Hi, my name is Vidarsbane! — Scope | Disability forum
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Hi, my name is Vidarsbane!

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Vidarsbane
Vidarsbane Community member Posts: 18 Listener
in Start here and say hello!
Hi everyone, it was suggested to me that I give this site a try for some additional support. I was injured at work in June 2018, I suffered a violent assault and had my leg broken in 12 places below the knee. I spent almost 5 months in hospital on bed rest, some of that in intensive care. I didn't do well after the surgery. And now have 2 plates and 18 pins in there. I've had no end to problems since and am feeling utterly miserable. I am in constant pain, get almost perpetual cellulitis and am always swollen to one degree or another, often so bad it feels like my toes are going to snap off. Despite years of this, I'm no closer to being fully recovered and back to normal, the consultant says yes the bones have healed. They've given me so many tests but nobody can seem to tell me what the hell is wrong with me. It doesn't help I'm 6ft8 and now pushing around 32st.

I had a very physically demanding job before this and while I've always been on the chunkier side of things was always pretty active. I hate not being able do things for myself, hate not being able to look after myself properly etc but then I guess you guys can relate to that better than most.

Anyways, that's me in a nut shell for now. I'm happy to talk with anyone and it would be great to know some people who just get it :smile:.

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  • janer1967
    janer1967 Community member Posts: 21,964 Disability Gamechanger
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    Hi and welcome to the community Feel free to join in or ask any questions 

    I am sorry to hear about your situation and we can all empathise with you 

    This is a great community to be a part of and hope we can offer you some support 
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  • Vidarsbane
    Vidarsbane Community member Posts: 18 Listener
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    Thank you for the warm welcome, it means a lot. And while I know their are plenty of people who have it far worse than I ever could it's good to know that there's a community like this online. It might sound really silly but despite the reality for the longest time I've avoided thinking of myself as having a disability. I've chosen to think of myself as recovering etc but as the years begin to roll on I think my condition is going to keep getting worse over time.
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  • leeCal
    leeCal Community member Posts: 7,550 Disability Gamechanger
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    Hi @Vidarsbane, welcome to the community and best wishes ?

    “This is my simple religion. No need for temples. No need for complicated philosophy. Your own mind, your own heart is the temple. Your philosophy is simple kindness.” 
    ― Dalai Lama XIV

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  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Scope Posts: 12,492 Disability Gamechanger
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    Welcome to the community @Vidarsbane :) I'm sorry to hear about the assault you experienced, and that this is still impacting you.

    Have you been referred to a pain management clinic, or anything like that, to help you manage your pain levels while they try and work out what's going on?

    It also sounds as though the pain and other physical symptoms you're experiencing are affecting your mental health, and I'm sure that going through such a traumatic event must be having an impact too. Are you receiving any support for your mental health? 
    It might sound really silly but despite the reality for the longest time I've avoided thinking of myself as having a disability. I've chosen to think of myself as recovering etc but as the years begin to roll on I think my condition is going to keep getting worse over time.
    It's not silly at all, and many people experience similar feelings to you in this regard. Whether or not you want to start using the term 'disabled' to describe yourself, the community is here for you :) It's a big adjustment to make, I'm sure, so take your time and ask us questions or share your experiences any time you need. 
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  • Vidarsbane
    Vidarsbane Community member Posts: 18 Listener
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    Thank you. 

    I'd be lying if I said my mental health hadn't suffered the past few years as a result of all this. At first I was pretty zen about the whole thing. This happened to me because I stepped in to protect a colleague from being seriously injured by a group of 5-6 men. I knew I'd done the right thing despite the high cost and thought after a few months to a year I'd be back on my feet so to speak. I'm not shy of hardwork.

    But after said colleague started trying to ruin my reputation after it got out he ran away and left me to fight alone, and after the 2 they caught got away with community service and I was denied my chance to say my piece and face them in court. I've certainly got angry and felt depressed. Now not being able to take my daughters to the park and push them on swings etc just makes me feel worse and worse.

    I'm getting what help I can but it still stinks and I regret defending my colleague. 
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  • janer1967
    janer1967 Community member Posts: 21,964 Disability Gamechanger
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    So sorry about the whole situation you have experienced it must be hard to come to terms with 

    Accepting a disability or long-term illness is similar to the grieving process and takes time and will see you go through different emotional stages 

    We are here to help and try support 
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