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Hi i am empathy

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emoathy
emoathy Community member Posts: 1 Listener
in Start here and say hello!
Who excepts there disability?? I was able and could walk but now can’t except the way that I am and get really tearful and get outbursts of tears. Could someone explain to me how they grieved for there disability?? 
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  • L_Volunteer
    L_Volunteer Community Volunteer Adviser, Scope Member Posts: 7,978 Disability Gamechanger
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    Hi @emoathy, 

    Welcome to Scope's forum. It is great to see that you have joined us. It can be difficult to accept new disabilities, especially when they affect our everyday lives. You have made the most important first step as you have recognised that this is difficult for you and that is because it has affected your walking. I think it is about learning what works for you and time is a great healer too. I think the next steps for you would be to identify what you enjoyed the most about walking and how you could find these same benefits in a different way and connect with others with similar experiences! For this, I think you will definitely find our Scope community useful. I would encourage you to keep getting involved in the discussions on our forum. If there is anything specific I can do to support you, please do just let me know  :)
    Community Volunteer Adviser with professional knowledge of education, special educational needs and disabilities and EHCP's. Pronouns: She/her. 

    Please note: if I use the online community outside of its hours of administration, I am doing so in a personal capacity only.
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  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 0 Connected
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    Hi @emoathy and a warm welcome to the community! It's really good to have you with us, and I'm not sure what to add to follow on from @L_Volunteer's fantastic reply!

    Many of our members, including myself know exactly how you are feeling. It's horrible, but time is important in this process. Everybody's road to acceptance is different and can take however long it needs to. It's completely normal to feel how you have described. Try not to be too hard on yourself, accepting that it's difficult to accept is part and parcel of it all.

    Please know that we will always be here for you, whenever you need us :heart:
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  • Ross_Alumni
    Ross_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,652 Disability Gamechanger
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    Hello @emoathy

    Welcome to the community, it's lovely to meet you. 

    I am sorry to hear of how you are feeling at the moment, though it is something that many others feel so you certainly aren't alone. It's about taking things step by step and slowly coming to terms with doing the things you used to love in a slightly different way. 

    You might find this piece on the community helpful, it's about grieving as a disabled person and includes some links at the bottom to relevant resources.
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  • woodbine
    woodbine Community member Posts: 11,621 Disability Gamechanger
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    Hi @emoathy and a warm welcome from me also.
    23 years ago following my second stroke I started having seizures and was told I had epilepsy, which has stayed with me ever since.
    I admit I had great difficulty in the early days, I had to give up my career, I could no longer drive and as a family we had to survive on benefits.
    I definitely grieved for the person I used to be, and it took me some years and counselling to accept what I now was and what my life had become. It wasn't easy and there is no magic formula as we are all different.
    I wish there was a happy ending to my struggle but there isn't as I still have uncontrolled seizures, but I have learned to live with who I am now and how I must live my life with all it's restrictions.
    2024 The year of the general election...the time for change is coming 💡

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  • chiarieds
    chiarieds Community member Posts: 16,103 Disability Gamechanger
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    Hi @emoathy - welcome to this friendly & supportive community from me also. Thank you for joining us all. :)
    In many ways it's been easier for me, as I have a genetic disorder (altho I didn't know that for a long time), so I grew up with it; it was my 'normal.' Overall tho, things did worsen as I grew older, & my mobility also became affected, & pain became a daily event.
    Yes, I miss the things I used to be able to do, like others above, but I try to look at the things I can still do, being especially grateful that my mind works OK, so I feel I am the same person. Like woodbine, I had to stop working, I also chose not to continue driving; something I loved, as I felt that I wouldn't be able to concentrate due to the pain I was then experiencing.
    It's very understandable to grieve the life you feel you've lost, but sometimes there are ways of doing things differently. I would also say it's still important to remain active, but perhaps not on the same scale now; it's a matter of adjusting, & accommodating. Perhaps this link will help with that for both keeping fit physically & mentally. Please see: https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/75929/coping-with-stress-low-mood-and-isolation-a-support-thread/p1
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