Cerebral Palsy and Pregnant? - Page 2 — Scope | Disability forum
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Cerebral Palsy and Pregnant?

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  • Chloe_Scope
    Chloe_Scope Posts: 10,586 Disability Gamechanger
    Really glad to hear how things are going @Hayls20
    Scope

  • Hayls20
    Hayls20 Community member Posts: 36 Courageous
    Thanks @Chloe_Scope!

    @Richard_Scope -  if this baby doesn't come out looking like a ginger nut or custard cream, we've got away with one!

    Definitely - don't get me wrong I'm still terrified, but I feel a lot more reassured now.

    Just need to think of a nice way to make the announcement to friends now!
  • Chloe_Scope
    Chloe_Scope Posts: 10,586 Disability Gamechanger
    Aw I hope you can come up with a way to announce it! Congratulations! 
    Scope

  • Hayls20
    Hayls20 Community member Posts: 36 Courageous
  • Hayls20
    Hayls20 Community member Posts: 36 Courageous
    Hi all 😊 it's been a long time since I have been on, but for some reason I was clearing out my old emails and forgot all about this account. Just thought I'd pop on and thank everyone for their help and support from way back, now got a very adorable but energetic toddler! Not been the easiest ride for obvious reasons, but very much a constant learning journey! x
  • Richard_Scope
    Richard_Scope Posts: 3,638 Scope online community team
    Hi @Hayls20
    So great to hear from you! I'm not surprised that you haven't had time to post, chasing after a toddler! I remember those years very well. So how have you been?
    Scope
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  • Hayls20
    Hayls20 Community member Posts: 36 Courageous
    Tired, @Richard_Scope, tired!

    I've been good thanks, very much learning day by day that it's totally okay if I do things differently to literally everyone and that I'm worth/capable of doing this (which isn't always easy to remember when people are starting/judgemental). How is everyone here? 
  • Richard_Scope
    Richard_Scope Posts: 3,638 Scope online community team
    You really are capable! As for learning, I think all parents learn day by day. I know I still am and my daughter is 14 now and that comes with a whole host of new challenges!  :D
    Scope
    Specialist Information Officer and Cerebral Palsy Programme Lead

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  • Hayls20
    Hayls20 Community member Posts: 36 Courageous
    It's taken a while for the confidence in my independence to come back with a bang, but I think I'm just about there with it! Very true and oh I do not doubt that, I've got all that to look forward to! I should say, if anyone else ever finds themselves in the situation I did, always happy to help and share my experiences in any way 🙌 
  • Alex_Alumni
    Alex_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,562 Disability Gamechanger
    I have been catching up with this thread, it's wonderful to hear that you are doing well with your toddler lately @Hayls20 :)

    When reading I could certainly resonate with what you said about that first GP doubting you could 'do the deed', (as someone who also has CP), I was discussing contraception with a doctor recently, who seemed to imply that I might have 'complications with pregnancy' and should have a serious discussion about it all, and only then asking my age!

    Thanks for offering to share your experience, that's what makes this community the supportive place it is. Hope you enjoy the weekend, and take care.
    Online Community Coordinator
    Scope

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  • Hayls20
    Hayls20 Community member Posts: 36 Courageous
    Thanks @Alex_Scope!

    I'm hoping that first GP was maybe just an age thing, and while I totally get that they might have to make sure anyone seen as 'vulnerable' isn't being treated badly, surely it's about time they realised we're just people also like that with our partners! 

    Yeah, totally! Plus, everyone even with the same condition will still present differently so it's not one size fits all as they seem to think. Definitely caught them in a panic at first anyway, lol!  
  • Alex_Alumni
    Alex_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,562 Disability Gamechanger
    Things are certainly better than they were, but I think there's still a stigma around sex and disabilities, for sure! :)
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  • Hayls20
    Hayls20 Community member Posts: 36 Courageous
    Oh, definitely. Thankfully for me it was mainly just that first older GP and the rest didn't really judge, so that's progress!
  • UnseenGhost
    UnseenGhost Scope Member Posts: 7 Connected
    I’ve just found this thread and want to say congrats to @Hayls20 - glad to hear you’ve had such a wonderful experience. 

    My partner is quad CP and a full time chair user and I am a double leg amp virtually full time chair user - it’d be interesting to know if there are any disabled couples who are parents here too, it’s a scary thing to think about but I know if my partner can see how it’s a possibility then we could be amazing parents. He’s (rightly) concerned at us both being disabled and in the ways that we are, and though it’s a few years off if we do have a child, we want to see as much research and real stories as we can - we’ve found there aren’t many couples like us out there tho! 😅
  • Hayls20
    Hayls20 Community member Posts: 36 Courageous
    Thanks @UnseenGhost!

    That it, isn't it, visibility? How do you know you can be it without seeing it? If it's a few years off then that should give you time to do that research hopefully! 

    If I can be of any help, I'm an open book or just send a PM x
  • Abi1991
    Abi1991 Community member Posts: 2 Listener
    Hi! I also have cerebral palsy and I’m a mum to a 12 year old girl and an 8 year old girl who has spina bifida and uses a wheelchair. I’d just like to say a huge congratulations! In terms of pregnancy, I was actually surprised how well my body handled it. I had a natural birth with my first and a c section with my second (although this was because of her disability and medical needs, not mine) Essentially, it’s just about finding ways of doing things and adapting things to suit your needs. You will probably surprise yourself how well you do. Nowadays, my 12 year old is a registered young carer and is the most mature, selfless and empathetic young girl of her age I’ve ever met. I’m now in a new relationship with a partner who is also disabled (not my girls’ biological dad) and we make things work surprisingly well. The only thing I would say is, be open to the idea that you may have some social service involvement, be open to accepting help, and don’t be surprised if certain professionals such as midwives seem out of their depth in caring for you and your baby. It’s amazing in this day and age that disability and parenthood is very rarely thought of as being compatible. Expect to be frustrated, patronised and have to do a lot of asserting yourself to get what you need. It’s a long road ahead but just know your baby will 100 percent be worth the struggle! X
  • Hayls20
    Hayls20 Community member Posts: 36 Courageous
    Thanks so much @Abi1991! I was surprised how well mine handled it, too - especially given the scare stories. It's very much a constant journey of trying, testing, failing and adapting!

    That is really true, and I've actually found I've been able to be more assertive because I know what works for us better than any professional who knows what's best 'on paper' or theoretically!

    Already tempted to do It again but he says no! 😅 

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