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Roddy123
Roddy123 Community member Posts: 41 Courageous
in Mental health and wellbeing
After 2 years of dealing with paperwork and utility companies since my husband died,i really am done for i cannot cope with things anymore.
i have generally been very capable of dealing things but now i am completely spent.EDF sending me bills for stairway lighting of £1000 seems crazy ,when its only motion sensor lighting which quickly goes off after 2 minutes,and now PFP energy take £155 each month for gas in my flat and i've not even been home most of this year.How can that be.?
Unfortunately my mind is now a blank and mentally i am not coping with so many things and i swear i am heading for a breakdown.
I have been strong for to long and i cannot face anymore.
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  • woodbine
    woodbine Community member Posts: 11,621 Disability Gamechanger
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    Hi, sorry this is happening, you say it's a flat are you solely responsible for lighting the stairway ? As for the gas have you supplied meter readings or are the bills estimated? Is the £155 per month for your flat just for gas or does that inc.electric? and again have you supplied meter readings?
    Sorry to answer questions with questions but more info is needed to help.
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  • Ross_Alumni
    Ross_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,652 Disability Gamechanger
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    Hello @Roddy123

    Thank you for posting and speaking so honestly about how you feel, I really appreciate it and I'm sure you have the full support of everybody on the community.

    I'm sorry to hear of the passing of your husband, and that you have arrived at a point where you feel as though you are struggling to cope. It can be hard following the loss of a loved one and sometimes we don't feel the true pain until much later, when things perhaps start to catch up with us a bit. 

    Do you have any family or friends who can support you at the minute? Perhaps just by providing somebody to talk to about what you are going through and how you are feeling. Of course, this community will always be here for you too and Scope also have a helpline which you can call.

    Your energy bills seem to be one of the points with which you are finding things hard, have you considered contacting Scope's new Disability Energy Support service? I'm sure the team would be happy to have a chat to see if they can help you at all.

    It concerns me to read about how your mental health is at the moment, is it something you receive support to manage? It might be worth contacting your GP to talk with them about how you feel, to see if they can do anything for you. Additionally, Mind have some helpful resources, including this one about bereavement, and the NHS have an information page about how you can receive support for your grief.

    Do you feel as though you need any additional support and would perhaps benefit from a local authority needs assessment? You can read further information here, which includes details of how you can self-refer for a needs assessment.
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  • Roddy123
    Roddy123 Community member Posts: 41 Courageous
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    thankyou for your response and concern,for i am at my wits end,and i am so weary of all this,and really dont want to be here.Since my husband died 2 years ago i have had nothing but worry,and i am normally very strong,but i'm done.
    i have mental health counciling at Windmill House in Clevedon almost every week,but nothing is working for me now and i see no point to life.


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  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Scope Posts: 12,492 Disability Gamechanger
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    I'm sorry to hear you've been having these kinds of thoughts @Roddy123. I've sent you an email from community@scope.org.uk :)
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  • Libby_Alumni
    Libby_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 1,251 Pioneering
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    Hi @Roddy123 :) 

    I just wanted to check in to see how you're feeling today?

    We're thinking of you, here at Scope, and please let us know if we can help in any other way.
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  • Roddy123
    Roddy123 Community member Posts: 41 Courageous
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    i am struggling but ok ish thankyou.
    I cannot believe the pressure i'm under dealing with energy companies ,gas companies,property problems and reams of paperwork that only i can attend to. But thank you for your concern.
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  • L_Volunteer
    L_Volunteer Community Volunteer Adviser, Scope Member Posts: 7,978 Disability Gamechanger
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    Hello @Roddy123

    Thanks for your response. I am sorry to hear you are under a lot of pressure and stress at the moment. It is no surprise all of that is starting to take a toll on your health and wellbeing. Would you at least like to talk it through with someone? Are there any specific questions or concerns we might be able to help with or is it just the large volumes of paperwork to get through? Sending you hugs either way  <3
    Community Volunteer Adviser with professional knowledge of education, special educational needs and disabilities and EHCP's. Pronouns: She/her. 

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  • Roddy123
    Roddy123 Community member Posts: 41 Courageous
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    Its far to much for anyone.......i normally am very capable but this workload has overwhelmed me.......EDF & PFP ENERGY really are the pits,and i cannot keep talking to a machine,press 1,press 2 malarky,and i get nowhere,and then i have major ongoing property repairs to deal with,and a friend of mine Steven ,who is a bank manager says he could do what i do for he would go under,and if he could'nnt manage, it explains why i cant.
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  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Scope Posts: 12,492 Disability Gamechanger
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    I'm sorry to hear you're under so much stress with your energy bills at the moment @Roddy123. Did you take a look at the DES service that Ross pointed you towards? They may be able to help ease some of that mental load.
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  • Libby_Alumni
    Libby_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 1,251 Pioneering
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    Hello @Roddy123 :)

    I just wanted to check in to see how you're getting on with things? Did you manage to get on top of your workload? I hope you're feeling a bit better about things now and some stress has been relieved for you. 
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  • Roddy123
    Roddy123 Community member Posts: 41 Courageous
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    Well,i am still struggling but coping...just....another added stress was huge trees falling onto my drive during the recent storms, completely blocking any way in,however a tree surgeon came and cleared the drive,but also i have massive trees down in the rear garden,but that will have to wait.
    Thank you for your concern. 
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  • Libby_Alumni
    Libby_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 1,251 Pioneering
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    I'm sorry to hear that you're still struggling @Roddy123; do you feel as though your coping with the stress effectively? I know when I feel anxious or stressed there's certain things that I go to, that I know will help me. For example, going for a walk or listening to some cheesy 90s music (along with some very questionable dancing).

    I'm glad that the tree surgeon came and sorted that out for you. I can imagine that was overwhelming to experience. It sounds like a good idea to wait and tackle the other trees when you're ready and in a good space to do so :) 

    You're more than welcome and if we can help in any other way, please let us know.

    Libby
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  • Roddy123
    Roddy123 Community member Posts: 41 Courageous
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    i must admit i feel the world is against me,for every day more things are thrown up to floor me,but i suppose in some ways its making me stronger in that i do kind of manage,but it is becoming more debilitating as time goes by.
    Thank you for keeping me in your thoughts,it really does help.
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  • Ross_Alumni
    Ross_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,652 Disability Gamechanger
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    Hello @Roddy123 and thanks for replying. 

    I think it will be making you stronger, but from my point of view it seems as though you are already really strong. Given everything you have been through I think you are managing brilliantly through it all.


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