Why is it so hard to go green when you're disabled?

I have a huge amount of traffic that comes to my door – bulk-bought items like loo roll and cat food or essentials such as my prescription and weekly food shop.

Although trying to navigate my life in a disabling world is a justifiable reason for why I have everything sent to my door, as I look at the pile of cardboard boxes littering my flat, a pang of guilt often washes over me. ‘This really isn’t great for the environment is it, Sam?’ I chastise myself. 

Love them or hate them but companies such as Amazon have been a real game changer for me – being able to get almost everything I need without relying someone else not only makes me feel in control of my life, but I don’t feel like a burden on others – a feeling many disabled people internalise. 

I think the luxury, yes for me it’s a luxury, of popping to your corner shop for some milk – or in my case, wine – is lost on most non-disabled people. If I run out of something I can often feel trapped, waiting several days for someone else to get it for me. The pandemic added to my use of door-to-door services without a doubt. I shielded for the best part of a year and a half, rarely leaving home. I actually looked forward to the daily interaction from the postman. 

Honestly, as a wheelchair user I’ve always relied on the convenience of door-to-door service I’d be lost without it. Mostly because many shops, roads, pavements are inaccessible – treacherous with potholes and lack of drop curbs – and navigating these obstacles can seem too much trouble and unsafe. 

I know it’s bad for the environment. Like many, I have really been emotionally affected by the images from around the world of the effects of global warming. I’ve tried to implement small changes within my home to become more eco-aware such as using rechargeable batteries and a water filter instead of plastic bottles. 

But the more pressure I feel, the more I find that being environmentally friendly is really rather difficult – moreover, the incentives and expectations are often ableist in the sense that they are not designed with the disabled community in mind.

Disabled people are often vilified as a drain on society and have been as far back as time but the pandemic seems to have made it worse. So much so that I have avoided sharing my consumer habits for fear of being shamed. 

I want to become more self-sufficient. The pandemic has highlighted how my safety net can be taken away in a heartbeat. The less I need to rely on others to maintain my independence, the less frustration I feel when I’m let down.

I feel there should be more done to encourage the use of products that are both environmentally sustainable and super handy to me as a disabled woman.