Such a mess !

I have worked for 14 years and suffered long term
mental health in the form of anxiety, which can become severe, depression , self harm and chronic asthma. I’ve never ever claimed anything before as I didn’t feel I needed to and had a successful Carer , my last role was an NHS frontline worker for 5 years and then onto a management role. And was able to keep mental health controlled with medication and a few bouts of therapy over the years and my asthma the same just meds and kept up with reviews.

However in 2019 I lost my grandmother, whom I was close with my whole life, I even cared for her at home til the end. Isuffered a major breakdown I wasn’t even aware of it at the time,but I became suicidal made more than a few attempts at my
life, ended up being saved by police, work had police break my door down at home, I began self harmimg Again and have never recovered. In July 2019 my GP signed me off work as I began self neglecting not eating sleeping depressed beyond words not leaving the house not even leaving my bed,My son went to stay with my mum and was there for 10 months.
October 2019 I applied for pip as advised by my GP. A worker at the CAB filled out my form for me. I was given an assessment where the lady asked the most vulnerable questions, seen my fresh cuts all over me and discussed how the week before I’d again made an attempt at my life, my partner was even sobbing and he’s a big burly man as I’ve now become his patient not partner ! He reminds me to wash , he brushes my hair, he reminds me to cook , take my meds , picks up my meds, does most of the house work, looks after my boys, enables me to be a mum to some degree. He told her how he had to give up his long term employment for a part time window cleaning job with his uncle so he was more on hand For me. 

I was scored 0. Based on gaining qualifications in college 16 years ago and managing my asthma well. 

Nothing was mentioned about any of the above. 

My illness was outlined in 34 poxy sentences from
Her. Noting but lies and nothing relevant documented. I asked for a mandatory reconsideration, I was refused fast ! So obv not looked at any evidence. 

Meanwhile I was contacted by the lcwra , bare in mind I have no idea about benefits as I haven’t needed  them til this breakdown.  So I was flipping on them thinking they were scammers haha because of my severe anxiety ??... luckily they understood and granted me the lcwra on the basis of understanding my illness And my supporting evidence. 

Coming back to the pip , I submitted an appeal letter with sick notes from July 2019-April 2021 (I no longer need to submit them as I’ve been awarded lcwra) also all my prescriptions covering these years however I didn’t understand and sent the letter to PIP and not the tribunal place. So when I rang up a man was abrupt told me it wasn’t there then said oh yea it’s on the desk noones looked at it yet. Then when asked about my condition , i explained and he responded with “it’s not a councelling service” and I said well I’m trying to help you understand he said “well that’s just it I don’t I’m no professional” laughed and said “look ya can cook a meal if your hungry can’t you, you can walk etc” I said to him no I may be able to physically sometimes , but I don’t unless told to, my mind is in another place I don’t feed myself unless reminded: I sit and worry all day about what I should be doing instead of doing it, i walk up and down 10’times looking out the window anxiously for nothing !... does my mental health not count because it’s invisible !?... because I have some intelligence, I can’t have mental health ?! It’s so unfair ! 

I’ve now been in touch with my local MP who’s written to them, and I’ was then sent a new claim
form out by that horrible man, I spoke with another man today who assured me I don’t need to fill out the new claim form, he’s submitted it for another reconsideration with a new case handler. But I’m so concerned that the only assessment they’ve got is 34 sentences of ****... I’m so stressed and upset. 

I’ve recently been in hospital for [Removed by moderator - description of self-harm] so bad with all the anxiety, depression and financial stress I’m suffering, I’ve always worked and could do over time if needed stuff . Now I can barely give my kids anything and all I want is to get better and go back to work, but right now I’m not mentally capable! Why can’t they understand that ? My partner has
now given up work completely to care for me since this last episode of self harm.