Those of you with vulnerable children, how do you cope knowing the challenges?

CoffeeFirst
CoffeeFirst Scope Member Posts: 202 Empowering
edited August 2021 in Autism and neurodiversity
Myself included as my adult daughter has ADHD, possibly on the Autistic Spectrum, how do you keep going?

Thank you for sharing.

Comments

  • Ross_Alumni
    Ross_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,611 Championing
    edited August 2021
    Hi @CoffeeFirst

    Thanks for posting, I do not have a child but I hope others will be able to offer their insight :) 
  • CoffeeFirst
    CoffeeFirst Scope Member Posts: 202 Empowering
    Hi Ross, I’m not sure I worded the question that way, and it’s changed the meaning of what I was trying to ask. Please can you delete the question. Thank you.
  • euro
    euro Online Community Member Posts: 73 Contributor
    Hi @CoffeeFirst

    Your user name was one of my coping strategies together with heaps of hope and reminding myself repeatedly that love is a verb.

    I quite literally switched off for 10 to 15 minutes every 3 or 4 hours and took myself and a cup of coffee into the garden or my bedroom.  I told them I was having a coffee break and after that,  didn't respond to questions, demands or tantrums until I'd finished my coffee. It was really hard at first.  My eldest is autistic and the youngest has ADHD as well. They were 4 and 6 when I started doing it (both in their early 30's now) and I was really afraid of the damage they might do to themselves, each other and the house whilst I 'ignored' them.  It didn't take long - maybe 2 weeks - for them to accept I was 'unavailable' and leave me to my coffee in peace without turning the house upside-down.

    It gave me a little space to recharge and destress and find the energy to keep up with them for the next few hours.  The challenges still came thick and fast but I was more patient, tolerant and calmer than I was before, knowing I could take a break soon and they would manage without me for a short while. 
  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Scope Posts: 12,468 Championing
    Hi @CoffeeFirst :) Ross isn't in today, so I just wanted to pick this up. Is it the question in Ross' comment that you don't feel reflects the question you were asking? 
  • CoffeeFirst
    CoffeeFirst Scope Member Posts: 202 Empowering
    Hi Tori,
    I’ve just logged on and seen your message. 
    The question I was asking was ‘How do you cope knowing your child will always be vulnerable?’. It’s a new situation I have found myself in and was looking for how others deal with this. It was more from the emotional and acceptance level and not looking at offering tips. 
    When I read the question it just sounded different to the one I was trying to get out.
    It’s not a problem I just didn’t feel it was my question if this makes sense.
    Thanks for picking this up,
    CF
  • CoffeeFirst
    CoffeeFirst Scope Member Posts: 202 Empowering
    euro said:
    Hi @CoffeeFirst

    Your user name was one of my coping strategies together with heaps of hope and reminding myself repeatedly that love is a verb.

    I quite literally switched off for 10 to 15 minutes every 3 or 4 hours and took myself and a cup of coffee into the garden or my bedroom.  I told them I was having a coffee break and after that,  didn't respond to questions, demands or tantrums until I'd finished my coffee. It was really hard at first.  My eldest is autistic and the youngest has ADHD as well. They were 4 and 6 when I started doing it (both in their early 30's now) and I was really afraid of the damage they might do to themselves, each other and the house whilst I 'ignored' them.  It didn't take long - maybe 2 weeks - for them to accept I was 'unavailable' and leave me to my coffee in peace without turning the house upside-down.

    It gave me a little space to recharge and destress and find the energy to keep up with them for the next few hours.  The challenges still came thick and fast but I was more patient, tolerant and calmer than I was before, knowing I could take a break soon and they would manage without me for a short while. 
    Agreed…Coffee is certainly a life saver! 

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