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Advice about son's finances

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dml2
dml2 Community member Posts: 5 Listener
edited November 2020 in Children, parents, and families
Hi our son had just started living In supported accommodation . We were managing his benefit money  but then he decided he wanted to and we felt obliged to give him his bank details, card etc. However he is getting into a mess , and the supported accommodation have asked us to takeover  his money again. We are very reluctant as we feel that the staff should come up with a better plan to help him . Although they keep his card In the office, apparently they are legally bound to give him his card if he requests it. Can anyone advise how he can be helped without us having to be involved 
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  • Ross_Alumni
    Ross_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,652 Disability Gamechanger
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    Hello @dml2 and welcome to the community, thanks for joining.

    I'm sorry to read about the issue you're having with your son's finances, it must be very stressful.

    I have moved your discussion to our parents section so that it hopefully gets more responses :) 

    Again, welcome and I hope the community can be here to support you.
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  • janer1967
    janer1967 Community member Posts: 21,964 Disability Gamechanger
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    Hi and welcome maybe his bank can help and set some sorts of limits eg no overspend or set a max spend daily or in one transaction 

    I think they should be able to help 
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  • woodbine
    woodbine Community member Posts: 11,621 Disability Gamechanger
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    hi @dml2 welcome to scope I think @janer1967 has a good solution for you.
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  • dml2
    dml2 Community member Posts: 5 Listener
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    Yes he can't go overdrawn but he cancelled all his drect debits so now he's run up some debts!  I think I will phone the bank tomorrow to see what else they can put in place and get some advice.  A daily spending limit would help!  thanks
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  • poppy123456
    poppy123456 Community member Posts: 54,030 Disability Gamechanger
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    HI and welcome,

    If he has the mental capacity then there's not really much you can do here. It's his money in his bank account and you can't just ask his bank to put a limit on what he spends. As the staff have correctly said, if he asks for the card they have no option but to give it to him and this will be the same if you have his card. Legally, there's not much you can do, if he's got mental capacity. An assessment would be needed to decide whether he has or hasn't.




    I would appreciate it if members wouldn't tag me please. I have all notifcations turned off and wouldn't want a member thinking i'm being rude by not replying.
    If i see a question that i know the answer to i will try my best to help.
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  • dml2
    dml2 Community member Posts: 5 Listener
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    Thanks for your comments - it does become a problem though that he goes through all his benefit and then has no money to buy any food for the next few weeks or pay bills so then what? Its a huge worry for us
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  • poppy123456
    poppy123456 Community member Posts: 54,030 Disability Gamechanger
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    I totally understand this but if he has mental capacity you can't tell him what he can and can't do with his money, all you can do is advise him. It maybe possible for your son to ask for a daily spending limit to be placed on his card but it's unlikely that they would do this with a request from you.
    I would appreciate it if members wouldn't tag me please. I have all notifcations turned off and wouldn't want a member thinking i'm being rude by not replying.
    If i see a question that i know the answer to i will try my best to help.
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  • dml2
    dml2 Community member Posts: 5 Listener
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    He has a severe mental illness so while he has mental capacity in some areas, he doesn’t in others.  I’m obviously going to have to apply to be an appointee for his account. I didn’t want to get involved but there doesn’t seem to be any other way.  How can I let him run up debt and run out of money for food!
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  • poppy123456
    poppy123456 Community member Posts: 54,030 Disability Gamechanger
    edited November 2020
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    Being someone's appointee applies to benefit claims only. You can't control his bank account in this way because it's his account. You can't say someone doesn't have capacity unless they've been assessed as not having it. Please see the link i posted above.

    Does he have a social worker? if so then i'd be speaking to them.

    I totally understand everything you're saying here because my daughter also struggles with this sort of thing but thankfully she lives with me so it's easier to control her money. I'm also her appointee for her PIP claim, so that money gets paid to me and i transfer a little at a time to her so she doesn't just spend it all at once, which i know she would.

    Edit to add, you could be his appointee for his benefits claim but he would also have to agree to this, if he can't manage his own claim. The money would be paid into an account in your name and you would be solely responsible for his benefits, including reporting all changes, receiving all letters and forms to fill in. https://www.gov.uk/become-appointee-for-someone-claiming-benefits



    I would appreciate it if members wouldn't tag me please. I have all notifcations turned off and wouldn't want a member thinking i'm being rude by not replying.
    If i see a question that i know the answer to i will try my best to help.
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  • dml2
    dml2 Community member Posts: 5 Listener
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    Thanks I plan to talk to his care workers today. If he won’t agree then I feel a bit stuck!
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  • poppy123456
    poppy123456 Community member Posts: 54,030 Disability Gamechanger
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    It's a very difficult situation. Do let us know how you get on as it may help others in this situation.
    I would appreciate it if members wouldn't tag me please. I have all notifcations turned off and wouldn't want a member thinking i'm being rude by not replying.
    If i see a question that i know the answer to i will try my best to help.
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  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Scope Posts: 12,492 Disability Gamechanger
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    Hello and welcome to the community @dml2 :) As Poppy said, please do let us know how you get on today.
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