First post and the feeling of being an imposter — Scope | Disability forum
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First post and the feeling of being an imposter

HanzRolo
HanzRolo Community member Posts: 60 Courageous
edited June 2021 in Work and employment
Hello everyone
I have a little bit of imposter syndrome in joining the community.  I'm currently at a difficult crossroads in my life because I really don't know where to go next.  I have chronic pain and it impacts on my mobility.  I now walk everywhere with a stick and have had my bathroom equipped with a handrail beside the toilet and a bath board for getting in and out of the bath.  It's all a bit overwhelming as it all changed when I turned in my sleep.
I was diagnosed with dyslexia and I am dyspraxic too with visual stress.  I went back to university 10 years ago in the hope I could work within the heritage sector.  I recently lost my job due to my on going health problems as I can no longer stand for longer than 10 minutes at a time.  Most of the jobs I have had experience in as been on my feet and now I am struggling to comprehend and process what happened and what to do next.
My mood has been very low for the two years that I have been in pain.  I feel completely lost as I don't know how to move forward with my career.  It's all just a bit miserable.  I've come to terms with the loss of my job, it was 2 years before they let me go (thanks to Covid) but I don't know if I should go back to university and what to study and what would be accessible to me.  The office jobs I have had, I was never there long but suffered a lot of migraines due to fluorescent lighting.
Sorry, a bit of a miserable first post.  I just feel a bit lost and I feel strange discussing chronic pain and the impact it's having on me physically and mentally.
Answers on a postcard as to what I do next.
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Comments

  • janer1967
    janer1967 Community member Posts: 21,964 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi and welcome to the community You are certainly not an imposter and are most welcome 

    Sorry you are ar such a crossroads as for future work there are disability coaches at job centres and also on here a work support programme in the employment section you might find helpful 
  • HanzRolo
    HanzRolo Community member Posts: 60 Courageous
    Thank you.  I have been thinking about getting some careers advice, but I don't know how accessible they are.  This is all so new to me.  I had hoped that the chronic pain would ease, but I've been told that it's something I have to learn to live with.  It's all a bit of a bizarre nightmare with Covid thrown in for good measure.  In the past there's always been a silver lining a little sooner than it has this time.  I keep saying "we'll get there, we'll get there."   :#  
    Sorry it's a bit of a down in the dumps day today.
  • janer1967
    janer1967 Community member Posts: 21,964 Disability Gamechanger
    No problem the job centres are accessible and 4he scope programme is all from your home 
  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Scope Posts: 12,488 Disability Gamechanger
    Welcome to the community @HanzRolo :) You're absolutely welcome here on the community, and what you're experiencing is completely valid. 

    As Janer1967 has mentioned, Scope run some employment services that are designed to support disabled people in getting into work. They're accessible and friendly, and used to working with people in your position :) 

    If you decide to work again, you should make sure that you're getting the reasonable adjustments at work that you're entitled to. Is that something you've heard of before? Adjustments can also be made if you're in education, and many students study successfully with conditions such as dyslexia and dyspraxia.

    There's no need to apologise. Have you been getting any support for your mental health? Is that something you think could help? 
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  • HanzRolo
    HanzRolo Community member Posts: 60 Courageous
    Thank you @janer1967 I will definitely take a look!  :)

    @Tori_Scope thank you.  It's just all so new and strange even though it's been two years since it all started.
    Yes, I was diagnosed with the paperwork to back me up for dyslexia and I have always mentioned on my job applications since the diagnosis about dyslexia and dyspraxia.  Two of the three employers I had were great with it, one was extremely supportive.  The third was a nightmare as I only had support when my line manager was on the same shift.  So I've already had both the positives at college, uni and in the workplace as well as one negative.  
    I haven't done anything with mental health to be honest.  I think I've been more concerned with my physical health more than anything else.  I've always done better working on my feet than behind a screen so it's that which I'm struggling to fully process and turn things around to being more positive.  
    I've been very lucky that my partner is a gem and has not only been working within care, but looking out for me and both his parents.  My family are all very supportive and help with transporting me around to appointments (before Covid).  The NHS videos over the computer with my physio are amazing because I don't have to travel and aggravate the pain.  So I have been trying to look for positives, it's just now that I've been cut loose from employment, I am lost.
  • leeCal
    leeCal Community member Posts: 7,550 Disability Gamechanger
    Welcome to the community @HanzRolo. And best wishes ?

    “This is my simple religion. No need for temples. No need for complicated philosophy. Your own mind, your own heart is the temple. Your philosophy is simple kindness.” 
    ― Dalai Lama XIV

  • HanzRolo
    HanzRolo Community member Posts: 60 Courageous
    @leeCal thank you so much  :)

  • chiarieds
    chiarieds Community member Posts: 16,009 Disability Gamechanger
    Welcome to this friendly & supportive community @HanzRolo -  I do hope you try Scope's 'Support to Work' programme about which I've heard nothing but good, & it is accessible & geared up to people with disabilities as Tori says.
  • atlas47
    atlas47 Community member Posts: 238 Pioneering
    Hi @HanzRolo

    Good morning.

