Hi, my name is Amira! — Scope | Disability forum
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Hi, my name is Amira!

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Amira
Amira Community member Posts: 4 Listener
in Start here and say hello!
Hi my name is amira and my daughter's name is Arisha, she is 4 years old and having some additional needs. 
I'm new to this  forum  scope and everything here
My first language is not English so sometimes its hard for me to explain things properly to someone and to fully understand aswel. 
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  • Cher_Alumni
    Cher_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 5,741 Disability Gamechanger
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    Hello @Amira and welcome to our community.  What lovely names you and your daughter have  :)  I'm glad you found us so we can offer you support, if you need it.

    How are you managing with Arisha's additional needs?  Is there a question you have that we can help answer?

    Please don't worry about English not being your first language.  Your message made perfect sense so please take your time and let us know in what way we could possibly help.
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  • Amira
    Amira Community member Posts: 4 Listener
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    Thank you so much, I'm struggling with her and it's really hard, many authorities are involved and helping to sort out things regarding her special needs. 
    But at home it's difficult for me to look after her by myself, my husband thinks I do nothing he said you got nothing to do u just stay home doing nothing why can't u look after a child, I get so stressed all the time feels like I have no life now I feel like am also getting sick and really stressful.
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  • janer1967
    janer1967 Community member Posts: 21,964 Disability Gamechanger
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    Hi and welcome to the community 

    You are doing a great job bringing up your daughter 

    Let your husband look after her for a day and he might appreciate what you do

    We are always here to help you 
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  • chiarieds
    chiarieds Community member Posts: 16,103 Disability Gamechanger
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    Hello @Amira - and welcome to this online community. Your English is very good. :) It sounds like you very much need some support for yourself, & Scope may be able to help if you have a look here: https://www.scope.org.uk/family-services/
    There may also be helpful information for you here: https://www.scope.org.uk/advice-and-support/families-with-disabled-children/
    As you will see, there is nearly always someone here to talk to, and you will find the forum both friendly and supportive. :)
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  • Amira
    Amira Community member Posts: 4 Listener
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    janer1967 said:
    Hi and welcome to the community 

    You are doing a great job bringing up your daughter 

    Let your husband look after her for a day and he might appreciate what you do

    We are always here to help you 
    Thank you so much, no he will not keep her he will say  okay you go to work on my place then and I know you can't do it you are scared to drive on  traffic places  ? this he said today morning when I complained him that you make arisha stressed too much by taking away her kitten she loves the most now she is in too much stress and crying so you are the responsible now make her feel better then he replied you have nothing else to do rather then looking after her you don't cook everyday the house is mess what else you do .
    I feel like a failure unable to manage my duties towards my family. 
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  • janer1967
    janer1967 Community member Posts: 21,964 Disability Gamechanger
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    You are not a failure at all 

    I'm not wanting to speak out of turn and I don't know you or your family but it doesn't sound like you are getting the support you need 

    You need to keep yourself healthy for your daughter 

    Have you spoke to your doctor about how you are feeling they can help with stress and anxiety 
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  • Cher_Alumni
    Cher_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 5,741 Disability Gamechanger
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    @Amira Thank you for explaining a little more to us about your situation.  I'm sorry you're feeling like a failure but want to reassure you that you absolutely aren't one.  Caring for a child with additional needs can be both rewarding and challenging, leaving little time for things like house-work to be done.  You'd have to have super powers to do everything so give yourself a pat on the back for being a loving mum who deeply cares for her daughter.

    @chiarieds linked to some of Scope's family services earlier on the thread, and I'd encourage you to particularly look at registering for the Navigate: emotional support service.  This is a free online programme designed to help care-givers of disabled children with the following: 
    • organising your thoughts and feelings
    • practical advice and suggestions
    • coping strategies and insights
    • taking positive actions and helping you with emotional wellbeing
    You'd also have weekly check-ins with a friendly advisor who would help you one to one.  Please do give the link above a look and consider applying online.

    Also, carer stress can really take its toll so think about visiting your GP to talk about the emotions you describe.  They are there to look after you and will be able to offer some suggestions on ways to feel better.

    Lastly, it might be worth having a carers assessment to look at what support could be put in place to help you keep well.  Here's a Scope information page about carer's assessments and you can ask for one by contacting your local authority.

    If any of this doesn't make sense, please let me know as I'll be happy to re-word to make it easier to understand :)
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  • Ross_Alumni
    Ross_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,652 Disability Gamechanger
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    Hello @Amira

    Welcome to the community, sorry to hear about what you're going through but you absolutely don't sound like a failure to me. You appear to be doing a superb job
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  • Amira
    Amira Community member Posts: 4 Listener
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    Thank you so much dear ?
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  • Ross_Alumni
    Ross_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,652 Disability Gamechanger
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    Amira said:
    Thank you so much dear ?
    You are welcome. How have things been going lately?
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