 to live independently." so...you wouldn't be in this position.
Replies
Good luck.
It is down to your son and your decision if he is happy at home and so are you having him then it shouldn't be a problem.
I would suggest down the line you look into things for the future so he isn't left on his own with no support but there is plenty of time for that.
I do agree the amount for carers is low and feel it should have incremental values dependant on amount of time care is given
Hope alls well with you and your family.
I know friends that have adult sons early thirties still at home.
Yes I agree, he has a relative that will care for him in the eventuality I'm not here.
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It is meant to assess what you need to be able to look after the person you care for and also do the things you need to do.
So looks at respite, independence, any other responsibilities you have and your capacity and well being.
Carers UK can offer lots of help, you may have a local carers group/charity in your area that could do the assessment, sometimes local arrangements are made as social care are too busy.
https://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advice/practical-support/getting-care-and-support/carers-assessment
Please do let us know how you get on @19681989, or if there is anything else we can do to help.
Scope
Tell us what you think?
Complete our feedback form to help us to improve your community.
many thanks and all the best for the future. I wish I had the perfect advice. I just know that worry
I have seen what's out there in my area and that's not for us.
As long as he's happy, I'm doing a good job ,I'm well he's will stay at home and enjoy community activities with other people and support .
Please don't worry he's six , your doing great.take care.x