    There are a number of organisations out there, to support you, into appropriate employment.

    It’s a matter of making contact, to see what’s on offer.

    You could try the Prince’s Trust, helpline tel:0800 842 842. They offer such things as mentorship, training programmes and various grants.

    You should search locally if there are any “Enterprise Zones” available. They are usually funded by local government, jointly with the private sector. A first port of call would be your local government.

    You should also contact your local Jobcentre Plus, to make an appointment with a Disability Employment Advisor (DEA), they are very supportive in assisting people returning to the workplace.

    You should also contact, your local Access to Work, again via your local Jobcentre.
    They offer numerous levels of support, to enable your return to work.

    Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on.
  • HanzRolo
    HanzRolo Community member Posts: 60 Courageous
    Thank you everyone.  I somehow missed that Scope is England and Wales and not UK wide.  I think I'll be able to take most of the information though even though I'm in Scotland (oops!).  I think most of it should be the same for those of us north of the border anyway  :)

    I'm going to have a good old look around now to see what I can find.  It was nice having a little vent in a "safe zone"  :)
  • cat_hug
    cat_hug Community member Posts: 161 Pioneering
    @HanzRolo welcome and good luck with getting the help and support you need.
    There's  always a space within this amazing community to vent, get advice, and just some friendly support.
    Sending a virtual hug and best wishes

    Cat xx
  • atlas47
    atlas47 Community member Posts: 238 Pioneering
    edited June 2021
    Hi @HanzRolo

    For your information, all of my suggestion apply in Scotland, but odd name change might apply. Prince’ Trust, is called Princes’s Trust of Scotland.

    Check with your member of the Scottish Assembly, to see what else might be available. Remember you good folk of Scotland, don’t pay tuition fees.

    Keep us informed.

    Great scenes of The Tartan Army besieging London, most are having liquid lunches!!


  • Cher_Alumni
    Cher_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 5,741 Disability Gamechanger
    edited June 2021
    Hello @HanzRolo and a warm welcome from me :)

    You mentioned that you didn't know how accessible universities would be, and having had some good/bad experiences.  If you do decide to venture down the academic pathway again, there's support you would be entitled to, such as Disabled Students' Allowance.  And, you'd also have access to a disability advisor who would produce a study support plan, outlining reasonable adjustments to be made to help with your studies (this would be forwarded onto all course leaders, on a need to know basis).  

    All courses should be accessible to disabled students, so please don't let a fear of non-inclusivity deter you from applying.  Maybe it would be worth arranging an appointment with a local university's disability services team to explore what other support could be offered and talk through your worries.  Also, you could start browsing some universities courses to see if anything jumps out?

    Take care and I hope you're having a lovely Friday.  
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  • HanzRolo
    HanzRolo Community member Posts: 60 Courageous
    Hi @atlas47
    Sadly, I'm a bit too old for Princes' Trust but thank you.  I had a look to check but I'm over 30.  I know that they changed rules here on postgraduate recently, which wasn't the case when I first graduated, so that's definitely a bonus if I can decide what to do next in education.  That's really what I'm stuck with now.
    Haha!  Yeah I saw on the news all the people who had travelled for the football today.  I have a Welsh connection too, so I have my big Welsh flag ready for their games.
  • HanzRolo
    HanzRolo Community member Posts: 60 Courageous
    Hi @Cher_Scope
    I had some great support in college (the second time) and at university.  I was diagnosed late but at the second college so everything was in place for me with the Claro software, extra time, proof reader etc.  I think it's my new mobility difficulties that I'm more concerned by as it's all so new to me.  I've already looked at a few courses and seen that they might be a bit too physical for me.  Workplace was hit or miss with the dyslexia/dyspraxia but I always let employers know in the interviews as well as in my application forms.  Since the diagnosis with the piece of paper, I'm not scared of admitting that I need support with that at all.  
    I'm still not 100% sure with it being chronic pain how seriously it's taken or how much support there is for that.  I have many friends with fibromyalgia (not the same as me) who have had a mixed bag of support if any at all.  It all just seems a bit new and scary haha  :/  I had issues with ESA which was thankfully overturned in my favour so it left me a bit shaky. 
  • Cher_Alumni
    Cher_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 5,741 Disability Gamechanger
    @HanzRolo I understand it all feeling a bit wobbly and uncertain.  I wonder, do you think something like online volunteering might help you regain some confidence?  There are lots of opportunities you can take up virtually and that could be flexible around your needs.  If you visit the Do IT volunteering website, you can search for volunteering roles from home in the right hand side filter bar.  That's maybe something to think about?  :) 
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  • Katharine_Alumni
    Katharine_Alumni Community member, Scope Member Posts: 66 Courageous
    Hi @HanzRolo
    Just wanted to say hello and thanks for posting. 
    As everyone has said here, there are different opportunities, but do, defintely, take time to think about what works for you.

    Take care, there is always space here!
    Best wishes
    Katharine
    Katharine McKnight
    Careers Adviser, Career Pathways

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