Carer/ friend problems

However, things have escalated since then. It all kicked off a few weeks ago. My carer was trying to force me, through guilt, to do something I’d already told her I couldn’t do repeatedly. I obviously got quite upset and stayed in my room for the rest of the day. She then stood in my doorway with her arms crossed and I felt quite intimidated. She kept telling me I needed therapy and that I was imagining things. And when I got really upset about not being able to trust my own brain (I have PTSD) she went back on that and said I wasn’t. I’ve spent so much time confused and disorientated when she’s around me. My history of trauma is triggered constantly and I’m suffering with flashbacks and nightmares because of it. 

My carer has since left as I needed space. I’m now finding myself dreading her return and honestly I don’t want her to come back. 

She’s told people I’ve kicked her out when it was her idea to give me some space. She text me this morning saying ‘whatever is going on with you, you should probably go to the doctor’. I’m upset that needing some space so I can breathe and think automatically means I’m having some kind of breakdown. I don’t know what she’s told other people about where she’s gone and I’m just so tired of having to deal with this all the time. 

I don’t think she realises half of the thing she’s doing but it still doesn’t change the way it makes me feel. I’m so stuck on what to do and I hate that everyone thinks I’m the bad guy when I’m only trying to do what’s best for me and not other people